


And I'll Be Yours To Keep

by sweetly_disposed



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst, Ballet, Dancer Harry, Drunk Sex, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Hair Pulling Kink, Harry is of age don't worry, Loss of Virginity, Louis teaches Drama, M/M, Nervous Harry, Pining, Secret Relationship, Smut, Student Harry, Teacher Louis, Teacher Zayn, Virgin Harry, big shock there, of course, performing arts school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-03-12 06:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 59,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3347267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetly_disposed/pseuds/sweetly_disposed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moving from a rough school to a private performing arts college is a culture shock for Louis. He's trying to settle in the best he can, establish himself as a respectable teacher when the kids he's teaching are only a few years younger than himself. One student in particular, quiet Harry Styles, catches Louis' attention from the word go.</p><p> It soon becomes apparent that Harry has talent, is one of the best ballet dancers Louis has ever seen. Louis has a responsibility to keep Harry at arm's length, but with every day that goes by, he feels his control slip a little more. It's risky for everyone involved, but somehow...Harry seems worth it. </p><p>("That's Harry Styles," Zayn said. "He's been at the school since he was eleven. Hands down the best male ballet dancer here, I swear.")</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the art of scraping through

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this came out of nowhere. I saw the video of the Russian ballet dancer Sergei Polunin dancing to Take Me To Church, and his tattoos reminded me of Harry, and then this was born.
> 
> Gasp! A student/teacher AU! How original! I know, but I've not done one before, and I'd love it if you stuck with me. Technically Harry is of age at sixteen here in England, but I made him eighteen to avoid making anyone uncomfortable.
> 
> Title comes from 'Only Love' by Ben Howard.
> 
> Disclaimer: Dont know, don't own. But this is my own original work, so please do not post it anywhere else on the internet without my express permission.

 

 

 

 

If you haven't seen the ballet video, watch it [here](http://youtu.be/c-tW0CkvdDI)

The playlist for the fic can be found [here](http://8tracks.com/sweetly_disposed/and-i-ll-be-yours-to-keep)

My tumblr is [here](http://converseandglitteryboots.tumblr.com/)

 

*****

 

"The problem, Zayn, is that they won't fucking cooperate," Louis ranted. "It doesn't matter how many times I tell them, they just don't bloody listen!"

"Hm" Zayn replied non-commitally, holding a door open so Louis could pass through first, still gesticulating wildly. Whether or not it was intended to be, Louis took his noise as agreement.

"I mean, it's like the fact that I've been teaching for years means nothing to them! Respect, Zayn, is what's missing here. I'm right aren't I?"

"No," Zayn sighed, raising his voice to talk over Louis' indignant spluttering. "You can't demand respect from them, Lou. You try and do that and they'll hate you more."

Louis stopped dead in his tracks, mouth hanging open. Students hurrying between one class and the next dodged round them, tutting at the two of them blocking the hallway. "They hate me?" he whimpered.

"'Hate' was too strong, sorry." Zayn looped an arm around Louis shoulders, urging them forwards again. "Look, you've only been here a week, give it time! The kids just need to get used to you, that's all. I treat my kids like friends, not people to command...I know it might have been different at your last school but that's what works for me here."

"Your kids are so good to you," Louis muttered, envy tinging his words.

"Just 'cause they're used to me," Zayn squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Try and get to know them as people, not just students."

Louis huffed, but he knew Zayn was right. His old school had been tough, a place where you earned your place as a teacher and did everything you could to stay on top of the kids or else they walked all over you. Most of the kids he'd worked with before had troubled home lives, most were loners without anybody to really connect with. Louis had worked hard to strike the right balance between professionalism and care, making sure the kids knew their place in class, but felt able to talk to him if they ever needed to.

That's why he loved teaching drama so much. Expression in any form was good for his kids, gave them time to let off steam in a safe, controlled environment. Given the right setting, some of them had blossomed, unrestricted by stuffy classrooms and work where there was one answer and if they didn't get it they were wrong. Drama was freeing; if Louis had been able to persuade the headmaster, sometimes he'd been allowed to conduct his classes outside on the grass. Seeing his students pack up for the day with relaxed shoulders and smiling faces had always made all the tough times seem worth it.

So coming to a new school where all the students had nice cars and where a bad report card was unheard of came as a bit of a culture shock to Louis. After his last class had graduated he'd decided a change was in order, something that would really push him and his abilities. A performing arts college where his best friend taught modern music had an opening for a drama teacher. Two interviews and a glowing recommendation from Zayn later, Louis had the job.

His first day had been surreal. In the morning he'd seen no less than five Range Rovers pull into the student car park, kids piling into the building with school bags that were worth more than Louis' own little car. Because it was a private college the age ranges were different to the groups Louis was used to dealing with. Instead of teaching students from eleven to sixteen as in any other secondary school, the college started earlier, taking pupils from nine all the way up to eighteen. It was unnerving, walking the corridors with people he taught that were only five years younger than him. The power balance was off, and Louis was out of his comfort zone.

Zayn and Louis took out their ID cards, swiping them across the panel beside the door of the staff room to be allowed admittance. They took a free table at the back of the room, spreading themselves out across the chairs so they could have the space to themselves.

"What have you got next?" Zayn asked, taking out a mini sushi kit and arranging everything in front of himself.

Louis set out his own sandwich and flipped open the front of his folder, checking. "I'm in the Olivier building...Twelfth year Shakespeare," he said, feeling the nerves settle into his stomach already. These students were the oldest, all incredibly talented at multiple art forms. Louis couldn't help but feel a little intimidated by them and the way they carried themselves; they knew they'd end up on the stage, performing to thousands and earning countless awards. Some of them probably even outshone Louis' own talent, even though they were half a decade younger. His crisis of confidence had him questioning if he had the right qualifications and skill level to be able to teach them...well...anything. 

"They can smell your fear, you know,"' Zayn said bluntly, one eyebrow raised as he carefully dropped soy sauce over his rice. "You can do this, you're an amazing teacher."

"Thanks, mate." Louis wrapped up his half eaten sandwich, not hungry anymore. "Who have you got?"

"Tenth years. We're doing Nicki Minaj. I had Niall do me a copy of Super Bass and I learned all the words, they're gonna fucking love it."

 

*****

 

"I am a good teacher," Louis murmured.

He knew he looked a little strange, standing in front of the closed door his twelfth years were behind, but it was what he needed to do if he was going to get through this class. He could hear them chatting, the sound punctuated by a few barks of laughter, each one making the butterflies in Louis' stomach beat their wings harder at his insides. "I know Shakespeare better than they do. _I_ am here to teach _them_. Like Zayn said, don't demand their respect, _earn_ it."

He pulled his shoulders up, took a breath, fixed a beaming smile on his face and threw open the door. The loud chattering died away as he crossed the room to his desk, setting down his files and pulling out a board marker from his pocket. He scrawled 'Louis Tomlinson' across the top of the board and then dropped the marker onto the desk, walking round and hopping up so he was sat facing his class, legs dangling in front of him.

"Afternoon ladies and gents, I'm Louis. I'm replacing Ms Lowry as your drama teacher."

He looked around at the faces staring back at him. Someone coughed.

"So! Let's get started. Who's studied Shakespeare before?" Thankfully, they responded willingly to him, and every single hand rose. "Uh huh," Louis nodded, unsurprised. "Good. Keep your hands up if you've studied _Romeo and Juliet._ " Every hand stayed in the air. " _The Tempest_?" No one moved. " _Twelfth Night_?" At that a few hands did go down. "The Scottish play?" A few hands rose again. " _The Taming Of The Shrew?_ " Most of the hands went down. "I see, so we all watched _10 Things I Hate About You_ instead of reading the play, did we? I don't blame you, I did the same...mostly to ogle Heath Ledger."

A smattering of laughter broke the tense silence. There were the sounds of rustling as a few students sat up straighter in their seats to pay attention, smiles pulling at their mouths. Louis grinned. Now he had them.

"Well you're in luck, because _The Taming Of The Shrew_ is the first play on the syllabus. By next week I'd like you all to have bought copies and read the first act, please." Copies weren't expensive, he reasoned. If the parents of these kids could afford the thousand of pounds of tuition fees to keep them here each year and buy them all matching Range Rovers and Mulberry handbags, he was sure buying a few books wasn't going to be too difficult. The scratching of pens met his ears as he turned to flick through his papers until he found the list of his students names. "Now! Ritual Humiliation time!"

Twenty pairs of apprehensive eyes met his.

"Don't worry, it's not too hard, it's just something I do to try and get to know you all. When I call your name just jump up, introduce yourself and tell me something interesting about yourself."

Louis felt slightly evil; he remembered all too well the excruciating get-to-know-me process his own teachers had inflicted upon him during his school years. Oddly, now the roles were reversed and he had students staring at him like they'd gladly run him over with one of their fancy cars, Louis understood why his past teachers had insisted on doing it. It was a quick and easy way of getting everybody used to him, and it would help him no end.

Through the list he went, listening to what his students had to tell him. Most were the usual, mundane things, just what they were studying at the college, if they had a pet, how many siblings they had, but Louis didn't mind, he'd let them off easy seeing as it was their first class with him. He tried to remember the names of most of them; Amy with her swishy blonde hair, Oliver with the freckles, Tia with a soft Irish accent, Adam...Aaron?...with the scruffy beard, but after a while he gave up, just smiling and nodding and resolving to pick their names up along the way.

They were getting fidgety, and Louis knew it was time for a coffee break.

"Just the last few, guys, then we'll have a break," Louis told them, and got a few grateful smiles in return. He glanced down at his list. "Harry Styles?"

A couple of the girls at the front snickered, swivelling in their seats towards the back of the classroom. Louis frowned at them, following their gaze to watch a tall, thin boy unfurl himself from his seat and clamber to his feet. He was all angles and sharp jawline, dark brown hair reaching his shoulders, curling around his neck. He fidgeted, pulling the sleeves of his white uniform shirt down over his hands and nibbling at the inside of his lip.

Louis jumped in. "Hey! Nice to meet you."

"Hi," Harry replied, offering Louis a small smile. "I'm Harry, I'm eighteen, and I...erm, I..."

The girls at the front were full on giggling now, fingers clamped over their lips.

"Is something funny, girls?' Louis asked stonily, fixing them with a glare. "Fancy sharing it with the rest of us?"

They just shook their heads, lowering them meekly, though Louis could still see smiles pulling at their mouths. He narrowed his eyes at them, making a mental note to split them up next class...once he'd remembered their names.

"Carry on, Harry," he said gently, looking back to the boy. Harry's eyes were darting between him and the girls, and Louis saw him swallow thickly. The strangest urge to go to him, to sling his arm around his shoulders and tell him everything was okay, pulled at Louis' chest. He swallowed, digging his fingernails into his thigh to remind himself where they were.

"I...really like Shakespeare?" Harry finished, embarrassment rolling off him in waves.

"Great!" Louis said enthusiastically, skimming over the awkwardness and gesturing for Harry to sit down. Harry did, almost collapsing into his chair again, tucking his legs up and making himself as small as possible, cheeks bright pink. "It's a good thing you're in this class, then!"

Louis moved on smoothly, getting through the last few names in double time and then kicking them out for a fifteen minute break. He sat behind his desk and watched them file out, subtly tracking Harry's movements as he picked himself up, trailing after his classmates alone. Louis watched him, curiosity piqued, wondering why on earth this one was holding his attention.

 

*****

 

By the end of the week, Louis was exhausted. His classes weren't spread out evenly like they were in school, here they were staggered, all starting at different times and Louis just knew his sleeping schedule was fucked already. He'd just come from a three hour session on _Equus_ with his ninth years, and if he had to listen to fourteen and fifteen year old boys neighing again he was going to stab _their_ eyes out to see how they liked it.

He had plans to meet Zayn outside the staff room so they could go for a drink at the pub down the road when their Friday classes had finished. Louis had planned to do absolutely nothing this weekend, and he was longing to get home, order in pizza with Liam, and spend his weekend trying to recover from the stress of the week. His mum and sisters had begged him to come home and tell them all about his new job, but Louis had put it off so far, wanting to truly settle in before he told her much about it. A few students passed him, some nodding in greeting, some going as far to say goodbye and wish him a nice weekend. That was progress, at least. He turned down the corridor towards the dance studios, knowing, thanks to Zayn, that it was a quicker route to the staff room.

There were six studios down the corridor, all huge rooms with a piano, stereo system and an entire wall of mirrors. Today only one was occupied, an after school ballet class, with fifteen or so students all lined up at the barre by the mirror, all doing plies at the same time. Louis slowed his pace to walk past the door, mildly curious, and then continued on his way.

He'd thought only one studio was being used...apparently he'd been wrong. The studio at the end of the corridor had its lights on, though at first glance through the glass door there was no one in there. Louis put his hand on the door handle, ready to open the door a crack and flip off the lights for whoever had forgotten to do it, when someone moved into view.

Louis shrank back, out of sight of the dancer but still able to get a good view of them. They had their back to Louis, but by the broad shoulders and narrow hips, Louis guessed it was a man. He was dressed in a loose grey top and tight fitting leggings, feet well strapped into ballet shoes. When he finally finished stretching and turned so Louis could get a good look at his profile, his eyes widened.

It was Harry. Shy, nervous Harry from his twelfth year Shakespeare class. Louis hadn't recognised him because his hair was pulled back from his face and tied into a bun. Harry adjusted said bun then, arms lifting and pulling up his t-shirt, and Louis swallowed at the sight of Harry's pale skin. Louis looked over him, toned calves and muscular thighs, his black leggings so tight they left little to the imagination. The grey t-shirt was loose, but it hung down Harry's chest, revealing a pair of tattoos inked just below pronounced collarbones-

Louis stepped back sharply. What the fuck was he thinking? Harry was a _student_. He was eighteen for fucks sake! And under Louis' protection! And here Louis was, ogling him like he was some seedy old bloke in a bar and Harry was fresh meat.

He felt hot all over, sick to his stomach, and he yanked himself away, taking a few strides down the corridor as he tried to calm his racing heart. Before he could get himself a good distance away, music started, the opening sounds of a piano and an accompanying male voice. Louis knew the song; he'd heard Liam playing Hozier through the walls of their flat a couple of times before.

Seemingly of their own accord his feet moved, taking him back to hide in the shadows of the corridor and watch Harry. He was kneeling on the floor, slowly gliding to lie on his back, toes perfectly pointed. The music kicked in, and Harry lifted his hips, arching his back up high and _oh_ \- that really wasn't helping Louis.

He suddenly flipped himself onto his front, lifting himself on his arms to a standing position, and holding himself in a pose that looked similar to the lunges Liam did when he worked out. He was strong lines, confident movements; Louis would have sworn it wasn't Harry if he couldn't see his face so clearly. He was beauty, he was elegance, and he was strength, looking like he belonged right where he was. Listening to Hozier singing and watching Harry take a step with each chord of the piano had Louis captivated, eyes glued completely to Harry's body.

The chorus started and Harry suddenly launched himself into a jump, spinning midair and landing perfectly, starting a sequence of steps that Louis could barely keep up with, covering every inch of the studio floor. And he didn't stop, he kept in time and followed the song until the very end, ending lying flat on his back in the middle of the floor. Louis could see his chest heaving, sweat soaking into his shirt and staining it dark. He had his eyes shut, lips parted as he breathed steadily.

Louis felt like he needed to do the same, do something to calm himself down. How could he look at this lovely, shy boy now without knowing what he could do? How fucking talented he was? He wasn't going to be able to look him in the eye again without picturing him sweating in tight leggings, either.

He heard footsteps approaching and jumped back from the door, standing there uselessly. His mind raced for an excuse, but when Zayn appeared from the shadows Louis relaxed, hoping Zayn couldn't see how flustered he looked in the dim lighting.

"Hey, what're you hanging around here for?" Zayn asked, peering past Louis into the studio.

"I wasn't, I mean, I was just-"

"Ah," Zayn said, nodding his head in understanding. "You watching him? Brilliant isn't he?"

"He's incredible." Louis agreed, looking back to Harry to find him stretching again, oblivious to the two of them outside the door.

"That's Harry Styles," Zayn said. "He's been at the school since he was eleven. Hands down the best male ballet dancer here, I swear."

Louis nodded, "I know him, he's in my Shakespeare class...he's so shy though, I don't understand. I did Ritual Humiliation with them and he almost fainted when he had to stand up and introduce himself."

"Yeah," Zayn looked pained. They took one last look at Harry, who was digging through his bag and pulling out his phone and a banana, and began walking away by wordless agreement, moving quietly until they were in the brighter, wider hallway that lead to the staffroom. "He's a bit of a loner, always been like that. He doesn't come from the same background as the other kids, and they know it."

"What do you mean?"

"Harry's parents work really hard to keep him here each term,' Zayn explained as they gathered their belongings from their lockers. "For the other kids, their tuition fees are pocket change to their parents, but Harry's family aren't from that sort of background. The other kids know it, and he's been teased because of it."

"That's fucking horrible," Louis muttered, following Zayn back out and towards the entrance of the school. "How could they? He seems lovely."

"He is. So are his parents. I've met them a couple of times, Parents' Evening, that sort of stuff...they're so proud of him. _I_ nearly cried when I told them how well he's doing. They give up a lot for him, but they know they can't let that sort of talent go to waste, and it's all worth it when they see him perform."

"I bet," Louis replied, throwing himself into Zayn's car and reaching for his seatbelt. His mind was already turning back to the college where Harry still was. Louis wondered whether he was doing another routine, or the same one again, not entirely happy with the first time round. Louis pictured him warming down, packing up his stuff and heading home. He hoped he didn't live too far away, hoped he didn't have to walk too far on his own...and balked when he recognised that the protectiveness in him that he felt towards Harry should _not_ be there. Not only because he was Louis' student, but also because he'd only spoken about ten words to him in his life.

"Actually, mate, I'm not feeling the pub right now. Is it okay if you just drop me home?"

"Course, you feeling okay?"

"Yeah...just a headache is all. Think I've a got a migraine coming."

Liam wasn't in when Louis got home, which Louis was guiltily thankful for. It meant he could shower and curl up on the sofa with a takeaway menu and try and sort his head out. For the life of him, he couldn't get Harry and his dancing out of his mind. The song he'd heard was stuck in his head, playing on a loop and matching with the figure of Harry moving seamlessly in time. Even when he turned the tv on _Take Me To Church_ was blaring out of the music channel which did Louis absolutely no favours.

He had to stop it. It was so inappropriate. Every instinct Louis had as a teacher knew it was so wrong to be thinking of a student in such a way...but it was as if those instincts had been shut up by something bigger, something Louis couldn't control that sat in the back of his head and reminded him of what he'd seen, making him feel stupid shit like empathy and compassion towards a boy that he'd said ten words to and ogled in the dark.

It was wrong, and it was stupid, and Louis needed to get rid of it. He ordered too much pizza, texted Liam telling him there would be some left over for whenever he got back, and opened the fridge door to discover a new six pack in there.

That would help.

 

*****

 

On Monday morning it was pissing it down, putting Louis in an even worse mood that he had been when he woke up. He finished his tea, kissed Liam goodbye on the only bit of him that was visible from beneath the covers (his forehead) and ran to his car, swearing profusely in the downpour.

Traffic was slow, infuriatingly so. Louis crawled towards the school, windscreen wipers going, feeling like giving up already and going home to curl back up under his duvet. The sheets were probably still warm, he thought sadly. Maybe he could fake something. He'd told Zayn he had a migraine on Friday...he could still have one, couldn't he? He might need a doctors note to prove it, though, and Louis didn't have the patience for elaborate lies.

He watched a the stream of pedestrians on the pavement beside him, sloshing through the puddles, walking as quickly as they could to get out of the rain. One person moved slower, though, hair matted to his head, hems of his school trousers soaked through.

The traffic moved forward slowly, and Louis drew closer until he was certain it was who he suspected it to be. Then he rolled down his window and yelled.

"Harry!"

Harry jumped, spinning around with wide eyes. Louis beckoned him over and Harry came, dodging a particularly large puddle by Louis' car.

"Morning, Louis. Did you have a good weekend?" he asked politely, as if he wasn't aware he was soaking wet.

"Harry, don't you have a coat?"

Harry's cheeks turned pink. "Left it at home," he shrugged. "I'm okay- it looks worse than it is."

Louis scoffed. "Okay. Get in the car."

Harry only stared, wide eyed. "Erm, I'm not sure...that's not...uh."

"Harry, I'm your teacher, and as your teacher, I can tell you what to do." Louis smiled in what he hoped was a friendly way. "What kind of responsible adult would I be if I let one of my students catch hypothermia?"

Harry smiled a little, looking at the car like he was tempted.

"Get in," Louis ordered gently. "Please."

Harry needed no further encouragement, walking around the front of the car and sliding in next to Louis. His hair was sodden, plastered to his head and dripping water down his neck in rivulets. He was shivering too, fingers trembling and lips quivering. Louis thought they looked a little blue.

"How long have you been out in that?" Louis said, reaching into his back seat to fumble for the towel he had in a bag (Liam made Louis keep a gym bag in his car in the hope that he might start going, miraculously discover a love for working out, and become Liam's gym buddy. Ha. Right.) and handed it to Harry.

"Here, love," the endearment slipped passed his lips before he could stop it, and Louis cringed, drawing his hand back and gripping the steering wheel.

"Thanks," Harry said quietly, towelling his hair dry and shrugging off his school blazer to dab at it uselessly. It needed a dryer, not a towel. "I, er, it's about a forty five minute walk from my house to the college."

"You walk that everyday?"

"Yeah. I like it, though. I like walking. Just not in the pouring rain." He chuckled, and Louis' knuckles turned white on the wheel at the sound.

Up close, Louis was so aware of Harry's body, of his broad shoulders and big hands, the column of his neck and his sharp jawline. For someone so quiet he invaded Louis' car with his deep voice and lovely, clean smell, though it was partially smothered by the smell of the rain. Mercifully, the traffic moved again, and Louis focused hard on the road, getting them both safely to the college and into the car park.

"Thanks, Louis," Harry said, making to gather up his bags and open the car door.

"No problem," Louis found the words leaving his mouth like it was disconnected from his brain. "If it's still like this later I'll give you a lift home again."

Harry's eyes went wide. "Oh no, no there's no need. It'll look weird to other people, won't it? And you've been too nice already, I'll walk, I like walking."

"No arguments," Louis said firmly. "If it's still raining, I'm driving."

Harry's 'thank you' was quiet, and then he was unfolding those long legs from the car and hurrying into the building.

Louis had never prayed so hard for rain in his entire life.

 

*****

 

By the end of the day, it was still hammering with rain, and Louis was ecstatic.

He let his last class out fifteen minutes early he was feeling so generous, and all but skipped through the puddles to his car. He started the engine, cranking the heat up and pulling the visor down to look in the mirror attached to the back of it, making sure his hair was sitting right and hadn't gone fluffy from the humidity.

He looked at himself in the mirror, looked at the brightness in his eyes, wondering why the fuck he was acting like a sixteen year old about to go on a date when he was just driving a student home. He knew nothing about Harry, didn't even know if he was gay.

That could change, though, he reasoned.

The car door opening made him jump, his heart rabbiting in his chest at Harry's smile when he was settled in the seat next to him.

"Thanks for doing this, Louis. You're right, I don't really fancy walking home in this if I'm honest," Harry said, leaning forwards to peer through the window at the sky. "I think it's going to get worse."

"Ah well, at least you've got me to drive you now," Louis replied, looking out of the back window and inching out of the space, joining the queue of traffic leaving the college gates.

He saw Harry look at him from the corner of his eye, eyes wide. "Oh no, no I didn't mean it like that, you don't have to-"

"Harry, I want to. Honestly." Louis cut him off with a smile. "I have a responsibility to look after my students. What's twenty minutes more after school, ey? I really don't mind."

He saw Harry blush and duck his head. Louis felt very smug that he'd put it there, liked the fact that he had that much influence over Harry to elicit that sort of reaction from him.

"You can put the radio on if you want...just don't forget to direct me to your place." Harry did so, fingers twisting the dial on the dash until he found a station he liked, settling back in his seat and looking out of the window, fingers tapping on his knee in time with the [music.](http://youtu.be/heuFBVLpVqI) Louis recognised the artist, the same deep voice that Harry had danced to.

"Is this Hozier?" He asked, and Harry nodded, brightening.

"Do you like him? I have his album. Some of the pieces I'm working on for my end of year exam are set to a couple of his songs."

Louis wanted to say _I know_ , say _I saw you_ and _you're incredible,_ but he held his tongue, making an interested noise and promising to listen to the rest of the album.

"You can borrow my copy?" Harry offered, "Just in case you don't like it...there's no point buying something if you might hate is there?"

"I probably won't hate it, but you're right, thanks," Louis said, though Harry could have said 'buy a hundred copies' and Louis probably would have done whether he liked the album or not.

They sat in a comfortable quietness, the peace only broken by the radio and Harry's directions to his house. Louis was dying to ask questions about Harry, find out as much as he could about the intriguing person sat opposite him. The last thing he wanted to do, though, was scare Harry off. He was loving how Harry seemed a different person the further away from the college they drove, becoming more animated, chatty, even making attempts at joking with Louis, though they were both still aware of the professional barrier between them. Louis cursed that invisible wall between them, wanting nothing more than to be able to talk to Harry as if he was a friend. Everything else he was beginning to feel for him could be pushed away if only he was allowed to get to know him more, without the constraints of the college hanging over them.

When Zayn had said that he should treat the kids like they were friends, Louis wasn't sure if this was exactly what he meant.

Eventually they pulled up to Harry's house, Louis parking as close as he could to prevent Harry from getting too drenched on his way in.

"Oh! Stay here, I'll get you the album!" Harry said, opening the door and jumping out before Louis could stop him.

Louis wound down the window and called after him, even though he was already halfway to the door, "Harry, no! It can wait! Go inside and stay inside!"

"I'll be two seconds!" Harry called back, fumbling in his pocket for his keys. Louis sighed.

The house Harry lived in was nice; a perfectly normal semi detached house in a neighbourhood that looked a pretty pleasant place to live. The house had a small front garden and a driveway with a car that looked, admittedly, like it had seen better days, but the garden was well kept, the fences neatly painted. Louis felt a surge or irritation for the kids that had teased Harry for this. Just because they were born into money and Harry wasn't gave them no right to think any less of him. If only they could look past that, they might see the funny, sweet boy that Louis was beginning to see.

Harry ran back out of his house, face turned down against the rain. He reached Louis' car and thrust his arm into the open window, handing Louis the album.

"Listen tonight?" he asked, a little breathless from running.

"Promise." Louis said, "...Pick you up tomorrow?"

"What if it's stopped raining?"

Louis' heart thundered in his chest, a red flag waved frantically in his head. He spoke past the lump in his throat. "Probably shouldn't take that risk."

Harry grinned "Okay, see you tomorrow, then."

And if all Louis did that night was listen to the album on repeat (Harry was right, it _was_ good), then nobody but him needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how long this is going to be...if you have any ideas of anything you want to see in this story, feel very free to drop me a comment :)
> 
> Ritual Humilation is actually something my lecturers do at uni. Hellish, isn't it.
> 
> Chapter title comes from 'Someone New' by Hozier.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. you burn through my mind

Louis beeped the horn twice quickly, peering out of the car window to watch Harry emerge from his house and hurry down to where he was parked. The rain had let up a little today, but then again, it could have been clear skies and warm, sunny weather and Louis still would have insisted on picking Harry up. He clung to the reasoning that it was his duty as a teacher to ensure his students got to school safely and on time. It wasn't inappropriate, it was...conscientious. Yeah. Conscientious.

"Your chariot awaits, Mr. Styles," Louis announced through the window as Harry got closer, biting his lip to contain his smile at Harry's quiet snort of laughter.

"Morning!" Harry said brightly, setting his school bag on the floor and reaching around to pull the seatbelt across his body. "Did you listen to the album?"

"All the way through," Louis nodded, glancing in his blind spot before indicating and pulling into the traffic. "Really liked it."

Harry looked pleased. "Good. You can keep it if you like...I have it on my iPod anyway."

"...How about we keep it in here?" Louis offered, reaching down the side of his seat to pull out the case and hand it to Harry. Keeping the album in the car meant Harry would have to keep coming back for it, which was something Louis was, unsurprisingly, totally okay with. Their fingers brushed, just the tiniest of touches, as Harry took the CD from him. Louis pulled back like he'd been burned, curling his tingling fingers around the steering wheel and not looking at Harry.

Harry hadn't seemed to notice, though, just nodding along with Louis suggestion and slipping the disc into Louis' car radio.

"Got your book for class today?" Louis asked as the album started from the beginning, just quiet enough to be background music.

"Uh huh," Harry said, 'I've actually read _The Taming Of the Shrew_ before, so I just skimmed over it again."

'"Huh," Louis glanced at him. "Might have to test your knowledge then."

Harry didn't reply. When Louis looked over at him he was tugging his lip between his teeth, the fingers of his left hand picking at a hangnail on his right thumb. Louis flicked his eyes back to the road, and then to Harry again, watching as he pulled too hard and ripped the skin away from his thumb. Harry made a little sound of pain and sucked the digit into his mouth.

"Or not," Louis said softly, frowning.

The rest of the car journey was spent in silence that bordered being uncomfortable. When he'd parked the car Harry mumbled his thanks, barely meeting Louis' eyes, and extracted himself from the car so fast he almost tripped. Louis could do nothing but sit where he was and watch Harry hurry away, shoulders hunched over, bag swinging against his side, and wonder what on earth he'd said.

 

*****

 

Louis had a headache. Class should have started five minutes ago, but because of Louis' lack of attention towards his twelfth years, their chatter was getting louder and louder, voices bouncing off the inside of his skull. He sat behind his desk, watching the hand on the clock tick round slowly. The students kept looking at Louis uncertainly, wondering why he hadn't told them to shut up and pay attention yet. Aaron...Adam?...was openly staring between Louis and the clock without a hint of subtlety about him.

Louis couldn't start, though, not while Harry's seat at the back of the room was still empty. He hadn't been late to one of Louis' classes yet, and it was too much of a coincidence that the day Louis teased him about making him talk in front of the class was the day that Harry chose to skip. Ten minutes in and the kids were getting bored, talking louder and louder, and Louis knew time was up.

"Right, you lot. Settle down," he called. The chatter mercifully died down, and everyone dutifully turned towards him in their seats. "The plan for today is to do some warm ups and then get on with some practical work. I'll split you up and give you passages of the text to practise and then perform to the rest of us-"

The door swung open and Harry shuffled in, head bent low. He muttered an apology in Louis' direction and sat quickly. Louis could see the tension in him, stiff shoulders, hands curled into loose fists where they rested on his desk. The rest of the class made no secret in watching Harry, turning obviously in their seats and gawping at him.

Louis let it slide. "...So first we'll warm up, practise the passages, then we'll take a break and then come back and perform. Sound good?" There was a murmur of assent through the room. "Good. Let's go."

Louis guided them through warm ups and then split them into pairs, giving them a random exerpt of dialogue and spreading them out around the studio away from the tables to give them space to practise. He moved around them, listening in, offering direction and advice as he went. He'd paired Harry with Tia, and he kept an eye on them, mentally pleading with Harry to relax because Tia was having a really hard time rehearsing with someone that wasn't in the zone enough to get any real work done.

He stopped them all after an hour. "All right, guys, good work. Go get coffee and be back in ten, okay?"

They all piled for the door, making so much noise that Louis had to shout over them to be heard. "Harry? A word, please?"

One of the boys snickered, nudging the girl next to him and gesturing at Harry as all the colour drained from his face. When the two of them caught sight of Louis' unimpressed expression their smiles dropped and they bolted from the studio, the door clicking shut behind them.

Louis hopped up on the desk, waiting for Harry to approach him. Harry crossed the room slowly, like a timid animal, and stopped warily a little way from Louis, opening his mouth to speak.

Louis stopped him, raising a hand. "Before you apologise for being late, don't. I don't care about that. I just wanted to ask if everything was okay?"

Harry scuffed his shoes against the floor and didn't say anything, mouth turned down, looking for all the world like Louis had told him he was calling his mother to tell her her son was the worst student Louis had ever taught and that he was getting kicked out of the college.

"Harry, if this is about what I said earlier-"

"Please don't make me perform," Harry blurted suddenly, looking up at Louis. "Please, I- I can't, I don't want to. I've only read it once before, I don't know everything, please don't test me in front of everyone-"

"Woah," Louis held his hands up, "Slow down! I was only teasing, I didn't mean it."

"No, you don't get it," Harry told him impatiently, and if it had been any other student Louis would have reprimanded them for talking to him like that. "Do you think I don't notice them laughing at me?"

"Harry-" Louis said weakly.

"You making me stand up there and perform is only going to make that a hundred times worse. I can't do it, I really can't, I'm sorry."

Louis slid off the desk. That desire to take Harry's trembling fingers into his own and calm him down tugged at his chest again, his fingers twitched at his sides. He folded his arms across his chest, digging his hands into his armpits to cage them there before they could touch Harry, feel the heat of his skin under his hands.

"It's okay," he soothed. "I understand. I wouldn't have made you perform if you really didn't want to, and there's no way I'd have tested your knowledge on the text with no prior warning. I'm sorry if it came off the wrong way."

Harry nodded, though he wouldn't meet Louis' eyes.

"Look," Louis continued, daring to step closer to Harry. "You don't really want to be here for the rest of the session, do you? Be honest." Harry gave the tiniest shake of his head. "Thought not. Go and find a free dance studio, go and calm down. I'll mark your attendance as present."

Harry looked up at him, wide eyes shining. "You're serious?"

"Yep. Go quickly, before the others get back."

Harry didn't need any further encouragement, hurrying back to his seat and gathering his belongings up. He paused by the door, turning back to Louis.

"Thanks, Louis."

Louis waved him off. "See you at the car later?"

Harry nodded, and slipped out of the door. Five minutes later the rest of the class returned, already splitting back up into their pairs. Louis pulled Tia aside and told her that Harry was ill and that he'd sent him home, and pretended not to see the expression of relief that crossed her face.

 

*****

 

Louis sat in the the staffroom, watching the midday news on the television in the corner of the room with half-hearted interest. He'd gone past the dance studios on the way to his lunch break to see if he could catch Harry dancing again, but he'd had no such luck. All he'd found were a group of eleven year olds doing ballet and a group of fifteen years olds tap dancing. He wanted to go looking for Harry, but he knew that would look too weird, stalking the hallways and skulking around the vast library until he found him. Wherever he was, Louis just hoped he was okay.

Louis didn't know what it was like to not really have any friends. That wasn't meant to be boastful, it was just that he'd always seemed to make friends easily, never had a shortage of people he could call up and arrange a night out with. Liam had been a constant presence in his life since they were kids in primary school together, and he and Zayn had been attached at the hip since they'd met during their teacher training at uni. He couldn't imagine not having his boys around him. Plus, he wasn't very good at time on his own, always had to have someone's attention on him. Maybe thats why he clicked with drama; there was always a chance to be in the spotlight.

Now, though, he was beginning to crave Harry's attention. He wanted Harry to be able to talk to him, tell him about himself and discover how that quiet, anxious person turned into the skilful performer Louis had seen at just the sound of a song. It didn't appear Harry had many friends around the college, and it crossed Louis' mind that he wanted to be able to be someone like that to him. It was becoming rapidly becoming a hunger, the need to see Harry, be close to him. It worried him, the idea that Louis' reckless, irresponsible desire might become more than that, grow into something bigger that Louis couldn't handle and then spiral out of control and hurt Harry in the process. That scared him more than anything.

There was no sign of Harry until the end of the day, until Louis left the college and headed over to his car only to find Harry already there, holding two takeaway cups from the campus coffee shop.

"Hi," he said, holding out one of the cups to Louis, "I got you this. I don't know what you like, so I just got you tea, I hope that's okay. And I don't know if you like sugar so I just added milk, but I took some packets so you could add it if you want to. I'm probably not supposed to do that because it's inappropriate or something but I wanted to say thank you. For today, I mean. For understanding.'

Warmth bloomed in Louis' chest at Harry's nervous rambling. "Thank you, Harry," he said sincerely, taking the cup from him and raising it to his lips. He fumbled with his keys in his other hand, unlocking the car and gesturing to Harry to get in. "Tea is perfect. And for the record, I don't take sugar."

Harry looked pleased. "Somehow I knew you didn't."

Louis looked him over properly as he put his tea in the cup holder and started the engine. He looked happier, relaxed, eyes softer when he smiled. If anything, it only cemented Louis' conviction that he'd made the right decision in letting him out of class.

"So, do you feel better now?" he asked when they were some distance from school.

"Much," Harry replied, cradling his cup between his hands. _Big hands_ , Louis thought, and swallowed hard. "Thank you, again."

"You're welcome. I can't make a habit of it, of course, but I'm glad it made you feel better. You know now that I won't make you do anything you don't want to, right?"

"I know," Harry agreed. "I trust you," he said simply, shrugging like it was the most casual thing in the world to say that to your teacher. "Louis?"

"Hm?" Louis replied, still a little giddy from Harry's words.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"Fire away."

"How old are you?"

Louis smiled to himself. He'd been expecting that question sooner or later. "I'm twenty three. My birthday was a couple of months ago. On Christmas Eve."

Harry was quiet. "You're young for a teacher," he said eventually.

"I guess so."

"I turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago. You're only five years older than me."

"I suppose I am," Louis murmured, unsure how to interpret Harry's thoughtful tone. "Don't think that just because I'm a little bit older than you I have less authority, though. I'm still your teacher, don't you forget it," he teased, raising an eyebrow over at Harry. Truthfully, he wasn't sure which one of them he was trying to remind with that statement.

"I think it's cool that you're younger...you understand us better, I think. You talk to us like we're adults, it's nice."

"Glad I'm getting something right, then," Louis said, voice carefully light. Inside, though, he was doing a little happy dance. Zayn had been right after all; slowly but surely, he was earning their respect. Knowing he had Harry's respect, though, somehow meant more to him.

Louis turned left at the lights without Harry's instruction, sure he knew where he was going. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"If you hate performing so much, why are you at a performing arts college? I don't mean that in a rude way or anything, I'm genuinely curious. Surely attending a college like that means you love performing in front of people?"

Harry didn't say anything for a moment. "It's hard to explain. I specialise in ballet...it's what I've always done." Louis wanted to say _I know_ , but then realised Harry didn't know he'd been watched while he was rehearsing, so he bit his tongue, waiting for Harry to go on. "When I have to dance a routine there's always the music that distracts me...it sounds weird but I can kind of get lost inside my own head? Sorry, I know that's odd."

"Not at all," Louis reassured, turning another corner, "Go on."

"When there's no music, I can't concentrate properly. Something or someone always distracts me, and I lose focus. Plus, when the music's playing I can't hear the others laughing." The bitterness in his voice surprised Louis. He felt a sharp pang of sympathy for him in his chest. "I have to take other classes for my course, they're compulsory, but if I had my way I'd spend every day in the dance studios."

Harry gasped then, swivelling so his body was angled towards Louis. "I didn't mean it like that! I really enjoy your classes, you're a really good teacher, I promise! God, I told you it was hard to explain!"

"No, no, I get it. I promise." Louis offered Harry a smile. "No offence taken or anything like that, I completely understand where you're coming from."

"Why are you so nice?" Harry asked helplessly, shaking his head a little. "No one else gets it...but you do."

Louis pulled up outside Harry's house, killing the engine and turning to face him properly. He wondered how on earth Harry struggled so much to express himself through words when he could do it with so little thought with his body.

"I do," he said earnestly, nodding fervently as if that would make Harry believe him more. "For future reference, if you ever feel uncomfortable at any point, come and speak to me. I won't have anybody out of their depth in my class."

Harry looked like he was about to cry. His eyes looked slightly watery around the edges and when he spoke his voice came out strained and strangled. "Thank you."

Harry reached for the door handle, and then paused, lowering his hand again and turning back to face Louis. "One more question?"

"Go ahead."

"Erm. I'm just curious, really. Do you have a family? Are you, like, married?"

Louis' laugh was a little too high pitched and a little too drawn out to sound natural. He cleared his throat a few times, stalling. He was all too aware that this conversation had taken the handbook on Appropriate Student/Teacher Conversation and thrown it right out the window. Really though, he thought, he may as well have taken every rule book in the world like that and burned them in a pile the second he'd laid eyes on Harry.

Ah well. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"I'm not married," Louis told him, lifting his ring-less left hand off the wheel to wave it in Harry's direction. "Haven't found the right guy to settle down with."

He let Harry process that information, felt his eyes on the side of his head even as he kept his own eyes steadfastly on the road ahead, even though the car was parked. The air around them had become thick and heavy, pressing down on Louis' shoulders and threatening to suffocate him.

"See you later, Louis," Harry's voice broke the tension between them.

The slam of the car door behind him made Louis jump, and he released a slow breath that came out shaky between his lips, watching Harry's back as he walked up the path to his front door. As soon as he was inside Louis thunked his forehead on the steering wheel, groaning.

 

*****

 

"Lou! How was your day?" Liam asked, leaning over the back of the couch to drop a kiss onto Louis' hair before striding off again without waiting for a reply. "I've got to go in a bit, agreed to meet a mate from work at the gym, but I made pasta for dinner and there's some in the fridge if you want it. Oh! And Tom called, saying something about when the rent is due, I don't know, I wasn't really listening..."

Liam stuck his head out of the kitchen door when Louis failed to respond to anything he was saying. "Louis?"

Louis startled a little, torn from his thoughts, and looked over his shoulder at Liam. "Right. Gym, pasta, rent, got it. Sorry, I was thinking."

"Uh oh," Liam joked, and Louis ignored him. Perhaps his lack of a snarky retort worried Liam, because he came and sat next to Louis on the sofa, lifting up a corner of the duvet and burrowing underneath, rearranging Louis' limbs so he was tucked into Liam's side. He said nothing, just waited, fingers tapping an uneven rhythm on Louis' knee.

"You've got to go to the gym." Louis tried.

"It can wait." Liam dismissed, falling into silence once again. It was alarming, how well he knew Louis. He knew that if he waited long enough Louis would eventually spill everything.

It took Louis exactly twelve seconds more to start talking.

"Liam," he started, and Liam hummed a reply. "How do you know when something's wrong?"

Liam considered his words for a moment. "Wrong as in incorrect? Or morally wrong?"

Louis grimaced. "Morally wrong."

"That doesn't sound good." Liam shifted closer, "What's happened?"

Louis sighed heavily, slumping sideways into Liam and burying his nose into Liam's shirt. "There's this guy.'

"What did you say?" Liam said, "Can't hear you in there.'"

Louis sniffed, moving his head higher to rest on Liam's shoulder. "There's this guy."

"Okay."

"And he's, he's great, Liam. Funny, and sweet, and...he's _gorgeous_ , you should see him."

"He sounds nice."

"He is, honestly. I've been driving him home for the past few days and I just, he makes me feel...stuff. Like... like I'm losing control, or something. It's never been like this before, and I don't know what to do about it," Louis whined. "It's bad, isn't it? I know it's bad."

"Well, maybe not," Liam said, and Louis looked up at him in surprise. He shrugged, "Well, it's not ideal, sure, but you know, if you kept it a secret I'm not sure the college would mind that much."

Louis looked at him like he'd sprouted a second head. "What."

"Oh come on, Lou. Relationships between teachers at school aren't as rare as you think. Remember Mr Peters at school? He was going out with that geography teacher for ages, no one minded that much."

Louis pulled away from Liam, not daring to look at him. He felt a little bit sick.

"No, Li," he shook his head, pinching the skin between his eyebrows against the headache that was rapidly developing there. "No. He's...he's one of my students."

He felt strange saying the words out loud. It was a relief to get it off his chest, but at the same time saying the words made it sound scarily real. It wasn't just an idea anymore, not just a concept in Louis' head. He'd admitted it; it was real, tangible.

Liam leaned forward to meet Louis' eyes, eyebrows so far up his forehead Louis briefly wondered if they'd keep going and disappear into his hair line.

"He's a _student_?! What the _fuck_ , Louis?!"

"He's eighteen!" Louis protested, "It's not like he's a minor, or anything. He's a legal adult, perfectly capable of making his own decisions. I just..." he flopped backwards, staring at the ceiling of the living room. The peeling paint stared back at him. Louis didn't know it was possible to feel like you were being judged by a ceiling until now. "There's something about him, Li."

"Mate, I think you're going to have to forget whatever that 'something' is," Liam scoffed, shaking his head at Louis. "Legally, he's still under your care, that makes him a minor. You could go to prison if anyone found out!"

"Yeah, but. What if no one found out?"

"I can't believe I'm still having this conversation, Louis," Liam said, tone brooking no argument, "You can't seriously be considering trying anything with him, are you? You could be convicted of grooming and lose your license to teach for the rest of your life, and-"

"Okay! Jesus, okay," Louis stopped him with a hand held up, "You've done your duty in scaring me. I know it's stupid. I need to stop it, don't I? I'll stop it."

"Uh, yeah," Liam said, looking relieved. He stood, ruffling Louis' hair and heading to the front door to collect his shoes. "I just don't want to see you hurt, Lou," he called. "If it got out of hand it would be messy for everyone involved."

And Louis knew he was right. Even entertaining the idea that Harry could be anything more to him than his teacher was ludicrous. It was far, far too risky, and he needed to stamp his attraction to Harry out before someone got hurt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a filler chapter, I suppose. But things will pick up!
> 
> Chapter title comes from Luna by Bombay Bicycle Club
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. this is how it starts

Harry was hiding.

He'd been fidgety in the car that morning and had barely spoken two words to Louis, taking it upon himself to crank the music up so loud that conversation was almost impossible. He'd then disappeared into the crowds in the college grounds before Louis could blink, and he hadn't seen him since.

Now, Louis wasn't stupid. Granted, he could be a bit slow on the uptake over some things, which Liam poked fun at him constantly for, but there were some things that were just too obvious to miss. Harry was on campus somewhere, but he was avoiding Louis' class, and Louis was pissed off because of it. He didn't know if his anger was entirely because Harry was deliberately missing his lessons, or if some of it was hurt disguised as anger. In any case, the knowledge that Harry felt like he couldn't come and talk to Louis about what was worrying him wasn't pleasant. 

He knew he was taking his bad mood out on the kids, which he felt slightly guilty for. When he finally dismissed his last class of the day they all looked highly relieved to get out of the studio and away from him, and Louis couldn't blame them. He packed up his bag and set off, determined to find Harry.

It didn't take long; he was in the first place Louis looked. Louis swung open the glass door to the dance studio, stepping inside and folding his arms across his chest. At first Harry didn't notice him, and Louis' anger was dampened a little at the sight of Harry looking so peaceful stretched out in front of the mirror, eyes closed where he sat on the floor, stretching his arms above his head.

"If you wanted to hide from me," he said loudly, ignoring Harry's squeak of surprise as he jumped, eyes flying open to look at Louis' reflection in the mirror, "You could have at least picked a less obvious place to do it."

He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, as Harry scrambled to his feet, eyes now fixed on the floor.

"Well?" Louis asked, still angry enough to put an effective hard edge to his voice. "I'm not going to let you skip my classes without an appropriate explanation. Technically, truanting is something that should be reported to the Dean."

At that Harry's eyes went wide. He began to wring his hands together, shaking his head frantically. "Please don't! You can't tell my parents!"

"I trusted you enough to let you out of class _once_ , and this is how you repay me? By taking advantage?" Louis knew he was being harsh on Harry, but he wanted him to feel as bad as Louis did, to justify his anger. He'd thought Harry trusted him enough to confide in him, and to have that thrown back in his face felt horrible.

Harry moved closer to him, just close enough to emphasise the height difference between them. It was only three inches or so, but it was enough that Louis had to tilt his chin up to meet his eyes. Harry had changed out of his uniform into his dancing clothes, a baggy white T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his shoulders and grey leggings, hair pulled away from his face with a navy bandana. A voice in the back of Louis' brain piped up, telling him that Harry looked good like that, but Louis shoved that thought away in a bid to stay focused on his anger. Anger was good, took up enough space in Louis' head that any other feelings for Harry couldn't get through.

"Please," Harry was imploring, green eyes wide, "I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't know _how_."

Louis tried to cling to his irritation, using it as a wall between the two of them. Harry's beseeching face was too much for it though, beginning knock down the wall brick by brick. Harrys lip wobbled, and that was it, Louis' anger was doused like a bucket of water being thrown over a lit match.

"Don't do it again," he said sternly, though he could hear the lack of heat in his voice. "Seriously. Next time, you come straight to me. Promise?"

"Promise," Harry nodded, looking very relieved. "Do you...do you want to see what I was doing?"

Liam's warning about not getting in too deep popped up in Louis' mind. He should say no, should turn on his heel and tell Harry to walk home that evening. Against his better judgement, he found himself nodding, dropping his bag to the floor and shedding his jacket. Harry had him sit on the piano stool, and went to fiddle with the stereo in the corner of the room. He pressed a button, and jogged to the centre of the floor, glancing over to Louis.

"It's still rough, I'm still practising," he told him nervously, arranging his limbs into his starting position.

Louis could hardly dare to believe Harry was so willing to dance with Louis sat in there with him. Maybe he had meant it, he thought, as the first chords of the [track](http://youtu.be/78oSuSMmFsE) filled the room, maybe Harry really did trust him. It was one thing to spy on him in the shadows without his knowledge, but something else entirely to be allowed to watch Harry up close as he did the thing he loved most in the world. Louis tried to keep as still as possible, not daring to move a muscle lest he throw off Harry's concentration.

It didn't seem to matter though; as soon as the music picked up Harry was lost to Louis. He could see it in Harry's eyes as he used the mirror to spot himself when he spun on the balls of one foot- all Harry knew then was the movement of his body and the music. Louis could only stare, mouth hanging open, at the strong lines of Harry's legs and his perfectly held arms. Goosebumps erupted over his skin, heat shot down his spine and made him weak at the knees. Liam's words were forgotten. Harry was fucking beautiful, and Louis was so far in over his head he saw no possible way out.

Harry stopped abruptly about half way through the song, falling out of hold and regaining his balance. His cheeks were flushed, forehead sweaty as he jogged back over to the stereo to shut off the music. Louis could smell the fresh sweat on him when he shuffled over to Louis and he breathed in deeply through his nose, trying to not look creepy while he did it.

"What do you think?" Harry tugged at his shirt self-consciously, "Like I said, it's rough, and unfinished, but..."

"Harry," Louis croaked, "That was amazing."

Harry lit up like the sun, his grin so wide it made Louis' chest ache. "Really?"

"Yeah," Louis said, feeling sweat prickle at the back of his own neck. He rested his linked fingers in his lap, subtly trying to hide his semi. His dick didn't seem to care if Harry was his student or not; it was definitely interested. His mind wandered accidentally to the tattoos he'd caught a glimpse of the first time he seen Harry dance. They'd probably taste salty if he licked them, he mused. His dick twitched at that, and Louis jerked in his seat, realising he was still nodding. "You're completely forgiven for missing class- that was incredible."

Harry's blush pinked even more, and Louis groaned internally. "Thanks."

Harry looked at him a little strangely then, and Louis shifted, clearing his throat. He knew he was a mess, flushed cheeks and body at a tense, awkward angle.

"Uh, so, why don't you warm down, and I'll, erm, go and get my stuff together, and then I'll meet you at the car, yeah?" Louis asked.

Thankfully, Harry nodded, turning away to reach for his towel that he'd left draped over the piano. Louis bolted off the chair, grabbing his jacket and holding his bag over his crotch.

"See you in a minute!" he cried, and darted out of the door.

Of all the times Louis had been proud of himself in his life, he could safely say that hiding in the staff toilets for a good five minutes, with a hand pressed to his crotch to get his hard on to go away, was not one of those times.

 

*****

 

"You alright, Lou?" Zayn called over to where Louis was stood at his locker, jamming random books into his bag. He and Niall sat at a table in the staffroom, both watching Louis with curious faces.

"You in a hurry or summat?" Niall asked. "You look a bit flustered."

It was a rare thing to see Niall out of his studio. In his breaks between lessons he could usually be found writing a new song, or doing one-on-one tuition sessions with a student, teaching them guitar, piano, drums...basically anything that could be found in a music room. He was the same age as Zayn and Louis, but he'd moved from Ireland at sixteen and trained at a different school to them. He'd gained his qualifications in music and teaching, and then got a place at the college straight out of uni. He was a bit like a hurricane; chaotic, never staying in the same place too long. His locker in the staffroom was always jammed with unopened letters, guitar picks, and random bits of stuff he found and never bothered to sort out.

Louis shut his locker door and heaved his bag onto the table where they sat, pulling at the material and tugging at the zip in an effort to get it to close. "Uh, yeah, kind of," he said vaguely, shrugging. "Got a lot of work to do for tomorrow."

"I know the feeling," Niall said sympathetically, "I've got seventh years tomorrow, they always want me to play them something new. _They_ should be playing the instruments, not me."

"Aw, humour them, Niall," Zayn said. "They'll boost your ego for you," he smiled sweetly, and got an elbow to the ribs for the trouble.

Louis snorted, giving the zip a final yank so it closed all the way. "Maybe you could get Zayn to do his Nicki Minaj rendition for your class, Niall," Louis suggested. "That would give _both_ your egos a boost."

"Hey!"

Louis' phone buzzed in his pocket, and he fished it out to see a text from Liam, asking when he was going to be home and if he wanted anything from the supermarket. Louis replied, telling him he didn't and that he'd back in an hour, and tucked his phone away again.

Zayn was watching him with beady eyes. "Was that Liam?"

"Ah, the famous Liam," Niall said, and Zayn elbowed him right back.

"I should probably be worried that you're checking up on who I'm texting, but I'll let it slide just this once," Louis sniffed. "Yes, it was."

"How is he?"

"Fine. Still single, if that's what you're getting at."

"I wasn't- I-"

"Uh huh, sure," Louis rolled his eyes. "You two are ridiculous."

"You are a bit," Niall said apologetically over Zayn's noises of indignation.

"See? Even Niall can see it," Louis said. "If you don't ask him out soon, I'm going to do it for you."

"No! You can't!"

"I'm pretty sure I can. I'm sick of watching you two dance around each other whenever we go out for a drink."

"Yeah," Niall nodded. "You like him, he likes you...what's the problem?"

Zayn floundered, mouth opening and closing as he tried to come up with an excuse.

Louis sighed, hefting his back onto his shoulder and adjusting the strap. "Niall, talk some sense into him, will you? I've got to get home."

 

*****

 

Harry was dutifully waiting for Louis in the car park, tea in hand as usual. Louis met his eyes and looked away quickly, cheeks heating at the thought of what he'd just had to do in the toilets.

Louis knew there was no going back for him now. He'd crossed some kind of invisible line that had altered the relationship between he and Harry for good, and Harry was still completely oblivious to it. Sweet, innocent, eighteen year old Harry had no idea that his twenty three year old drama teacher had just had to think about old people fucking to get rid of an erection that he'd unknowingly caused.

They'd throw the book at him if they knew, Louis thought.

All the way to Harry's home he kept glancing at Louis out of the corner of his eye, as if, Louis thought absurdly, as if he _knew_ what Louis had done. The sly glances he kept throwing his way put Louis off. The small smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth hinted, worryingly, that he suspected something.

The tension in the car could be cut with a knife. It was almost unbearable. Not even the soothing voice of Hozier could relax Louis, not when the object of his desires was sitting mere inches from him, long fingers idly fiddling with the volume and heat controls and glancing at Louis every five fucking seconds. It was driving Louis mad.

He parked a little way from Harry's house, content with Harry walking the rest of the way down the street seeing as it wasn't raining. Once the rumble of the engine had been shut off, leaving only the quiet sound of the radio, the tension only seemed to mount.

Just when Louis thought he could take it no longer, Harry spoke.

"Thanks for being so nice about today, I appreciate it."

"No problem at all," Louis said. Then he huffed a laugh, "If you skipping class means I get to watch you perform then I might make exceptions more often." He cringed, 'That sounded really creepy, didn't it? Sorry."

Harry laughed then, slow and deep, making something warm curl in the pit of Louis' stomach. "I don't mind," he said. "I liked you being there."

"Oh. Thanks, I guess." They fell silent. The radio paused, and then clicked over into a new [track](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmWbBUxSNUU). Louis could still see Harry watching him, saw him rub his palms on the front of his leggings. He reached across, as if to touch Louis' arm. And _no_ , that could _not_ happen.

"Don't," Louis said, gritting his teeth.

"You like me," Harry said softly. "Don't you." It wasn't a question.

"Harry, please-"

"I know you do. I'm not blind, Louis. I've seen the way you look at me."

"Go home, Harry," Louis begged, "Please- I can't."

Harry ignored him. "I like you, too."

"Oh, god."

Harry's hand met the sleeve of Louis' denim jacket, fingers brushing the skin of his wrist where the cuffs were rolled up. Louis' breath shuddered in his chest. His skin burned under Harry's fingertips.

"Harry," he breathed. "Please. Stop."

Instead Harry shifted in his seat, moving closer to Louis, leaning a little way across the gear stick. Louis couldn't help it, he looked across at him, heart hammering, inhaling sharply as he took in Harry's wide eyes, the straight line of his nose leading down to those utterly sinful lips. His eyes lingered on the dip of Harry's cupid's bow, the sight making Louis' mouth water. What he would give to just... _no_.

He snapped his gaze away, but not quick enough- Harry had seen him looking.

"I know what you're thinking," Harry said boldly, with only the slightest tremor to his voice. "I know what you're thinking, and I want you to do it."

"Oh, fuck," Louis choked. He clamped his hands to the thighs of his black jeans, pressing until his fingertips went white. Harry leaned closer. Louis turned his face too, unable to resist, drawn to him like a magnet. Harry was close, too close. Just a couple of inches and Louis could-

"Please," Louis whispered, feeling the last threads of his control slip from his grasp. "Go _home_."

Harry's tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and Louis whimpered.

"Do it," Harry urged softly. "Come _on_."

That did it. Something broke inside Louis, snapping what was left of his willpower. He lifted his left hand from his thigh and steadied Harry's chin between his fingers, holding him still so could lean forward and press his lips to Harry's. Harry whined, his own hand shooting up to grip Louis' wrist. Louis drew back, panting after only one kiss, and took control, angling his head to the right to kiss Harry again.

His blood rushed in his ears, roaring in his head and almost drowning out the little sounds of pleasure Harry was making, the sounds of their lips parting and fitting back together again. Louis lifted his other hand to cradle Harry's neck, coaxing Harry's lips open to gently lick inside, tasting, urging Harry to do the same back to him. Harry's lips were a little chapped, no doubt from the cold, and he still smelled faintly of sweat, though it actually wasn't unpleasant. The hand that wasn't holding Louis' wrist in a bruising grip reached over to rest on Louis' thigh, fingers splayed out. Louis could feel how long they were, how easily Harry's hand could engulf his leg, and felt his dick give an interested twitch.

That was enough to stop him.

"Harry," Louis said, pulling back with a hand to Harry's chest. "Wait."

Harry didn't reply, only moved his hand from Louis' leg to wrap it around the back of his neck and pull him in again, catching Louis' bottom lip between his own. Louis went with it for a moment, and then made himself pull back a second time.

"Easy, love," he murmured gently, resting his forehead to Harry's. He felt Harry smile, and couldn't stop his own lips twitching. "Harry Styles," he wondered, "You're not as innocent as you look, are you?"

Harry shrugged, a gentle lilt in his shoulders, and leaned in again. Louis stopped him, pressing a finger to his lips. "Ah. Lets not get carried away here."

Harry huffed, sitting back in his seat properly. "Fine." His eyes drifted across to linger on Louis' crotch before he snapped his gaze back in front of him, biting his reddened lips to contain his grin.

Louis felt the blood rush to his cheeks. "Get that smirk off your face, young Harold, and go home."

"My name's Harry."

"I said go home, _Harold_." Harry rolled his eyes but did as he was told, gathering up his bags. He paused with a hand on the door handle.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked, his sudden worried expression belying his casual words.

"You will." Louis nodded his assent, and Harry looked relieved. He leaned back over, fitting his mouth to Louis', resting a hand back on his thigh. Louis gave in, melting under his touch and stroking a hand through his hair, eliciting a happy hum that tickled Louis' lips.

"Go," Louis said against his mouth. "Tomorrow," he promised.

He watched Harry wave from his doorstep and started the engine, joining the traffic and heading for home. He drove home on autopilot, limbs remembering how to get him back to the apartment without much thought. All he could think of was the feel of Harry's mouth pressed to his, hot breath and chapped lips, soft hair and encouraging murmurs.

Louis parked outside the block of apartments and sat for a moment, trying to compose himself so Liam wouldn't take one look at him and know immediately what he'd just done. He arranged his hair, rubbed his hand over his mouth and straightened his jacket, looking over his reflection in the mirror until he was satisfied that he looked okay. He glanced at the clock on the dash as took off his seatbelt, quickly doing some maths in his head.

Fifteen hours until he could see Harry again. If he claimed that he wasn't already counting down the hours, then he was nothing but a filthy liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sticking with me! Comments and kudos are so welcome :)
> 
> Chapter title comes from Sex by The 1975.


	4. everything and more

Louis drove to Harry's the next morning with nerves bundled in the pit of his stomach. He'd managed to get three hours sleep out of a possible eight last night (five were spent either staring at the ceiling or tip toeing into the kitchen to make tea, praying that the boiling of the kettle wouldn't wake Liam), and now he was absolutely buzzing on caffeine, which was doing nothing to settle his nerves. His mind had been ticking over for most of the night, either replaying the feel of Harry's lips against his own or demanding to know what Louis had been thinking, waltzing around kissing his students like it was no big deal. Louis had no explanation, all he knew was that he wanted Harry, and Harry seemed to want him too. Louis couldn't think too hard about what that meant or he'd start feeling the early stages of panic prickling at the back of his neck.

The boy in question, bless him, was already waiting for Louis at the end of his driveway when he pulled up outside his house. He waited for Louis to stop, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and then threw himself inside, grinning madly.

"Hey," Louis said. "All right?"

"Yeah, thanks," Harry replied, and then hesitated, "Um."

"What?"

Harry’s cheeks pinked, he fumbled with his bag on his lap. "Could I...can I have a kiss?"

Louis let out a relieved huff, tension melting out of his shoulders. "Definitely. Ged’ere."

Harry actually _giggled_ , leaning over to grab the collar of Louis’ jacket and using it to haul him in. Louis settled his hands on Harry’s waist, gripping the material of his blazer in his fists as Harry pressed their lips together. He smelled like freshly washed boy and aftershave, and Louis inhaled deeply, catching a faint hint of something sweet that must have come from Harry’s shampoo. He swiped his tongue over Harry’s lips, asking for entry that he readily granted, and tasted toothpaste as his tongue touched Harry’s.

"Hmn," he hummed appreciatively when Harry pulled back, coaxing the boy back into for one final peck before Harry sat back in his seat, fumbling with his seat belt. "Good morning."

"Morning," Harry said, lips already a lovely pink colour. He waited for Louis to start driving before reaching across and resting his hand halfway up Louis’ thigh. "Is this okay?" he asked.

"Absolutely," Louis nodded, slightly embarrassed over how right Harry’s hand on him like that felt. He held it there lightly, just the right amount of pressure for Louis to feel it shifting when he moved his leg as he switched gears. "About last night," Louis broached carefully when they were halfway to the college. "I know, like, we kissed again just then, or whatever," he licked his lips nervously, "But I just wanted to be sure that you’re okay? That you don’t think I’m, I dunno, taking advantage, or something?"

Harry was quiet for a moment, though he did take his hand off Louis’ leg the closer they got to the college. Louis found himself missing its presence immediately. " _Are_ you taking advantage of me?" he asked.

"Fuck, _no_."

Harry shrugged. "Then I have nothing to worry about, do I? I asked you to kiss me last night…was I taking advantage of _you_?"

"Of course not, Harry," Louis said patiently. "But I want you to be sure. This…" he waved a hand between them, "Whatever it is…it's risky. I know you know that, I know you’re not stupid. What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that we need to be on the same page. If we’re gonna do this."

"I’m still not sure what you’re trying to say," Harry said, and Louis made a frustrated sound. He looked in his rearview mirror and indicated, pulling into the college car park and heading through to the staff area. "But no, you didn’t take advantage, yes I know it’s risky and we need to be careful, and…yeah, _yes_ , I want this."

Louis cut off the engine, looked around to check the coast was clear before picking up Harry’s hand and pressing a kiss to his palm. "Thank you," he said, relieved. "That was exactly what I needed to hear."

Harry twitched at the tickle of Louis’ lips brushing at his palm, and grinned disarmingly. Louis’ heart swelled in his chest at the sight. "I’ll see you in class, then?" he asked, gently pulling his palm away and unbuckling his seat belt. Louis nodded, and watched as Harry walked away, looking back over his shoulder at Louis until he was inside the building.

Louis drifted in after him, feeling almost weightless as he put his bag in his locker in the staffroom and made his way to his first class. Though he was suffering from a huge lack of sleep and felt like he could probably keel over and sleep for a day or two, he was upbeat with his students, conducting his lessons with an energy that was fuelled from the knowledge that it wasn’t long before he’d see Harry again.

He had twelfth year Shakespeare after lunch, and he sat in the staffroom, not touching his food, willing the time to go faster. Whether it was from lack of sleep or something else, Louis didn't know, but he was giddy, head in the clouds. He'd kissed Harry. Harry had been so sure of him that he'd pushed until he'd gotten what he wanted. And...that was big. Even more than that, Louis knew Harry hadn't had any boyfriends before. If things went well he might be allowed to be Harry first everything...first blowjob, first handjob. First _time_.

Louis shut that train of thought off before it could get out of hand and put him in an embarrassing situation in a room full of his colleagues. He didn't know if Harry wanted that, or if he was ready for it, but Louis knew instinctively that if or when the time came, Harry would get the best first time possible. Louis' first time with a guy had been a drunken mistake with one of his friends in college- he was determined that Harry wouldn't have that. Harry didn't deserve hurried and fumbled and painful in the dark. He deserved slow, steady and gentle in a comfortable bed with the lights on.

Firmly pushing any thoughts of Harry spread out naked and coming undone under Louis' fingertips from his mind, Louis stood, making his way to the drama studios over the opposite side of campus. When he arrived a couple of minutes early, Harry was already there, along with Tia and Amy, who were chatting quietly at the front of the class. Harry beamed at him, all teeth, and Louis smiled back, greeting the girls as he made his way to his desk.

He set down his lesson folder and turned to the board, pulling out a marker and scribbling 'SONNETS' across the top of it before turning and sitting behind his desk. Sat in the middle of it was a takeaway cup from the cafe, steam swirling gently out of the hole in the lid. Louis reached for it, peeling off the lid and smelling tea. He took a sip nonchalantly, then re-covered the top and set it down. Glancing up from under his eyelashes, he shot a knowing smile at Harry, who beamed in return, tilting his head as if to say _you're welcome_.

Gradually the class filled up, and Louis watched them all settle in, slowly drinking his tea and occasionally locking eyes with Harry, who grinned each and every time Louis made eye contact with him.

"Right!" Louis called, clapping his hands together sharply and waiting until all eyes were on him. "Shakespeare's sonnets! What do we know about them?"

Harry was, as usual, quiet and unwilling to offer his knowledge, though Louis would bet Harry knew a great deal about sonnets. He went round the class gradually, jotted down suggestions on the board as they went, adding his own details here and there.

"Thats really, good, guys," he said when he ran out of room to write, stepping back from the board to admire their work. "Does anyone know any sonnets off the top of their heads?"

"Only the famous ones," Adam/Aaron (as Louis had dubbed him) said from the back of the room. " _Shall I compare thee to a summers' day?_ ''

" _Thou art more lovely and more temperate_ ," Louis quoted back at him. "Good!" He began walking up and down the rows of students, only hesitating at Harry's desk long enough for the boy to notice and look up at him. Louis didn't make eye contact, just began walking down the next row. "Why is it so famous?"

"Everyone knows it- it's a love poem," Tia piped up. "One of the best there is. It's about his lover, he's describing his love for them. Everyone can relate to that."

"Uh huh. Is there anything different about it, though?" Louis hopped up onto his desk, swinging his feet. 'Is it as straightforward as that?"

No hands rose.

"Does anyone know who the sonnet is addressed to?"

A few people shifted in their seats like they wanted to say something, but no one was brave enough. 

Louis gave in. "That particular sonnet, as are most of Shakespeare's sonnets, actually, is addressed to a man."

Some students nodded in agreement, and others looked stunned, eyes wide. Harry looked interested, flicking through the book in front of him until he found the page with that particular sonnet on.

"Shakespeare was gay?" Adam/Aaron asked, and Louis shrugged.

"Possibly. Bisexual, most likely. We'll never know for sure. Is anyone willing to read that particular sonnet out for us?"

He looked pointedly a Harry, but Harry just stared back, shaking his head from side to side with tiny, frantic motions. Louis averted his gaze, secretly disappointed, and picked someone else.

 

*****

 

"I was hoping you'd read the sonnet to me," Louis confessed on the drive home.

Harry's bag was on his lap, hand securely back on Louis' leg. Louis was trying not to think too hard about how couple-y they were being already, given that they'd kissed for the first time only twenty four hours ago. Harry's palm just felt so good on his thigh, though, the warmth from his hand seeping through to Louis' skin, and Louis didn't want to ruin that by over thinking.

"Sorry," Harry sounded upset. "I wanted to, but I just couldn't, not when I know they'd all laugh at me."

Something fierce and protective stung at Louis' chest, and he dropped his hand off the wheel to lay it over Harry's, stroking his skin reassuringly. "Don't worry about it, maybe some other time. How was rehearsal?"

"Great," Harry brightened, launching into a spiel of his new routine and how he was already planning something for the end of year show. Louis moved his hand back to the wheel, indicating and turning left as he listened to Harry's excited chatter. If only Harry wasn't so afraid of showing that same passion in class, he thought, he would excel on every type of stage.

They pulled up to Harry's house, and Harry unclipped his seatbelt before turning his body to face Louis. When Louis had cut off the engine he faced Harry too, watching him nibble at his bottom lip nervously.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Course, it's just. My parents aren't home...they won't be back 'til later...do you want to come in?"

Louis' throat was suddenly dry. "Sure."

He locked the car behind him and together they walked up the garden path. Louis followed Harry, gaze running the length of him, from his hair curling around the nape of his neck to his broad shoulders to a bum that looked perfect in his uniform, down insanely long legs in tight black trousers that clung to his thighs. He knew already that going into Harry house where it was just the two of them alone was going to seriously test his ability to keep his hands to himself.

Harry shut the front door behind them and dropped his keys into a bowl on a table by the door. He lead Louis through what was a perfectly lovely house, neat and tidy and furnished in creams and soft, neutral colours, to a kitchen where there was a breakfast bar with three high seats behind it. The room was decorated in black and white, white cabinets and dark countertops that Harry dropped his bag on, shrugging off his blazer and hanging it on one of the stools. He looked about as nervous as Louis felt.

"Tea?" he asked, and Louis nodded, seating himself on one of the stools. He watched Harry putter around, pulling two mugs down from a cabinet over his head and filling the kettle from the tap. He made Louis' tea exactly how Louis liked it, and then came around the bar to place it in front of Louis with a soft clink.

"Thanks, love," Louis said, and Harry smiled, cradling his own mug in his hands. Louis reached out to him, tugging him closer by his tie and opening his legs so Harry stood between his thighs, tea held out carefully to the side. At this angle he was quite a bit taller than Louis, but Louis found he didn't mind- it was hardly a hardship, having Harry grinning down at him bashfully, free hand resting on Louis' shoulder.

Louis linked his fingers together at the small of Harry's back. "Where are your parents, then?" he asked, cringing a little at how teacher-like he sounded.

"Dad's away on a conference for a couple of days, and Mum's going straight from work to dinner with some friends. They won't be back for hours yet."

"Huh. So what do you propose we do with all that time, then?" Louis smirked, a teasing lilt to his voice.

He wasn't expecting Harry to boldly say, "I can think of a couple of things," then set his tea and down and wrap both arms around Louis' shoulders. He lowered his head and Louis surged up to meet him, tightening his hands at Harry's back as their lips met. Louis hadn't noticed Harry's inexperience yesterday, but now he felt it in the little things, in Harry's hesitancy and in the way he blindly followed Louis' lead. He more than made up for it in enthusiasm, though, sliding a hand into Louis' hair and emitting tiny little noises against Louis' lips.

Louis could feel his hips shifting, pressing them closer together, felt his kisses turn a little needy. He reached up and cupped Harry's jaw, slowing him down. Harry followed, gradually releasing his death grip on Louis' shoulder and relaxing into him. His lips parted invitingly, and Louis took the bait, tongue stroking over Harry's bottom lip and then dipping inside to taste him. Harry's hips shifted again and Louis winced, knowing that if he kept doing that things were going to get out of control far too quickly.

When Harry's hand slipped inside the front of Louis' jacket, moving to push it off his shoulder, Louis broke off, pulling back and staring up at Harry. He looked delicious, hair all out of place, lips kissed red and eyes bright as they glinted down at him.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" he asked breathlessly.

"What?!" Louis yelped. "No!"

Immediately he could see he'd been too harsh. He saw a mixture of hurt and rejection cross Harry's face before his expression shut down completely and he made to pull away.

"No, wait," Louis said, keeping a firm hold of the boy in his arms as he fussed, refusing to meet his eyes. "Harry, _stop_."

He did stop then, going lax in Louis' arms. He had his head down, and Louis could have sworn he saw Harry's bottom lip tremble through the curtain of hair that covered his face.

"Listen to me," Louis said gently. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. You took me by surprise, that's all."

"You don't want me," Harry said pitifully, and Louis shook his head, gathering him close and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Are you kidding?" he asked, "Harry, you have no idea how much I want you."

Harry peeked up, still frowning. "Then why don't you want to...you know?"

"I do. Honestly," Louis nodded, urging Harry to believe him. "But we're going to take things slowly, Harry. No jumping into bed at a moments' thought, no matter how worked up we get. We've got all the time in the world...there's no rush."

"But I want...I just want to be good for you," Harry mumbled.

Louis groaned, pulling Harry closer even as heat flared in the pit of his stomach. "You will be, believe me, no matter when it happens. And I want to make it good for you, too. You're something else, Harry Styles, and you deserve the absolute best."

Harry leaned back in, the relief evident in his voice even as he pressed his lips back to Louis'. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," Louis nudged his nose to Harry's before pulling back, reaching for his tea. He took a sip, smiling over the rim of the mug at Harry. "Now, what're we gonna do? Film?"

"Okay," Harry said, picking up his own mug and tangling his fingers with Louis'. He lead him to a large chocolate brown leather sofa in the living room. Louis took his mug from him and sat as Harry moved to a pile of DVDs in the corner of the by the tv.

"Guess what I have," Harry said.

"What?" Harry picked up a case, waving it at Louis. "Ah, _10 Things I Hate About You_."

"Can we watch it? You can ogle Heath Ledger again."

"Well, when you put it like that, how can I say no?" Louis shrugged. Harry put the DVD in and reached for the remote, hurrying back over to Louis and gingerly sitting down next to him so he didn't jog the tea Louis was still holding. Louis handed his mug back and then stretched his arm out. "Come here, then," he said, and Harry smiled, tucking himself into Louis side as the film began.

"You'll have to come over to mine," Louis said, rubbing a thumb over Harry's bicep, "Liam's got all the Batman films, Heath Ledger is amazing in them."

He felt Harry tense under his arm. "Who's Liam?"

"My flatmate. Best friend for years," Louis rolled his lips into his mouth to stop himself from smirking when Harry relaxed again. "He's got hundred of DVDs."

"What's your favourite?"

" _Grease_ ," Louis said without even thinking about it, "And I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've played Danny twice- once in school and then again while I was in uni."

"That's so cool...bet you were brilliant."

"I wasn't so bad," Louis nudged him playfully, "I've got a couple of shows taped, I'll show you them."

"I'd love that," Harry told him, "I'm a sucker for musicals."

"You have a favourite?"

" _Billy Elliot_."

"Ah," Louis nodded. He pressed a kiss to Harry's hair absent-mindedly. "No surprise there."

"Ha ha," Harry said. "I can relate...my family have given up a lot to get me where I am."

"Proper little Billy then, aren't ya?"

"Shut up," Harry tilted his head up, pushing his mouth on to Louis' and preventing Louis from retorting. Louis let his eyes close, fingers winding themselves through Harry's hair and scratching at his scalp gently. Harry sighed, body leaning fully against Louis as he settled back down to watch the film, Louis' fingers still tangled in his hair.

Halfway through, Harry's breathing slowed to deep, even breaths, snuffling against Louis' shoulder. Louis plucked his empty mug from his fingers gently, setting it next to his own on the table at the end of the sofa. He let Harry sleep, half watching the rest of the film and half watching Harry. He looked younger when he slept, features relaxed and untroubled, body soft. It was difficult to believe that the boy who had so brazenly asked Louis if he wanted to have sex earlier was this same innocent, cuddly boy lying on his shoulder. It was all Louis could do not to slide down, tug Harry fully into his arms and drift off with him.

The thought that Harry's mum might get home and discover her son lying on his drama teachers' chest was enough to squash that thought.

When the ending credits rolled Louis shifted, gently shaking Harry until he opened bleary eyes.

"It's getting late, love. I need to go," he murmured.

"M'kay," Harry stretched, raising his arms above his head and letting out an huge yawn. "I'll walk you out."

"No, no, you stay here," Louis extricated himself from under Harry and manoeuvred him so he was lying sideways on the sofa. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah..." Louis leaned over him, pressing a kiss to Harry's lips, the boy already half asleep again. He turned the tv off and put their mugs in the kitchen sink, and then let himself out.

 

*****

 

The night had long since fallen by the time Louis got in. He turned the key in the door, welcoming the rush of warm air and the smell of Liam cooking as he stepped inside their apartment. He shucked off his shoes and hung up his jacket, heading through to the kitchen.

"Hey, Lou. You're back late," Liam commented as Louis sat up on the work surface, immediately getting in the way.

"Work," Louis shrugged. "Something smells good, what is it?"

"Lasagne. It'll be five minutes."

"Sounds great. How was your day?"

"Eh, same old. We had some guy come into the shop asking about protein powder, but he was so big already there was no way he needed it. His biceps were bigger than my head, I swear. I wasn't gonna tell him he couldn't buy any, though. I quite like my balls where they are, thanks very much."

Louis snorted. "Scared, were you?"

"Yeah I was, mate. Never seen muscles like that."

"Except on me, of course," Louis said, lifting his right arm and flexing his bicep. Liam rolled his eyes and leaned over, feeling the muscle through his shirt.

"Yeah," he deadpanned. "Huge."

Louis watched Liam get everything ready and followed him through to the living room, sniffing the air appreciatively. They sat and ate on the sofa together in front of some talent show on the tv, occasionally breaking the comfortable silence to laugh at some of the contestants and yell at the screen, blatantly disagreeing with the celebrity judges. When they were done Louis leaned back, content. The day was beginning to catch up on him, his body reminding him of his lack of sleep. Warm and full of food, he began to drift, closing his eyes and only half-listening to the tv.

"Lou?" Liam said quietly, and Louis turned his head towards Liam, eyes still closed, to show he was listening. Just in the one word Liam had spoken, though, Louis could tell he was going to say something he knew Louis wouldn't like.

"Whassup?" Louis asked him, cracking his eyes open. Liam was sat facing him, expression troubled.

"Nothing, really," Liam replied, but it was unconvincing.

Louis heaved himself up to a sitting position again. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. "It's something, Li."

Liam sighed, "Look, Louis, you’re my best friend, and all I ever want to do is look out for you..."

Dread filled Louis' chest. He was suddenly wide awake, heart thudding. 'I know,' he said.

"But, I was just wondering, that's all, just thinking. You were home late today, and you don't usually work this late. And with what you told me about that student that you liked...well..." Liam trailed off.

Louis swallowed. "Well what?"

"Are you going to make me spell it out?"

"Yeah, I am." Louis let the tension seep into his voice, making his words short and clipped. "Because I don’t know exactly what you’re accusing me of, Liam, and I want to hear you say it."

Guilt flashed across Liam's face, and Louis immediately felt terrible.

"I'm sorry," Liam hurried to get out. "But I was just wondering, you know what I'm like, I jump to conclusions. I know you wouldn't do anything like that, but I just wanted to be sure-"

Louis slumped into the cushions, feeling like the worst person in the world. "No, Li, it's alright. Don't freak out...I really was working late."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, don't worry." Louis clapped him on the shoulder and then picked up their plates, all too eager for an escape. "Thanks for dinner- I'll wash these up," he called over his shoulder.

Liam followed him, though, sitting on the counter next to the sink.

"How's Zayn?" he asked timidly, and Louis sighed.

"Fine. Still single. Still wants in your pants."

"Louis!"

"What?!" Louis flicked bubbles at Liam, who swatted them away, cheeks pink. "It's the truth! Just tell him you like him more than Jay Z likes Beyonce, and that you want to see his Super Bass rendition, and he'll have his legs on your shoulders faster than you can say 'power couple.'

Liam looked scandalised. "I can't do that!"

"Sure you can. Just do _something_ before I do it for you."

Liam spluttered at him, but Louis was done. He was exhausted, sexually frustrated from having to deal with an eager and willing Harry earlier, and frankly, he'd had enough of having to be the responsible one for one day. He just wanted a shower and a wank, and then to collapse into bed and sleep for twelve hours.

He left Liam in the kitchen, muttering about dark eyes and tattoos, and went to do just that. It didn't take long to get himself off; he just had to think about Harry's lips and hands and body against his and he was already halfway there. He came quickly, almost embarrassingly so, and then just stood under the spray until he deemed himself clean enough. He didn't bother getting dressed again, just dried himself off with a towel and chucked it in the hamper before striding, naked as the day he was born, to his room.

The darkness swallowed him as soon as his head touched the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos welcome, as always :)
> 
> Chapter title comes from 'Yours' by Ella Henderson.


	5. your words, my mouth

Louis stumbled into the staff room the next day at lunch and collapsed into one of the armchairs in the corner, shrugging his jacket off and hanging it over one of the arms. The day had been exhausting already, and it was barely midday. His ninth years had been little shits, refusing to work properly and causing havoc in the studio, and Louis had been so sick of them he'd let them leave early, not even attempting to set any homework. Honestly, he'd thought with the amount their parents were paying to keep them at the college they'd _want_ to learn.

Louis tipped his head back, closing his eyes for a moment. At least he had his twelfth years next, at least Louis could talk to _them_ like adults...at least there was Harry. But even the thought of Harry, after the conversation he'd had with Liam last night, only made Louis wish for the day to be over faster.

He knew he'd been off with Harry that morning. He knew by the expression on Harry's face that his kiss hadn't been as warm as usual, that his leg had been stiff under Harry's hand. The conversation between them had been comfortable, as it usually was, but whenever Harry touched him, leaned in close, Louis had just felt guilty for lying to his best friend and he'd shied away. They'd separated, Harry going one way and Louis the other, Harry looking upset and Louis with a heavy weight in his stomach. Maybe he'd pick up a coffee for him and get to class early to put it on his desk to say sorry.

Zayn sat in the chair next to him, unwrapping a sandwich. Louis was hungry, but the smell of food just made him feel nauseous and he clamped his lips shut against the rolling of his stomach.

"Everything alright, Lou?"

Louis opened his eyes, forcing himself to relax and smile, "Yeah course, bit of a shitty morning, that's all."

"Hm, I know what you mean. A couple of my kids have been a bit off today, can't concentrate."

Louis hummed in agreement, "At least I've got twelfth years next."

"Yeah. Twelfth years, huh? Um, Lou..."

Louis sat up straighter, looking at Zayn carefully. "..What?" he said slowly.

Zayn fidgeted, pushing his hair back from his forehead and grimacing. "I just wanted to talk to you about something."

Louis' stomach dropped through to his feet. He swallowed heavily. "What?"

"Just something I thought I saw earlier... one of the twelfth years- Harry Styles. I saw him getting out of your car this morning. I just wanted to see if everything was okay?"

"Yeah," Louis nodded, eyes darting around the staffroom, all too conscious that there were other teachers within earshot. He lowered his voice, "Yeah, I drove past him on the way here, he had a couple of heavy bags and he looked like he was struggling so I offered him a lift."

"Oh," Zayn nodded and took a bite of his sandwich. Louis tapped his fingers on the side of the armchair in an uneven rhythm, all too conscious of Zayn's eyes burning into the side of his head. "Louis, I don't wanna like, nag you or anything, but it's not exactly...appropriate to have a student in your car, not when it's the two of you alone..."

"Oh god, I know!" Louis' laugh was far too loud. A couple of teachers looked their way curiously. "Yeah, of course I know that, it was just a one off."

"'Course," Zayn smiled, though it didn't look convincing.

"I was talking to Liam," Louis blurted, and Zayn's troubled expression melted away instantly. Louis gave an internal sigh of relief. "He asked me for your number."

Zayn's eyes grew wide. "He did?"

"Er, yeah. I'm guess you don't mind that I gave it to him. I'm surprised he hasn't texted you yet."

Zayn immediately dug in his pocket for his phone, clicking it on. "Nothing. Did you give him the right number?" he demanded.

"'Course I did. Er, he asked me to ask you to meet him at that...new bar...in town. At eight. On Friday."

"Seriously?" Zayn said faintly, "Like a date?"

"Definitely a date." Louis smiled and stood, clapping a slightly dazed Zayn on the shoulder. "Told you he was keen,"

"Keen," Zayn repeated, and visibly swallowed.

Louis nodded and took a couple of steps away, "So shall I tell him yes?"

'Yes!" Zayn blurted, "God, yes!"

"Ooh, _keen_ ," Louis teased, and watched Zayn's cheeks heat. "I'll tell him."

He left the other boy in the armchair, staring into space, and made a sharp getaway.

 

*****

 

He didn't get Harry a coffee, too freaked out to do anything but head straight to the drama studio. The words 'too close for comfort' seemed far too apt, and Louis knew it was entirely his fault. They hadn't been careful enough, Louis had got too lost in Harry already and had let his guard down, and now he'd have Zayn and Niall watching them all the time, suspicious of his every move. Hell, he'd definitely have to stop seeing Harry in the dance studio, and there would be no way he could drive Harry to school and back anymore.

Harry was already in class, as Louis suspected he would be, as were a couple of others. Louis couldn't bring himself to look at him, and just set his bag behind his desk and sat down, keeping his gaze lowered to the table under the pretence of sorting some papers out. The lesson dragged, and Louis set them individual projects so he was able to sit behind his desk and avoid most forms of communication. When class ended he saw Harry out of the corner of his eye packing up deliberately slowly, lingering behind his classmates, so he finally relented.

"Harry?" he said, just as the last few students left the classroom. "Can I have a word, please?"

Harry shuffled forward slowly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. When they were alone, Louis sat on the edge of his desk and folded his arms across his chest.

"What did I do?" Harry asked, looking more and more upset at the palpable tension between them. "You were really weird this morning and just then you couldn't even _look_ at me. I thought we were okay. Do you...do you not want to do this anymore?"

Louis groaned in defeat, shaking his head slowly. He reached out to tug Harry closer, the urge to comfort larger than the fear of being caught. He stood and wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders, and the boy crumpled into Louis, breath leaving him in long, shaky breaths.

"We're okay," Louis reassured, rubbing a hand up and down his spine. "We're fine. It's nothing you did, it's all on me, I swear." He pulled back, reaching up to cup Harry's cheek, run the pad of his thumb under his eye. "Last night Liam questioned where I'd been cos I was back so late, and then this morning Zayn cornered me in the staff room and told me he saw you getting out of my car earlier."

Harry's eyes widened, he reached out grab Louis' hand from his cheek. "Oh god. It's my fault, I'm so sorry. I should have been more careful."

"It's all right," Louis soothe. "I told him I'd just done you a favour and that it was a one off...I just freaked out a bit. And I hate lying to people. We've gotta be more careful, love."

"We will be," Harry said determinedly.

"I mean it, no more dropping you off in school, no more sitting in the dance studio with you, and you've got to stop bringing me tea, too."

Harry looked crestfallen, but he nodded his acceptance nonetheless. Louis squeezed his arm and then put some distance between them, moving to put his jacket on.

"We can still drive together though, can't we?" Harry asked, "You could just drop me a little way from the school gates and I can walk in."

Louis considered it, "Not a bad idea, actually. Okay, text me where you are and I'll come find you."

The text came when Louis was hanging around in the mostly empty staffroom at the end of the day. He'd been watching the tv for fifteen minutes when his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he picked himself up and ambled slowly to his car. He tried not to look shifty, but he did glance over his shoulder a couple of times on the way, only relaxing when he was making his way out of the school gates.

Harry was waiting for him about ten minutes into the journey, leaning against a fence down a little side street. Louis looked in his mirrors as Harry slid in, checking they weren't being followed. He was being overly paranoid, he knew, but Zayn's disapproving stare was still in the back of his mind. Being overly cautious wouldn't hurt if it meant he and Harry stayed hidden.

Harry, though, didn't seem to have that problem. As soon as his seat belt was clicked in he was leaning across to press his lips to Louis', lingering there with a hand on Louis' neck. Louis couldn't help but kiss him back, letting his eyes close and some of the tension to melt out of his shoulders. Harry pulled back with a smile but didn't say anything, just flicked the radio to a station he liked and settled back in his seat, facing the road ahead with a determined set to his jaw. His hand came to rest on Louis' thigh, higher up then usual, a possessive and reassuring weight on his leg.

"Are your parents home?" Louis asked when they pulled up outside Harry's house.

Harry shook his head. Wordlessly Louis took the keys out of the ignition and followed Harry to the front door, walking close enough behind him that the material of his blazer brushed Louis' arm. His skin was beginning to feel itchy, a little too warm, and Louis felt like he wanted to climb out of it, shed off his responsibilities along with it. Harry was fumbling with his house keys, breath hitching when Louis pressed himself up against his back and nuzzled at the nape of his neck. Louis blew softly at the skin there and watched in satisfaction when Harry shivered in response, finally jamming the key in the door and turning it.

Louis piled them both inside, kicking the door shut behind them and pushing Harry up against the back of it to claim his mouth, swallowing his little sound of surprise. He held Harry's waist, felt arms slide around his shoulders and pull him closer so their bodies were pressed flushed together as Harry responded eagerly. Louis slid a hand round to Harry's front, up the outside of his shirt, feeling the hard muscle of his abs through it, all the way up to cup his jaw. He tilted his head to the left and Harry answered, parting his lips for Louis to lick inside.

Louis' moved his hand from Harry's jaw to wind his fingers into Harry's hair, tangling the digits through the longish strands. Louis tugged experimentally and Harry _keened_ into the kiss, whimpering around Louis' lips, fingers digging into his shoulders so hard it should have been painful. Louis pulled back abruptly, looking down. He quirked an eyebrow back up at Harry at the bulge he saw in the front of his trousers. Harry's already pink cheeks reddened further, almost matching the colour of his lips.

"Like having your hair pulled, do you?"

"Shut up," Harry breathed, pupils dilated. "Please, Lou. _Please_."

Louis bit his lip, torn. Harry reached for him, pulling him back in to kiss him, slower this time, sweeter. "We're not going too fast," he implored when they parted again, "I want to, I swear."

Louis didn't know how he was supposed to say no to that. All he knew was Harry in front of him, hard in his boxers and begging Louis to take care of him.

He pulled on Harry's tie, walking them through to the living room. Harry was kissing him with a new eagerness now he knew Louis had given in, happy little murmurs leaving his lips. Louis lowered him down on the sofa, stretching him out sideways. He reached for his tie only to find Harry already there, starting on the buttons of his shirt. Louis fiddled with his belt buckle, finally getting the button of Harry's trousers open and sliding them down, yanking them off his feet and dropping them to the floor.

Harry had given up trying to get his shirt off; it was just hanging open, baring his torso. Louis looked over him, taking in the planes of smooth, pale skin. He ran his eyes across him, from his toned stomach, over that impressive bulge, down to the dusting of soft hair on his thighs.

Harry reached out, tugging at Louis' jacket. "Off."

Louis complied, leaving the rest of his clothes and dropping to his knees beside the sofa. He leaned in to kiss him, drawing a long sigh from Harry. "Ready?" he asked.

Harry just nodded, tugging his bottom lip into his mouth as Louis began pressing open mouth kisses down his chest, pausing to flick his tongue at a nipple, and kept going down, over his sternum, nipping at the skin of his belly button, making Harry's hips twitch. He grazed his teeth along the trail of hair that lead to down to the waistband of his boxers.

Harry's chest was heaving already, the blush spreading from his cheeks down his neck. He looked so good, spread out for Louis, responding so beautifully to his every touch. His hands clenched at nothing, fingers slipping on the leather of the sofa. Louis shifted down his body, leaning down to suck a purple mark into Harry's hipbone, licking over the spot and sitting back to admire it.

"Please..."

Louis smirked, taking pity on him and pulling his boxers down in one swift movement. His cock was so hard, an angry red, liquid already beading at the tip. Louis licked his palm, gathered up the precome and glided his hand up and down couple of times, testing Harry's reaction.

" _Shit_ ," Harry choked, tilting his hips up.

"Good?" Louis shifted back up to kiss Harry loosely, moving his hand a little faster. Harry panted into his mouth, straining to keep their lips pressed together. The muscles in his stomach flexed with his breaths. His hand clamped around Louis' bicep, fingers pressing into his flesh.

Louis bit Harry's bottom lip, swiping his tongue over it before letting it go and hovering over him, not quite kissing, just sharing air between them. The twitches of Harry's hips became more erratic, his breathing left him in shuddering gasps. Louis kept his hand around him, slowing to swipe his thumb over the head.

"You're nearly there, aren't you," he murmured close in Harry's ear, grinning at his answering whimpers. "So close..."

"Louis!" Harry squeaked. His fingers dug into Louis' arm, hard. His toes curled, back arching as he came into Louis' hand. He shivered, head tipped back as he rode his orgasm out, the grip on Louis arm lessening.

"Thank you," he was muttering. "Thank you thank you thank you."

Louis leaned away, finding Harry's discarded trousers to wipe his hand off on, making a mental note to throw them in the wash before he left. Pulling Harry's boxers back up, he shuffled over to Harry, still on his knees, nudging the deadweight of the other boy so Louis could lie on the sofa next to him. Harry cuddled close, soft and blissed out. Louis' own cock throbbed painfully in his jeans. He considered running to the bathroom to finish himself off, but Harry's arm around his shoulders constricted him, keeping him close.

He shifted, wincing when he brushed against Harry's hip, and Harry looked down at him curiously, eyes widening when he realised. "Oh shit, sorry. Erm, let me-"

"You don't have to," Louis told him, though he really wished he would. "I'm absolutely fine if you don't feel ready. No pressure." Harry eyed his crotch for a moment, then nodded to himself and reached to undo the button on Louis' jeans, slipping a hand inside. Louis could only lay there, hands resting on Harry's chest as a warm, surprisingly large hand enclosed his cock, giving it a couple of gentle, cautious tugs.

Louis already knew he wasn't going to last. Not when innocent little Harry, biting his lip, dry palm on him, was concentrating so hard on getting him off. It was a bit too dry, but Louis didn't mind, just the image of Harry's hand in his boxers was already too much. He came quickly, though he couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed, with Harry's name on his lips.

He immediately yanked Harry down, kissing him deeply, all tongue, pouring everything he couldn't say into it, gratitude and need and want and hunger. Harry idly wiped his hand on his shirt, grinning widely and flopping down next to Louis again. He buried in close, his head on Louis' chest, virtually purring. Louis scratched his nails through Harry's hair, and let himself drift, focusing on nothing but the even rhythm of Harry's breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Yay handjobs!
> 
> Chapter title comes from Settle Down by The 1975.


	6. don't ever look back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major fluff ahead. Fair warning.

"He wants to what?!"

"Meet you," Louis repeated nonchalantly, lifting the kettle to pour water into his mug on the kitchen counter. "At the bar in town, at eight, on Friday. That's what he told me to tell you."

Liam still stared. "He said that?"

"Yep."

"Like...like a _date_?"

"Exactly like a date." Louis fished out the teabag and chucked it into the bin. He turned, cradling his tea in his palms, and regarded Liam over the top of his glasses. "You ought to text him, say you're looking forward to seeing him or something."

"Yeah..." Liam fumbled for his phone, pulling it out of his pocket. "...I don't have his number."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Gimme," he said, holding out an expectant palm for Liam's phone. He copied the number over, then opened up a new message, handing it back to Liam. "There."

"I don't wanna sound like a twat, though. Help me, Lou," Liam implored, "What do I say?"

"Christ," Louis set his tea down on the side with a clink, "It doesn't matter what you say, he'll be happy to hear from you whatever."

"He will?"

"'Course. Just ask him how his day's going...tell him you're looking forward to Friday."

"Will I sound too keen?"

Louis gave a long suffering sigh. "What is it with being keen? I'm not sure there even is such a thing as being too keen when it comes to you two. It's a bit sickening, If I'm honest."

"Lou!" Liam protested.

Louis just picked his mug back up, sipping innocently. He left Liam in the kitchen, opening a new message to Harry on his own phone as he crossed through the living room to the sofa.

 _Liam's out this Friday_ he typed, _...wanna come over? x_

Harry replied a couple of minutes later.

**_Sounds good, can we order in? xx_ **

_Sure, pizza, Chinese, whatever, you choose. I'll get the beer in xx_

**_It's a date xxx_ **

Louis read at Harry's last text, mug poised halfway to his mouth. His brain kicked into action, cogs turning as his plan began to formulate.

 

*****

 

Liam gave a frustrated cry from the bedroom, where he'd been for the last hour. Louis had steadfastly tried to ignore him, focusing on the tv, blocking the sounds of him pacing and muttering and the bangs that indicated he was currently trashing his bedroom, but the sudden wail was the last straw. Louis muted the tv, standing and heading to stand in the doorway of Liam's room.

It was indeed trashed. What seemed the entire contents of Liam's wardrobe was strewn across the carpet, piles of t-shirts on his bed and pairs of mismatched shoes everywhere. In the midst of it all stood Liam, who looked so miserable Louis thought he was going to burst into tears.

"Li," he said, picking his way through the clothes and throwing an arm around Liam's shoulders. "C'mon, mate. Pull it together. It's only Zayn; we've been out with him before. He doesn't give a shit what you're wearing."

"But _I_ do," Liam said, balling up another shirt and lobbing it to the back of the wardrobe. Louis tutted. "It's different this time. After tonight it could actually _go_ somewhere...I don't want to fuck it up."

"Trust me, there's little you can do to put him off you." Louis squeezed his shoulder. "Now come on, where's that shirt I bought you for your birthday last year? The blue one? You look good in that one."

With only minor hyperventilation, Louis got Liam out of the door and into a taxi on time. He got straight on his phone, telling Harry the coast was clear, and then jumped into the shower. Twenty minutes later he was sat on the sofa, dressed in black jeans and a simple white shirt, hair carefully styled into a quiff.

When the knock on the door came Louis jumped up, switching off the tv and hurrying to the door. He swung it open to a smiling Harry, who was dressed in worn jeans and an old Pink Floyd t-shirt. Louis reached out to take his hand, pulling him inside the flat and leaning up to kiss him once the door was shut behind them. Harry's free hand came to rest on Louis' neck, thumb stroking along his jaw.

"Hello," Harry grinned, the sight warming Louis' insides. It had only been mere hours since he'd seen Harry on the drive home from the college, but the time apart had seemed to drag like it had been days. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, pulling him closer.

Harry looked down, quirking an eyebrow at what little of Louis' outfit he could see. "Are you going somewhere? I mean, you look really good, don't get me wrong," he rushed to say, "But I'm not sure the delivery guy cares what we're wearing."

"Ah, young Harold. It's all part of my plan," he winked. "We're going out instead! Surprise!" He pecked a kiss to Harry's cheek and stepped back. "I booked us a table at a place just outside of town. Like a, you know, a proper date?" he finished, feeling more and more put out as Harry's expression became positively aghast.

"But I-" Harry looked down at his scuffed boots. "Louis, look at me! I can't go anywhere nice looking like this!"

"I don't give a shit what you look like. You could be wearing a bin bag for all I care," Louis sniffed. Harry's face softened, and Louis felt his cheeks heat. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I've made up my mind, and you're not going to change it. I want to take you on a date, so that's what we're gonna do."

"...Okay," Harry gave in, though he still looked a little worried. He was helpless to resist, though, when Louis had stuffed his feet into his shoes and picked up his keys, flicking the lights off and steering Harry out of the door.

He fidgeted in the car all the way there, rolling the sleeves of his T-shirt up and tugging it out to hide some of the wrinkles. He gave up trying to iron his shirt with his hand after a few minutes, flopping back into the seat with a huff. A moment later his hand drifted to its usual place on Louis' thigh, though, so he knew Harry wasn't really that angry with him.

Louis navigated his way through roads that got narrower and had fewer streetlights the further away from the city they got. Just when he was beginning to think he'd got them lost they stumbled upon the restaurant, situated behind a field of sheep. He parked in a car park that was only big enough for about ten cars, squeezing into a space in the corner. The setting sun cast an orange hue on the small restaurant, making the red brick almost glow. Ivy twined up around the front door, some of it climbing up to the windows at the top of the building. Away from the noise and bustle of the city, it was wonderfully peaceful, the only sounds coming from the sheep in the background.

Harry met him at the front of the car, looking up at the place in wonder. "It's lovely. I didn't even know this was here."

"Niall told me about it. I knew you'd like it." Louis offered his hand, which Harry took. "Come on."

Inside it was decorated in a traditionally rustic way, with open fires and exposed brick walls, low wooden doorways that Harry had to stoop slightly to get through. They were seated in a corner booth by the window, with a great view of the sun setting over the rolling hills. Harry settled himself close to Louis behind the round table, leaving only a couple of inches space between them.

A waitress came by with a notepad and pen. "Can I get you something to drink?" she asked, "Would you like to the see the wine menu?"

Louis hesitated, unsure whether Harry would want wine or not. At Harry's dubious expression, he went with his instinct. "No, thank you, could we just have two beers, please? Whatever's fine."

When she'd gone Harry leaned over to murmur in his ear. "Thank god you said no. I don't know the first thing about wine."

"Me neither. We'll stick to beer, yeah?" Harry nodded happily, reaching for a menu.

All the tables in the restaurant were full, but with the way the place had been designed, they were far enough away that their voices were mere murmurs, with the occasional clink of cutlery interrupting the low hum. Louis looked over his own menu, settling on steak, and then set it down in favour of watching Harry. He was meticulous in his decision, reading every single thing on the menu at least twice before he looked happy. The waitress came back over, setting two glasses down in front of them and tucking the tray under her arm, notepad poised again. Louis looked at Harry expectantly.

"Can I have the spaghetti, please?" he asked, and the waitress nodded with a smile, jotting it down and turning to Louis. When she was gone Louis slipped his hand under the table to rest it on Harry's knee.

"Do you think she knows we're on a date?" Harry asked, dropping his own hand under the table to cover Louis'.

"'Course," Louis nodded. "I reckon most people here at this time are on dates."

"I can see why they come here," Harry looked out at the sun that was just dipping down over the horizon. "It's perfect."

"Not _too_ romantic?" Louis asking, wincing a little, "'Cos I'm not too good at the whole romance thing; I never know if I've got it right or not."

Harry looked back to him and smiled, the sun tinting one side of his face slightly orange, "I'd say you were pretty good at it."

They talked quietly together until their food came, and then ate slowly as they told each other stories about their families, muffling their splutters of laughter in their napkins. Harry was intrigued to learn that Liam worked in a health food shop, and Louis laughed so hard tears sprung to his eyes at some of the anecdotes Harry told him about what he got up to when he was younger. He spoke of his family so warmly that Louis couldn't help his fond smile.

"I'd love to meet your family one day," he said when the waitress had cleared their plates and returned with the dessert menu. Louis went for chocolate cake, Harry for waffles, and they sat back in their seats, sitting even closer now than before. 

"You could, you know. Sooner." Harry shrugged casually, though his eyes held apprehension in them.

"I could?"

"Yeah. We have a family wedding next weekend. I'm allowed a plus one, but I didn't have one. You could come...as my date."

"Haz, I'm flattered you'd ask me," Harry heard the apology in his voice and his face fell, "But I'm not sure I can. It's a bit risky, isn't it?"

"But it's down south, like two hours drive away...no one is going to know who you are. They'll all just think you're with me," Harry pouted. "Please?"

It was a stupid idea, Louis knew that. Even if it was a long way away and nobody would think he was anything other than Harry's boyfriend, what if there were questions? What if people asked how they met or where Louis worked or what he did for a living? And what would happen when Harry's parents came to a parents evening at the college and saw Louis there and put two and two together? The whole thing could come crashing down around their ears and he and Harry would be torn apart.

"I just want to spend time with you," Harry was saying, nuzzling close into Louis' side. "Time like this."

Louis' resolve was powerless against those pleading eyes. He sighed, '"Okay, I'll be your plus one."

Harry almost squealed in excitement, bouncing a little in his seat. "Okay! Okay, I'll find the address for you! Have you got a suit?"

"I've still got the one I wore to my mums' wedding last year, should still be good."

Harry eyed him, grinning, "I bet you don't look bad in a suit."

"I don't look bad in anything," Louis sniffed, pinching Harry's thigh gently to show he was teasing. Harry's smile looked like it was going to split his face in two, and he looked around sharply before pressing his lips to Louis', kissing him messily in his haste. He made to pull away but Louis kept him there, just for a little longer. It was worth it to see Harry's cheeks flaming when he pulled away at the waitresses little cough of amusement as she set their desserts down in front of them.

 

*****

 

Louis paid, much to Harry's protest ("This is the twenty first century, Lou, I should be allowed to pay half"), and they began the journey back to the city. Back to real life, Louis thought, as they left the peace of the country behind. The night had turned cold, and Harry turned the heating up until his teeth had stopped chattering.

As much as Louis wanted to take Harry home with him, just to make their time together last a little bit longer, if he knew anything about Liam and Zayn it was that they probably wouldn't have spent all that much time in the bar, and that they were probably already home again. Louis didn't want to take the risk of assuming they'd gone to Zayn's, so he drove Harry to his own house, saying goodbye with a lingering kiss and watching him walk inside, turning to give him a tiny wave on the doorstep. The simple things, he realised, like not even being able to walk his boyfriend to his door, were what Louis hated most about this situation.

When Louis got back to his and Liam's flat, only to find a trail of clothing, including a shirt that Louis had seen Zayn wear before, leading to Liam's closed bedroom door, Louis knew he'd made the right decision in not bringing Harry back. He made a cup of tea, and shut himself in his room, preparing to sleep with his earbuds in to drown out any noises that he really didn't need to hear.

Only when he was on the brink of sleep, did he realise that he'd, internally, called Harry his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Chapter title comes from Teenage Dream by Katy Perry.
> 
> (Just as a note, the legal drinking age in England is 18, so Harry is legal here. No illegal activities in this fic, nope, none at all).


	7. made me crazy, made me want you more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeellll a lot of shit has gone down since I last updated...hope everyone survived. Five is now four, but it's gonna be okay.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Louis could count the times he’d been to London on one hand. The trip from Manchester down to the capital wasn’t short, so it had only been worth going for a break away with his family or friends. It was a first for him to be making the trip by himself. In the early hours of the morning he’d bundled his overnight case and suit bag into his car and set off, intending to check into his room at the hotel and shower and change there before heading to the church. 

Harry was already at the hotel, having taken the day off college the day before to travel down with his family. He’d texted Louis periodically, to both let him know how things were going and to reassure him. That was the downside to driving by himself, even his music couldn’t distract him from the nerves twisting in his stomach every time he thought about meeting Harry’s family.

It felt too soon. That’s what the little voice in the back of Louis’ head told him every time he thought about it. He and Harry were barely together, hadn’t even had the conversation about making it official yet, regardless of Louis already calling Harry his boyfriend in his head. Louis hated insecurity, and that’s exactly what he was feeling. Part of him was still sure that Harry just had a crush on him, and that as soon as Harry graduated from the college and got out into the big wide world of the stage he’d see all the other people he could be with and resent Louis for holding him back. He’d sit in a bar one day, someone else’s ring on his finger and a drink in his hand, and laugh about it with his dancer-friends. ‘I thought I was in love with my drama teacher once’, he’d say, ‘he thought he loved me too. It was just a stupid fling.’

Louis gripped the steering wheel and exhaled slowly, reaching down to shift gears and then taking a right turn. Keeping his eyes on the road, he fumbled with the volume control on the radio and turned the music up, focusing on the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1Eh-LDFS5Q) to calm the tightness in his chest. This feeling, being unsure, panicking a little at the prospect of being apart from Harry, was alien to him, and it was unnerving. He felt out of his depth, treading water with his head only just above the surface.

An hour later he pulled up to the hotel. The reception was a wide expanse of gleaming marble floor, a crystal chandelier hanging over head, reflecting off the polished mahogany reception desk. A beaming woman stood behind the desk, hand poised over a computer mouse.

"Checking in?" she asked, and Louis nodded. He set his bag down on the floor and within seconds someone else had picked it up, waiting patiently at Louis’ shoulder. The receptionist gave Louis his key and directed him up the wooden staircase behind them. Once in the room, Louis tipped the guy who had carried his bag and headed straight for the shower, pointing the remote at the TV as he went. He showered quickly, mindful of the time, and then unzipped his suit bag, relieved to see nothing had become creased on the journey.

Steadfastly ignoring the trembling in his fingers, he knotted his tie, slid his jacket onto his shoulders and slipped his phone into the inside pocket. Giving himself a final look over in the mirror, he switched off the tv and gathered his keys, wallet and room key, before shutting the door behind him and heading down the carpeted stairs to reception again. Once in the car, he fired off a text to Harry to tell him where he was, and then slipped his aviators on and kicked the car into life.

The church was in a fairly secluded area twenty minutes from the hotel. A quick glance at his watch told Louis he was just about on time, and he locked the car behind him and hurried through the church gate and up the gravel pathway, craning his neck for any glimpse of Harry. There were a few people in suits and dresses filing into the quaint little building, and as Louis crunched closer he could see the guests being directed into the church by an usher. A tall, slender usher, looking devastating in black and white, hair pushed back off his forehead. Louis slowed down, shoving his clammy hands into his pockets and fixing a smile on his face as he got close, waiting for Harry to show a middle aged couple into the church before he turned back to him.

"Hi!" Harry beamed, swooping on Louis and pulling him into a quick hug. Louis felt Harry sense the tension radiating off him in waves, and he pulled back, smile faltering. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Louis said brightly, reaching for Harry's hand and curling their fingers together. "Thought I was going to be late, that's all."

Harry quirked an eyebrow.

Louis let out annoyed huff, put out at Harry's ability to read him so well. Honestly, it was like he was turning into Liam. Soon, Louis wouldn't be able to keep anything from anyone. "Fine. Bit nervous, that's all. Hope your family likes me," he admitted, lifting his free hand to rub at the back of his neck. "You know, first time meeting the parents and all that. And it's not like we've been together all that long either."

Harry's expression softened, worried brow relaxing. "People who have known each other for less time than us have gotten engaged before," he reasoned. "Everybody's different. They'll love you, promise. Just maybe leave out the bit where you tell them what you do for a living."

"Wise words," Louis said solemnly, only slightly teasing, though his hand tightened in Harry's all the same. "Come on then, do your job, show me to my seat."

Harry pulled him into the mostly full church, leading him towards the front where there were two empty aisle seats, one for Louis, and one, he presumed, for Harry to join him when he was finished ushering people.

"Mum," Harry said, and Louis' heart missed a beat. "This is Louis."

A woman with dark hair and Harry's smile stood, holding out her hand for Louis to shake.

"Louis," she greeted him warmly. "I'm Anne. It's good to meet you."

She was lovely, all Harry's family were, welcoming him like they'd known him months instead of minutes. Harry disappeared again, but Louis barely noticed, too busy fielding questions about himself left right and centre.

By the time the church was full to capacity and Harry sat next to him, pressed along his side from shoulder to knee, Louis was berating himself for ever being anxious about meeting Harry's family. He'd had absolutely nothing to worry about, and as long as he was careful about telling people where he and Harry had met, everything would be fine.

 

*****

 

He'd lost Harry.

One minute the boy had been stood next to him at the bar, relaying his drink order, and the next minute the dj was playing Harry's 'favourite song ever!' (all the songs they played seemed to be his 'favourite') and he'd bounded off to the dance floor, swiping the hand of a little girl in a puffy bridesmaids dress on the way past to be his dance partner. That song had finished, and another one had begun, and still Louis couldn't see him for all the people. So he was stuck at the bar with their drinks, unable to do anything until Harry returned. It wasn't as if he minded, though. If anything, he liked watching Harry (when he could actually see him) with his family. It was clear that that was where he was in his element, surrounded by people he loved who loved him in return, all dancing to the Macarena in sync. Seeing Harry like that, grinning madly, bouncing around, put a smile on Louis' own face. As long as Harry was happy, Louis would stand at the bar all night.

Being this far from the college environment was freeing. Harry was unbridled, unaffected by what other people thought of him. He'd introduced Louis to his family throughout the day with something akin to pride in his voice, hand tightly holding Louis' all the while. Through the meal at the reception back at the hotel they'd sat together with Harry's family on a corner table, sipping wine and talking quietly, Harry's hand taking its place on Louis' thigh whenever there was a break between courses. They'd listened to the speeches, Harry handing Anne a napkin when she became tearful, and then having to find one himself when his own eyes got a little watery.

Louis had looked at him dabbing at the corners of his eyes, realising with a painful ache in his chest that one day it could be _them_ sat at the top table. He'd entertained the ridiculous idea that it could be Louis' own words that were making Harry cry, and that people would be raising their glasses to _them_ , toasting _their_ happiness. He watched Harry take a deep breath to compose himself, reach for his wine glass and take a sip, and thought, yeah, okay. One day. He could see himself falling in love with Harry.

That's if he wasn't already half way there.

The reception had gone on, the day guests leaving in anticipation of the evening guests, and the bar had opened, the lights dimmed, and the dj had taken up his position, kicking off the evening with the first dance. As far as Louis could tell, Harry was holding his drink pretty well. He had a penchant for mojitos, Louis discovered, and he was maybe on his third while Louis stuck to JD.

Now, Harry moved into view, doing the Macarena along a line of people until he caught Louis' eye and grinned. Louis shook his head, unable to help himself from grinning back. Harry swayed his hips...and jumped in the wrong direction, so he was facing Louis while everybody else had their backs to him. Louis snorted into his drink and then coughed, clapping a hand over his mouth as Harry shuffled sheepishly around and carried on. Louis looked on, hopelessly endeared, as Harry finished the dance with flaming red cheeks.

"Not a word." Harry said as he came to stand next to Louis.

Louis ignored him completely, handing him his drink and leaning in close. "Apparently your finesse in ballet doesn't extend to any other areas of dance, then," he said dryly.

"No," Harry accepted, taking a sip of his drink, "But my flexibility is a constant."

Louis' felt his eyes bug, and Harry giggled, leaning in and a dropping a kiss to his mouth before pulling away. "Will you dance with me in a minute?"

"Sorry, babe, the Cha Cha Slide isn't really my thing."

Harry gasped in mock offence, "The Cha Cha Slide is everyone's thing. I'll get you up there, just you wait, old man."

Louis spluttered, but Harry was already gone, making beeline for his Aunt as the first strains of Dancing Queen played through the speakers. Any other time, Louis would have rolled his eyes at the taste in music, but on this occasion he was actually enjoying it. Maybe he would let Harry persuade him to get up there. After a few more drinks, of course.

A couple of songs later, Louis was waiting to catch the bartenders eye to order another drink when Harry found him again. The music had changed, winding down into a couple of slower songs that couples were pairing up to dance to. The bride and groom took the centre of the floor to the [familiar strains](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFfKb_WEkCE) of a guitar, while everyone circled around them. Louis watched Harry's parents walk onto the floor hand in hand, and then felt a tap at his shoulder. He turned, finding Harry grinning at him.

"Dance with me?"

Louis rolled his eyes and set down his drink, pretending to be put upon. "Fine, if you really insist."

They slotted together on the danced floor, Louis' arm around Harry's waist, holding him close. They moved slowly to the music, Harry virtually melting in his arms, pliant and relying on Louis to keep them from bumping into other couples.

"How much have you had to drink?" Louis teased gently, "You're all over the place."

"Only a couple," Harry leaned in briefly to touch his forehead to Louis'. "M'just having a good time."

"Hm," Louis agreed. "It's been a really good day."

He glanced over to his left to see Anne smiling at them, and he returned it before turning his attention back to Harry. He was trying his hardest not to let any feelings of guilt creep up on him and ruin the moment. All he wanted to be right then was Louis Tomlinson: Harry Styles' Date, not Louis Tomlinson: Drama Teacher. Here, they were free of suspicion, of having to hide, and Louis was determined to keep that feeling for as long as they could. This thing between them was addictive, magnetic and irresistible. The more time Louis spent with Harry, the more he craved him.

"I was thinking," Harry said as the music continued, following Louis' lead. "I'm staying in my own room tonight."

"Mr Styles," Louis said, scandalised, "I hope you're not suggesting I sneak around in the dead of night and come to your room."

Harry didn't giggle, though, like Louis had been expecting him to. If anything, he looked nervous, squirming a little in Louis' arms. "Actually...yeah."

"Of course I'll stay with you," Louis said gently. "I was going to ask you the same thing, actually."

"No, Lou. Listen, I..." Harry's eyes darted around, checking no one was within listening distance. He lowered his voice even more, so Louis had to lean in closer to catch what he was saying. "I've got the room to myself..."

His eyes bore into Louis, teeth worrying his bottom lip anxiously. Louis stared back, confused. "...Yeah, you have," he affirmed.

Harry sighed as if Louis was being particularly dense. "I've been thinking about it all day. You and me, in a room. I'm ready."

Then Louis got it. He gaped, feeling like the air had been knocked out of his lungs, mind reeling. They'd discussed this, that day in Harry's house when he'd asked if he wanted to go to his bedroom. They'd agreed to go slow, take their time, and now Harry was telling him he was ready? All of Louis' rational thought disappeared, brain taken over by images of Harry spread out on sheets, naked under him, legs parted and ready to be hooked around Louis' waist, gripping material in his fists as Louis touched and Harry arched into him, waiting, _begging_ -

"Shit," Louis breathed into the space between them. He blinked back into focus only to find Harry's eyes had gone dark, glinting with something secret and meaningful. "You mean...?" he asked, and Harry nodded. "I thought we said-"

"I don't want to wait," Harry interrupted him. "I want it to be now. Tonight."

Louis' brain scrambled for something vaguely appropriate to respond to that, attempting to be rational. "But, we've been drinking...and I don't have...stuff..." he finished lamely.

"I'm nowhere near drunk, Lou. I've only had a couple. And I, er, went out shopping yesterday. Before we drove down. I got everything we need."

"You were planning this?"

Harry had the grace to look sheepish, "I've just been thinking about it a lot. I want it. With you." The first shadows of insecurity flitted across his face. "Do you...do you not want to?"

"Of course I want to, I just want to make sure you're absolutely certain you want to try," Louis said. He spun them slowly again, aware that everyone else dancing around them was completely oblivious to the turn their conversation had taken. Harry's fingers were tight on the material covering his biceps, smile nervous but sure.

"I'm sure," he said, touching his forehead to Louis'. "Take me, _please_ ," he breathed, and Louis was done for. 

"Right, okay," he swallowed heavily. "Let's go and say goodnight to everyone."

They made their way around everyone, wishing Harry's family a good night and receiving sloppy kisses and declarations of love from a very obviously drunk bride, before they slipped out of the room into the corridor.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet, atmosphere in the car thick with anticipation. Harry's hand on his leg suddenly felt so much heavier, its presence not allowing Louis to think of anything else but what they were about to do. When Louis pulled into the car park of the hotel, they wordlessly both got out of the car and headed to the entrance of the hotel.

Their muffled footsteps on the carpeted hallways up to Harry's room were drowned put by the pounding of Louis' heartbeat in his ears. His mind was jumbled around, thoughts grounded only by the feel of Harry's slightly sweaty palm in his. Finally Harry brought them to a stop, reaching into his jacket to pull out the key card. He slotted it into the door, and waited for the sound of the lock to click. Then he pushed the door open, pulling Louis inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Chapter title comes from If You Ever Want To Be In Love by James Bay.


	8. lay me down and make me shiver

Louis could tell Harry was nervous. He flitted from corner to corner of the room, making sure the curtains were fully closed, pouring himself a drink from the mini bar, and avoiding Louis' eyes altogether. His anxiety wasn't helping Louis; he was on edge too just watching him.

He'd never been somebody's first time, and the overwhelming feeling that came over him as he watching Harry fiddle with the end of his tie was a need to be the best he could be for Harry. Louis wanted this, had wanted it so desperately since the first time they'd kissed, but he was certain that tonight was about Harry. He'd promised they'd _try_ ; and whether he took Harry's virginity tonight or not, it would be okay as long as Harry was comfortable and happy.

The room itself was plush, cream carpets and mahogany furniture and deep red curtains with matching bed covers, and wall lights that could be dimmed down to create a more... _welcoming_ atmosphere. It was both inviting and comforting, which was what Harry needed. Thought he wasn't even looking at him, Louis could sense Harry about to freak out, so he intercepted him as Harry hurried past with an arm around his waist, and pulled him in.

"Hey," he smiled at Harrys deer-in-the-headlights expression, "It's okay, breathe." He pressed his lips to Harry's, coaxing his tongue into his mouth, gradually feeling Harry relax into him, arms winding around his shoulders. "You know there's no pressure, right?" he asked, lips still touching Harry's, "None. Whether this happens or it doesn't, it doesn't change anything."

"I know," Harry replied, nodding. "I do want it, though."

Louis exhaled evenly through his nose. "Okay," he said more to himself than Harry, "Okay."

"I think I'm going to get in the shower," Harry said, disentangling their arms and stepping away, shrugging his suit jacket from his shoulders. "It's been a long day."

"Good idea. Might help you relax a bit, too."

Harry shed the rest of his suit, hanging it up carefully so it didn't get creased, and then headed for the bathroom. Louis heard him moving around and then the sound of water hitting the bottom of the shower reached his ears. He crossed over to the full length mirror, running a hand through his hair and then reaching to undo the knot of his tie, hanging it over a nearby chair. In the reflection of the mirror he saw Harry's bag behind him on the other side of the room.

Harry's earlier words came back to him, and he crossed over and knelt down beside it, zipping it open and moving a few things around. He came up empty rummaging around in the main compartment, so he moved to a side pocket. In it he found a plastic bag, tied in a knot at the top. Fumbling with the plastic he finally got it open, peering inside, and found a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. A faint smile pulled at the corners of his mouth at Harry's forward planning, and he carried the two items over and set them down on the bedside table.

"Lou?" Harry's voice was echoey from inside the shower.

"Yeah, babe?" Louis called back, turning towards the bathroom door.

"Are you coming in here?" Louis heard the apprehension in Harry's tone. He didn't reply, stripping off instead and laying his suit out with his tie and then striding, naked, towards Harry's voice.

Harry had his back to him when Louis opened the shower door, the water running in rivulets through his hair and down his back, over the swell of his arse and down his strong, toned legs. Louis swallowed, eyes lingering on his pale skin. A hint of arousal curled in his abdomen. Shutting the glass door behind him he flattened himself against Harry's back, winding his arms around Harry's stomach and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. Harry gave a happy hum, covering Louis' hands with his own and rocking back on his heels to lean against him. His wet hair tickled Louis' cheek, fingernails scratched lightly across the skin of his forearms.

"All right?" Louis asked lowly, mouthing softly at the side of Harry's neck. As a response, Harry turned in his arms and pressed their mouths together, tongue swiping across Louis' bottom lip. Louis skimmed his hands down Harry's sides, pausing to squeeze his hips before moving lower. At the feeling of hands on his bum Harry pressed closer, half hard cock brushing against Louis' and drawing a soft moan from both of them. Harry's fingers came up to wind themselves through Louis' wet hair, taking some control back and tilting his head to the left to take Louis' lips again.

Blindly, Louis reached out for Harry's shower gel, working behind Harry's back and pouring some into his palm. Harry shivered as Louis' hands moved across his back, up to his shoulders and lathering his skin up with bubbles. As his tongue touched Harry's his fingers slipped between his cheeks, just rubbing gently.

Harry's back arched, whining into Louis' mouth, pushing his arse out obscenely to get more of Louis' fingers.

"Holy shit," Louis breathed, surprised by how eager Harry was. Harry mumbled an intelligible reply, eyes closed against the water raining down on his face. Louis watched him through half lidded eyes, inching his fingers down to just brush over his hole.

"Yes," Harry hissed into Louis' mouth, gripping Louis' waist to keep their cocks pressed together.

"Okay?" Louis checked, though it was getting harder to keep a level head when Harry was like this, all wet and slippery and pushing himself against Louis' hand. "Can I touch you here?"

"Please," Harry nodded quickly, nervously, "And...and inside, too."

Louis swallowed again. Keeping an eye on Harry's expression, he ran a finger over Harry's hole lightly, repeating the motion when Harry's lips fell open. He couldn't bring himself to leave Harry to get the lube, so he squirted more shower gel over his fingers, moving them back over Harry's hole, making circular motions to get the muscle to relax.

It wasn't as if they'd not done this before; Louis had lain Harry out and fingered him until he came before now, but this time it felt weirdly different. Louis wanted to take this slow, even if the way Harry was pushing to get Louis' fingers in him meant he wanted this faster.

His ring finger breached Harry's hole, the tip just resting inside, and Harry moved his mouth back to Louis'. " _Oh_ ," he breathed, 'More," and Louis obliged, watching Harry's face for any signs of discomfort. None came, all there was was Harry sharp intakes of air in Louis' ear, his hands gripping Louis' waist.

"Come on," Louis said abruptly, gently pulling his finger from Harry's body and shutting off the water. Taking Harry by the hand he pulled them both, dripping water everywhere, through to the bed. Harry flopped down first, pulling Louis on top of his and fitting their mouths together.

Without saying anything else, Harry spread his knees so they cradled Louis' hips and took hold of Louis' wrist, pushing it down between his legs. Louis huffed a laugh into Harry's mouth, pulling his hand free and reaching for the bottle of lube. Fumbling slightly, he dropped the bottle over the edge of the bed. Harry snorted indelicately and shoved Louis off him so he could retrieve it.

The serious atmosphere lifted as Louis dangled over the edge of the bed, arse in the air, stretching to the reach the bottle. Harry hauled him back up when he had it, leaning up to kiss him, giggling into his mouth, and Louis pinched his arse, grinning back.

"Not all of us have the grace of a ballet dancer," Louis told him. He pressed a kiss to Harry's bent knee and then settled in between them, uncapped the bottle and squeezed some of the cool liquid onto his fingers. He rubbed his fingers together, warming it slightly, before nudging a finger up to Harry's hole again.

"Breathe out," he instructed gently, sliding his ringer finger back in on Harry's exhale. "Feel okay?"

"Feels good," Harry nodded. "Another."

Louis pulled his finger out, adding his middle finger and sliding them back in slowly. Harry just smiled benignly up at him. Louis stretched his fingers out, then at Harry's nod added his index finger, pausing at the flicker of discomfort that crossed Harry's face. Soon though, Harry had relaxed around him, and Louis was sliding his fingers in and out evenly, cock fully hard and aching at just the noises that were leaving Harry's mouth. He was beautiful like this, Louis thought, gorgeous and pliant and stretched out, ready. All his dancing meant his body was toned, lithe and graceful even when he was impaled on three of Louis' fingers. With his free hand he took hold of Harry's cock, just sucking on the tip lightly, just enough to have Harry squirming.

When Louis couldn't bear it any longer he lifted his mouth off and pulled his fingers out, reaching over for a condom. His fingers shook as he tore open the foil packet, trembling with the need to be closer to Harry, to bury himself in his body and take him apart piece by piece until all he knew was _Louis_. He felt hot all over, and he knew Harry was the same by the flush that had spread from his cheeks down his chest.

"Come _on_ ," Harry urged, tone so reminiscent of the day they'd sat in Louis' car outside his house, when he'd pleaded to be kissed. "Don't wanna play anymore."

Louis did as asked, shuffling in closer so his cock brushed up against Harry's hole. He took in Harry's blown out pupils, fingertips white where they gripped Louis' forearms, chest rising in steady breaths like he was trying to calm himself down, and then looked down to where he was poised, so close to pushing into that tiny hole and breaking down that final barrier between them.

Harry whined impatiently again so Louis pressed forward, guiding himself in, slowly, slowly, feeling his cock squeezed tighter, until he was halfway in. Harry groaned low in the back of his throat, fingers scrabbling over Louis' skin until he found Louis' own fingers and then laced them together, grounding them both.

Louis felt lightheaded, feeling like all his oxygen had been drawn from his lungs in one go. Harry's face twisted in discomfort for a moment, but then he nodded. Louis moved forward again, pushing in until he was buried inside him. He leaned over Harry, panting int his mouth, both of them sharing the same air.

"Lou..." Harry breathed, something akin to awe making his voice raspy.

"Still okay? If it's too much we can stop...?"

"No, fuck no," Harry insisted, " _Move_ , please, please-"

Louis did, slowly pulling out and then pushing in again, testing Harry's reaction. His smile urged Louis on, and he set a slow rhythm, disentangling their fingers briefly to hitch Harry's legs around his waist and tuck in close. Experimentally, he pushed in deep and then circled his hips, loving the feel of his cock encased in Harry's tight heat.

Harry inhaled sharply, waist arching clean off the sheets. Louis bent forward, sliding his hands underneath him to catch his back as he came back down again. He leaned over him, pulling his hips out and pushing them back in slightly harder. Harry's deep, velvety groans echoed in his ear. Louis pressed open mouthed kisses to his neck, sucking with just enough pressure to leave a reddening mark on his skin.

Harry's fingers were gripping Louis' biceps hard enough he was sure they would bruise, head thrown back against the pillow, eyes squeezed tightly shut. The long line of his neck was exposed to Louis' lips, hair fanned out in a stark contrast against the white of the pillows.

"God, _fuck_ ," he was choking out into the air.

"Baby," Louis couldn't help himself, increasing his pace, each snap of his hips moving Harry's body in incremental shifts, "Look at me."

Harry obeyed, blinking up at Louis. He grinned suddenly, disarmingly, green eyes sparkling. Louis' chest squeezed, and his next exhale came out shaky. He couldn't really believe they were doing his; he didn't know how he'd got this lucky to have this boy underneath him, coming apart so beautifully with every press of Louis' hips.

Louis would like to say his mind was full of poetic things about Harry's skin, like how the planes of it were unblemished apart from the black swallows on his collarbones and the red marks Louis had left dotted around, or the way his thighs fit perfectly in the dip of Louis' waist, or the way his lips parted in a trembling exhale as his fingertips gripped Louis' shoulders, but all he could do was repeat a silent mantra in his head of _don't come yet, don't come, for Christs' sake, don't come yet._

Something shifted then; the air between them changing again into something more relaxed. Harry became boneless in his arms, all except for his hips, which began tilting up to meet of each of Louis' thrusts, fighting to get him deeper, closer. Louis bent his head to kiss him loosely, all tongue and no pressure.

Soon, though, Harry was moving his head away to breathe into his ear. "Faster, think m'gonna-"

"You gonna come?" Louis asked him, and Harry nodded frantically. Louis leaned back, taking his arms out from under Harry to prop himself up on his hands, putting more force behind the rocking of his hips. Harry's chest heaved, the red in his cheeks spreading all the way down his chest, and he let go of Louis' biceps to scrabble at the headboard behind him, fingers searching for something to hold onto. His legs fell away from Louis' waist, staying bent at the knees but falling further open, cock hard and hot against his stomach. 

Louis took hold of him, swiping precome around with his thumb and jerking him in time with his thrusts. Suddenly, with a sharp intake of breath, Harry's body seized and then went still as he came over Louis' hand and his stomach.

Louis slowed his thrusts, guiding him through his orgasm. "That's it, baby," he crooned, "You're so good. My good boy."

Harry gave him a blissed out smile, still riding high. "Keep going," he encouraged, nudging Louis' hips with his knee.

"Not if you're sore..."

"M'fine. Want you to come in me, Lou."

Louis' eyes widened. He let go of Harry's cock, wiping his hand on the bedsheet quickly and then reached up for one of Harry's hand to link their fingers together, gripping tightly. He picked up his pace again, pounding into him hard and fast, eyes fixed on Harry. His orgasm built quickly in the pit of his stomach, hot and urgent, and he gave one more hard thrust and fell over the edge, collapsing onto Harry as he came, white noise filling his ears.

When he fully came back to himself, Harry was stroking a hand up and down his sweaty back, humming a tune Louis didn't recognise. Heaving his weight up felt like a monumental effort, so Louis pulled out slowly, kissing Harry when his nose wrinkled in discomfort, and then just flopped to the side, getting rid of the condom and then moulding himself into Harry's side.

"Okay?" he asked quietly, scared of breaking the quiet bliss that had swept through the room.

Harry nodded, rolling onto his side to face him and throwing an arm over Louis' waist. "More than okay."

Louis pressed a kiss to his forehead. He tried to keep the trembling in his fingers from Harry, hiding his hands out of sight behind Harry's back, feeling strangely vulnerable and shaky. As always though, Harry knew, and he manoeuvred their bodies so they fit together like puzzle pieces, hooking a leg over both of Louis'. 

Louis lost track of how long they lay there like that, just stroking his fingertips up and down Harry's back. They ought to take another shower; they were both covered in sweat and lube and come, but he knew it would be a while before he could will himself to pull away from Harry.

Later, after they'd showered, Louis ordered room service through Harry's protests that it was the middle of the night, and together they curled up in the huge bed, watching a crappy film and throwing popcorn at each other. Louis managed to jam a smaller piece up one of Harry's nostrils, and he swore he pulled a muscle laughing when Harry shrieked and tried to snort it back out again. It earned him a smack to the shoulder, and Harry pouted for a good five minutes. He only cheered up when Louis pushed him flat on his back and kissed and bit him playfully until he couldn't hold back his smile any longer, and then he demanded Louis have him again, right there in the popcorn covered sheets.

The ended up needing another shower when most of the popcorn they'd thrown at each other ended up in Harry's hair and in uncomfortable places of their bodies. As Louis washed it all out for him, the absurd thought crossed his mind that they could just not go back to the college. They could just run away and avoid all the hiding, and just be them, together. He knew it was completely impractical, of course, but that didn't stop him dreaming.

The hotel room was their little paradise, and he never wanted to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Title comes from Wraith, by Peace.


	9. the heart is hard to translate

But, like all good things, their little getaway had to come to an end. Come Tuesday morning Louis was back in the classroom trying to teach his twelfth years more Shakespeare. He was currently in the process of trying to convince them that no, _Romeo and Juliet_ was not a suitable play to base their own romantic fantasies on. Despite their protests and crows of it being unfair that Leo DiCaprio had to die (and okay, Louis had to agree with them there) he saw it as a personal mission to make them see that if Romeo had stuck to Rosaline, the whole sorry affair could have been avoided.

Now, he wasn't saying that he and Harry were anything like those star crossed lovers, but, well, he had to admit there were certain parallels. The whole tale of a forbidden relationship, people from two sides of the track that shouldn't be together but were, cut a little too close to home while he read through the play with his students. Fortunately, that's where the similarities ended. He felt almost too melodramatic for words but hey, sue him, drama was what he _did_.

One of his students, Archie, was Romeo, and the lovely but slightly plain Jess was Juliet. They were currently reading through the balcony scene, Jess perched precariously on the edge of the stage. Harry himself was stood a little way back from Louis with the rest of his classmates, and through the whole class Louis could feel his eyes burning holes into his back. More than once he let his mind drift away to the time they'd spent in their hotel room together over the weekend, and each time he ended up flustered and blushing when he was torn from his thoughts by his students calling for directions. Harry's knowing smirk whenever Louis asked a student to repeat the question they'd asked him because his mind wasn't together enough to understand them made Louis even more frustrated. He wanted nothing more than to drag Harry off to the nearest supply cupboard and wipe that smirk off his face.

Even more than that, he wished Harry had the confidence to read for Romeo. Louis could imagine his deep, careful voice flowing over the language and injecting the right inflections in all the right places. He wanted all the cliches, like sprawling naked in bed while Harry read soliloquies to him and asked him to deny his father and refuse his name...and then fucked him to within an inch of his life-

Louis snapped his thoughts away, coughing into his palm as he felt his cheeks heat. Harry wouldn't read Romeo, but he let Louis watch him dance, which Louis thought was a pretty fair trade.

When he let class out he puttered around for ten minutes and then made his way to the dance studios, peering in the glass doors until he found the one Harry was warming up in.

"Hey," he called, making his way over to sit at the piano, dropping his bag onto the floor next to him. Harry greeted him back, grinning, but didn't move from where he was stretched out on the floor.

"It's taking longer to warm up today," Harry informed him casually from in front of the mirror as Louis tinkled idly on the piano keys, "After last night."

Louis looked over, brow creased. "I didn't hurt you, did I? You didn't say anything..."

"Definitely not hurt. I liked it," Harry's eyes glittered. "Couldn't stop thinking about it all through class today. Nearly had to go to the bathroom to sort myself out."

"Jesus," Louis muttered, fingers faltering and making a discordant sound.

The night before, he'd picked Harry up from the side street he was waiting on, taken him home and then followed him inside and up to his room. He'd trusted Harry when he said his parents wouldn't be home for hours, and then he'd pushed him onto his single bed, peeling his dance leggings down and spreading his legs. He'd gotten off on it in a big way; knowing Harry was being reduced to a quivering mess by his teacher in his childhood bedroom with the possibility of his parents getting back at any minute. Louis supposed he had been a little rough, but Harry seemed to love it as much as he did.

The only negative side of it had been the time; they had cut it a little fine, and though Louis might have gotten off at the thought of being caught, he hadn't actually _wanted_  it to happen. He'd had to leave Harry with an apologetic kiss to clean up by himself while Louis hurried out to his car.

"You sure you're okay?" he double checked, worried now.

"Lou," Harry rolled his eyes a little. "Honestly, I'm great. I was just teasing."

Louis nodded in acceptance, "Still okay for tonight?"

Harry grimaced. "Actually, I don't think we can. My mum said something about her dinner plans being cancelled so I think she'll be home earlier, sorry. Can we go to yours instead?"

Louis hesitated. Sometimes Liam went to the gym after work on a Tuesday, but not every week. If he took Harry back, there would be a risk of Liam being there and then he'd have to think fast for an excuse. Still, he supposed, it would be worth it. Now he'd had Harry he couldn't get enough of him; and with the particular situation they were in they had to take any opportunity that presented itself, even with the risk involved.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone, opening his conversation thread to Liam.

_You going to the gym tonight? x_

_**Why?**_ Liam's reply came back, **_you thinking of coming? x_**

Louis snorted, fingers already tapping a reply, _Fuck no, was just wondering if I need to cook x_

**_Cook? You? x_ **

_Have you quite finished? x_

**_I have for now, yeah. You go ahead with the food, ill have somethin when I get in xx_ **

"Sorted," Louis told Harry as he crossed to the stereo. "We'll go to mine."

 

*****

 

A low moan vibrated through Harry's chest as Louis kissed down his neck and over the tattoos on his collarbones, pausing to flick his tongue over a nipple before continuing, following the light trail of hair to his waistband. It was one thing doing in this in Harry's room, but entirely another doing it in Louis' bed. Harry just melded seamlessly into the feel of the flat like he'd been there for years, immediately comfortable and at ease padding around the kitchen and in the bedroom. True to his word, Liam was out, and within minutes of them getting through the front door Louis had Harry on his back in his bed, already half undressed.

Harry stroked his fingers gently through Louis' hair, pushing it off his forehead so Louis could look up at him and grin. Undoing Harry's black trousers, Louis pulled his zipper down slowly, each clack of the zip deliberately teasing. Harry licked his lips in anticipation. His cock was already hard, pushing against the material of his underwear. Without further preamble, Louis began mouthing at his cock through the fabric, inhaling deeply. Harry's free hand gripped the sheets next to him, so responsive as always. Louis sucked lightly, making a visibly darker patch on the black of his boxers.

"Louis," Harry's said throatily. "Please."

"Please what, baby?" Louis rubbed his cheek against the hardness.

Harry groaned, louder this time, "Your mouth, _please_."

Louis hummed, said, "Well, since you asked so nicely," promptly pulled back the elastic waistband, took Harry in hand and then sunk his mouth down around him.

Tiny whimpers echoed above him, and Harry's hand tightened in his hair to the point of it being a bit uncomfortable, though he didn't really mind. Louis kept one hand pressed to the inside of Harry's thigh, keeping his legs open, and used his free hand to work the base of Harry's cock, precome easing the way. It was wet, and hot, and felt so _good_ Louis could feel his own cock throbbing in his jeans.

He sucked a little harder, tongue flat against the underside of Harry's cock. He felt the vein there throbbing against his tongue, could tell when Harry was near by the way the muscles in his thighs tensed. Harry tried to warn him, loosening his grip in Louis' hair and feebly patting his head, but Louis didn't budge, and when Harry came he swallowed it down, bittersweet on his tongue.

Harry was boneless and limp in the sheets, mumbling something that sounded like 'so good, thank you, thank you'. Louis shook his head fondly, and winced when he moved and his cock gave a painful throb. He stuck his hand inside his jeans a little awkwardly and wrapped a hand around himself, giving his cock a couple of tugs to get some sort of relief.

"C'mere," Harry beckoned him. "Come on me."

Fuck if that wasn't the hottest thing Louis had heard all day. Not one to be told twice, he shucked off his jeans and boxers and then straddled Harry's hips, gripping his cock in his fist. A few pumps later, just the sight of Harry all blissed out was enough to send him over the edge and he came, shooting onto Harry's stomach. He stayed where he was through the buzzing in his ears, and when he looked up at Harry, flipping the hair out of his eyes, Harry was looking at him a little strangely.

"What?" Louis asked, suddenly a little self conscious. "Was that not okay? I'm sorry, I-"

"No," Harry interrupted, still looking at him with bright eyes and a soft smile. "I liked that a lot."

"Okay," Louis said slowly.

"I just...there's something I want to tell you."

It took him a couple of seconds, but Louis thought he understood. It was just, the way Harry was looking at him made him want to curl into his side and stay there forever, to keep close to him and be warmed by the heat of his skin. This was it, he knew. It wasn't too rushed, or too soon. This felt good, and right, and he didn't want to hold back anymore.

He cleared his throat, the sound altogether too loud in the small, intimate space they'd created between them. "If you say it first I'll say it back."

Harry bit his lip. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Louis replied, heart rabbiting in his chest. He bent over Harry, ignoring the mess he'd created on his stomach, and kissed him, trying to pour everything he felt behind those three little words into Harry's mouth, to make him understand. He felt like Harry did, because he kissed back with just as much fervour, hands cradling Louis face tenderly.

Louis had just started rocking his hips, Harry's half hard cock sliding along the crack of his arse, when the front door slammed.

"Louis? You home?"

They both froze, eyes wide. Harry's mouth opened and shut helplessly, and Louis scrambled off him to hover by the door. "Yeah I'm here!" he called back, "Just getting changed!"

Liam called something else, but Louis didn't hear, too busy throwing Harry's clothes at him, fumbling around on the floor for his jeans. He jammed one leg into them, then the other, and hopped on the spot, cursing Liam for being home early.

He could tell Harry was panicking. His eyes were wild, jaw set as he wiped off his sticky stomach with a spare tshirt and then tried to button his shirt. Louis could see his fingers shaking, and when he'd pulled his top back on he went over, knocking Harry's hands away and doing it himself.

"Love," he said softly, waiting until he had eye contact. All he saw there was abject terror, so he left the top few buttons undone and pulled Harry in to hug him. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," Harry whimpered, "He's gonna find out! God, what have we done? What are we going to do?!"

"Breathe, to start," Louis answered, rubbing a hand up and down Harry's back in what he hoped was a comforting way. "It's going to be fine," he said, and he really hoped he was right.

There was no other way to deal with this; they had to face it head on.

"Okay, we're going to go out there," Louis said, voice shaky to his own ears, "And we're going to say hi to Liam. How about you let me do the talking?" Harry nodded. Louis leaned up to press a quick kiss to his lips. "I love you," he said, and Harry managed a watery smile.

"I love _you_."

Louis let out a breath and threaded his fingers through Harry's. "Okay, let's do this."

 

*****

 

Liam was in the kitchen, thumbing through his phone with his back to Louis. He turned when he heard them approaching, the greeting on his lips dying when he saw Louis' hand encased in someone else's.

"Hi, Li," Louis said. Harry's palm was sweaty in his, the tension radiated off him in waves. "You're home early," he said pointedly.

"Yeah, sorry," Liam said, though the apology in his tone was lost under his blatant staring at Harry. "Change of plan. I was going to go to the gym but Zayn texted me asking if I wanted to go out, so I came back here for a shower. Sorry if I interrupted anything." He shook himself then, seeming to remember his manners, and he approached Harry, arm outstretched. "Hello, mate. Sorry, don't think we've met before."

Harry took his hand and shook it, but he didn't say anything in reply. Liam frowned.

"Li," Louis said quietly, squeezing Harry's hand tight. Liam turned his attention to him expectantly. "This is Harry. Do you...do you remember I told you about him? From college?"

Silence hung over them for a few seconds while Liam caught on. His eyes grew wide, looking between Louis and Harry and their hands held between them.

"Right," he said eventually, "I remember...You told me you wouldn't do anything."

"I know," Louis said weakly, "I'm sorry, I just, we..." he rolled his lips into his mouth and looked up at Harry, who still had a terrified look in his eyes. "We couldn't help it."

"Where were you this weekend?" Liam asked, and Louis winced.

"With Harry. He had a family wedding, I was his guest."

"Oh, Louis,' Liam said, "Why did you keep it from me?"

"Because," Louis floundered, "You told me to stay away. You told me I couldn't have him!"

"I thought it was just a passing thought! If you'd told me you were serious about him I...well, I would have helped you!"

Louis suddenly felt like a giant idiot. All this time, all the sneaking around, and he could have had Liam at his back, like he had done for most of his life. He and Harry could have been spending time here, safe, with Liam as another layer of security.

"Don't get me wrong, I still think this is dangerous as hell and I really bloody hope you know what you're doing. I just wish you'd said something to me. It's what I'm here for!"

"Li," Louis choked, "I'm so sorry."

Liam flung an arm around his shoulders, a little awkwardly where Harry was still gripping his hand, "Come here, you twat. I can't believe you didn't tell me you were with someone! Honestly, Lou, I know you, and I know you wouldn't think of doing anything like this unless it was serious. You know I'd do anything for you. Whatever you need me to do, I'll help, okay?'

The overwhelming rush of love for his best friend was staggering. Louis reached out to squeeze Liam's hand, and got a kiss on the forehead in return.

"You can't tell Zayn," Louis begged, "Please, Li. I know you want to be honest with him, but not about this, please."

"Zayn from college?" Harry asked quietly, the first words he'd spoken since they'd left Louis' bedroom.

Louis nodded. "He's seeing Liam," he explained. "It's been a couple of weeks."

"I think he'd keep it a secret too," Liam said slowly. "But okay, I won't say anything."

"Thanks."

"Thank you," Harry said bravely, though he still looked scared, "For agreeing to help us."

Liam smiled, turning to Louis and jerking his head at Harry. "I like him already. And you were right," he said in a stage whisper. "He is gorgeous."

Harry blushed, ducking his head. Louis dropped their hands and wrapped an arm around Harry's waist, pulling him close. Liam winked.

"Okay, I'm running a bit late now after you dropped that bombshell on me, so I'm gonna grab a shower and then I'll leave you to it, yeah?" He clapped them both on the shoulder, and then moved past them down the hall to the bathroom.

Harry looked like his knees were going to give out, so Louis moved them so he was propped up against the kitchen counter.

"I can't believe it," Harry said, shaking his head, "He's so nice, I thought that was going to go so badly."

"Me, too," Louis admitted with a huff of disbelief. "But this is good, yeah? Now we've got Liam on our side."

Harry ducked his head down, kissing Louis soundly.

"You okay?" Louis asked.

"Uh huh, thought I was gonna faint or something, but I think I'm fine now."

'"Good," Louis glanced at the timer on the over, "It's getting late. Think you're up to driving home?"

Together they gathered up Harry's things and called a goodbye to Liam, and then started the drive to Harry's house. Though Harry relaxed through the drive, his hand on its place on Louis' thigh as he hummed along to the radio, Louis only got more tense. He tried to relax, tried to focus on kissing Harry goodnight and promising to see him tomorrow, but he just couldn't.

The worry was there all through the journey back to his own flat, even when he'd showered and crawled into bed, burying his head into the pillows to try and catch a scent of Harry. He couldn't shake that awful feeling of foreboding, like things were only going to get much, much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Chapter title comes from All This and Heaven Too by Florence and the Machine


	10. keep your eyes on me

It was still there days later, that ball of anxiety knotted in his stomach. He couldn't lose the constant nagging feeling at the back of his skull; it was there all through his classes, and all through lunch when he was sat with Zayn and Niall. Louis could barely look Zayn in the eye, feeling heavy with guilt for asking Liam to hide things from him. He was distracted, jumpy, hardly able to concentrate on walking in a straight line down the corridors. First he got scared that he and Harry would be found out, then he got angry that they had to hide at all, and then finally he just became sad and wanted to cry from the unfairness of it all. Harry tried to comfort him with wandering hands and gentle kisses on the drive back to Louis', and pressed him into the sheets in his bedroom, but even the tight grip of Harry's hands on his hips couldn't fully take his mind off it. Louis could tell Harry was feeling it too, no matter how much he tried to cover it up.

Their need to be closer to each other meant they were getting less strict with their behaviour at school. For the past couple of days Louis had snuck into the dance studios whenever Harry was in there, regardless of who might be walking past, and Harry in turn had begun bringing him cups of tea again. More often than not Louis would walk into his studio to find tea on his desk, sometimes even when he didn't even have Harry's class that period. Louis couldn't bring himself to tell Harry to stop it, though. He needed little things like that as much as Harry did, to reassure themselves that they were still okay. Liam finding out had shaken them both, and if Louis had his way now, Harry would always been in his line of sight. It was clingy, Louis knew, but he was desperate enough to keep this thing between them safe that he tried not to give it much thought.

Two days after their confrontation with Liam, a Friday, the two of them were curled around each other on Louis' sofa watching the tv, the channel left on old reruns of _Friends_. Liam was out at the gym and wasn't expected back until the evening, so Harry and Louis had free reign of the house until then. It would have been nice, if only Louis could stop fidgeting. There was too much going on inside his head to be able to settle. Harry knew it too; he kept looking at Louis out of the corner of his eye, sighing heavily every now and again at his restlessness.

The third episode finished, and Harry stood abruptly, dislodging Louis so he toppled over to the side. He steadied himself with one hand and blinked up at Harry bewilderedly.

"What are you doing?" he whined, making grabby hands. "Come back."

Harry neatly dodged his grasp, though, stepping back out of reach. "Let's go out," he said.

"What, really?" Louis shook his head, "I'm tired, Haz, it's been a long week. Can't we just stay in?" He stood, pulling Harry in by his hips, "I'll make it worth your while..."

Harry accepted the kiss he offered, but he was adamant. "Exactly, it's been a tough week. I think we need it...please, Lou?" he wheedled. "I want to go out."

"We _can't_ , though. You know that."

"I don't mean anywhere around here. Let's go out of town, find a place we've never been to before, where nobody is going to know us. You never know...it might even be fun."

Louis knew he wasn't going to win this one. With a sigh, he let Harry drag him to the bedroom to get changed. He griped and moaned, but helped Harry find a pair of Liam's jeans that fitted him (but only just; he really did have stupidly long legs), and found a shirt that was a bit big on himself but fitted Harry perfectly. Louis left on the jeans he'd been wearing all day in a statement of rebellion, but did change his white tee for a black one. He headed for the bathroom to restyle his hair while Harry just shook out his curls and fished a blue bandana out from his school bag, which he tied around his neck.

Leaving Harry to call a taxi, Louis fired off a text to Liam letting him know what was going on. Liam called him straight back, telling him to be careful and not do anything stupid (Louis chose to ignore the latter piece of advice, of course) and warned him of the possibility of him staying the night at Zayn's.

As if he could hear Louis' grin, he sighed heavily and said, "No, that does not mean you get to fuck on every surface in the flat."

"Oh, but Li," Louis teased, "You won't be here to know which surfaces we do it on, will you?"

"Louis, I swear to god if you fuck in the-"

"Bye, darling!" Louis spoke obnoxiously loudly, "Have fun with Zayn!"

Liam grumbled, but he still told Louis he loved him, which Louis took to be a victory.

Harry called from the front door that the taxi had arrived, so Louis pocketed his wallet, keys and phone and headed out. It was a half hour drive to the next town over, so Harry insisted they split the fare. He chatted happily to the driver all the way over, finding out the best places to go. By the sounds of it, 'Astoria' nightclub was the place to be on a Friday night.

Harry dragged him along by the hand until they found the club and joined the back of the queue to get in. The bouncer on the door looked Harry up and down, a weird glint in his eyes that had Louis frowning and wrapping an arm around Harry's waist, hustling him past the burly security guys and quickly paying for both their entries. Harry just sent him a knowing glance, and pulled Louis up to the bar, ordering for both of them. They found an empty booth, squeezing in on one side, and Harry handed him a shot glass full of clear liquid.

"To us," he announced, clinking the glasses together like they were champagne flutes, and then he tipped his head back, throwing the vodka down his throat.

It was clear he meant business, with the aim of the game being to get as drunk as possible as fast as he could. Louis matched him shot for shot, ordering them mojitos when they finished the first round. An hour later, he was actually feeling pretty good. The bass of the music in the club pounded through his chest, making all the sounds around him blur into one noise of excited chatter and laughter from other people. Having had more experience with drinking, he could hold his alcohol better than Harry could, and although his vision was fuzzy around the edges, Harry was further gone, looking around the club blearily.

Harry drained his mojito, slamming the glass down on the table. "Oh! I love this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbcCG7PkI18)! Let's dance!" he cried above the pounding music, and grabbed Louis' hand without waiting for a reply. Harry weaved in and out of the people on the dance floor, positioning them right in the centre of the crowd with the mirror ball hanging directly above them. There were people all around them, some jostling them as they tried to squeeze past, but Louis barely noticed them, transfixed by the way Harry was beginning to dance.

Louis didn't know where he'd learned to dance like _this_. His practised elegance shone through in the way he moved his hips seamlessly, arms raised above his head. His shirt rode up, tantalising Louis with a glimpse of his pale skin. Louis couldn't look away, completely transfixed by the long lines of his body, by how _good_ he looked, so in his element.

He looked so good, in fact, that other people were starting to notice. Louis saw a few heads turn towards him from both men and women, appreciating eyes roving up and down his body. Harry remained oblivious, but Louis saw, and he didn't like it one bit. Alcohol brought out his jealous side in a big way, and it was harder to control when everything was slightly blurry. Diagonally from them, he saw two guys whispering to each other, pointing at Harry and grinning to each other in a way that made Louis' jaw clench.

Harder than he meant to, he yanked Harry to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. He shot daggers at anyone who looked like they wanted to approach Harry, looking them up and down with what he hoped was a scathing expression. It seemed to work, because no one actually came near them. The two guys eyed Louis liked they'd gladly do anything to get him out of the way, but they kept their distance.

Still, Louis thought, it couldn't hurt to hammer the message home. Louis slid a hand up Harry's shoulder, then laced his fingers into his hair and pulled gently so Harry tipped his head to the right, exposing the skin of his neck. Louis latched his mouth to the soft skin just below his ear, licking and biting and pulling the blood to the surface so that when he leaned back again there was a bright red mark on Harry's neck. Louis smirked as he admired his handiwork; that angry, possessive side of him had calmed now Harry was marked as _his_.

Harry shifted his hips then, pressing forwards and letting Louis feel the hardness in his jeans. Louis looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow, and Harry blushed, pupils wide and dark, and squirmed in his arms. Quickly glancing around them to check no one was obviously staring, Louis moved his hands around to Harry's arse, splaying his hands so his little finger just touched the tops of Harry's thighs. Holding Harry steady he pushed his hips towards him a little way, just pressing them together. Harry dropped his head to Louis' shoulder, whining in his ear. His own hands came up to clamp Louis' biceps.

"You like that?" Louis asked, just loud enough for Harry to hear him, and felt Harry nod. He shifted a little, moving so he could slot a thigh between Harry's, and encouraged Harry to come closer. It must have looked obscene, the two of them in the middle of the dance floor grinding against each other, Harry getting himself off on Louis' thigh, but Louis didn't care; all he knew was how hot this was, how stunning Harry was with his lips parted, eyes closed, breathing heavily into Louis' neck as the multicoloured lights of the club flashed over his face.

First hair pulling, now marking. Harry was gradually making Louis aware of his kinks, something Louis was fully intending to explore at a later date. Now, though, all his attention was focused on Harry against him. With every sway of Harry's hips he could feel himself getting harder and harder, and he knew he had to do something. As one of Harry's hands slid down his back to palm at his bum, Louis craned his neck over the crowd, looking for the bathrooms. When he spotted them, he pulled away, grabbing one of Harry's hands and pulling without any explanation. Harry stumbled after him, clearly drunker than Louis had thought he'd been, following Louis to the bathrooms without question.

The bathroom was dimly lit and seemed noisier than the rest of the club with its lack of music. Men shouted to each other, jostling at the sinks. Louis walked straight past them, down to the cubicles at the end, and nudged Harry in ahead of him. When the door was locked behind them Louis steadied Harry against the wall of the cubicle, leaning up to steal a long, loose kiss from him before he sank down to his knees, ignoring the disgusting floor beneath him.

Had they not been drunk, Louis probably would have drawn it out a bit, teased Harry a little until he was begging, but all he could think of was getting his mouth around him, to feel him hot and thick on his tongue. He pulled Harry out from his jeans, gave his cock a quick couple of pumps and then couldn't wait anymore. Harry cried out as Louis' mouth enveloped him, but over the music from outside and the other voices in the bathroom, Louis was sure no one had heard it. He loved doing this, loved the way Harry tasted, felt, smelled, the way his hands always took up the same grip in his hair, the way he tried to hold on for as long as he could until he couldn't take it anymore. Louis nudged his mouth forward until Harry's cock touched the back of his throat and tightened his lips, and lifted a hand from Harry's leg to cup his balls, rolling them gently in his palm.

Harry's fingers tightened, so Louis went to town, lips sliding over him, pausing to suck at the head every now and then. When Harry suddenly tapped his shoulder he stopped there, dipping his tongue into Harry's slit. With one more muffled cry, Harry's hips twitched and he came, hot and messy. Louis swallowed him down and then licked him clean, tucking him back in neatly before he stood, knees aching a little from the hard floor.

Once he was on his feet, slightly unsteady from the alcohol, Harry pulled him in by his tshirt, attaching his mouth to Louis' and licking inside. His hand cupped Louis' hard cock through his jeans, squeezing lightly.

"Shall we go home?" he asked between kisses, and Louis nodded. Grinning, he took Harry's hand and lead them out of the bathroom, down the stairs to the bottom floor of the club and out into the cool night air. Harry latched himself to Louis' side while Louis tried to flag down a taxi, and once they had bundled themselves inside in a tangle of limbs he spent the entire drive home with his lips attached to Louis' neck. Louis felt the sting of a new bruise where Harry was worrying his skin, and he let a soft little gasp escape when Harry bit the fresh mark. It didn't really come as a surprise to Louis that he found he loved being marked by Harry as much as he loved marking him.

Louis fumbled with his wallet, paying the driver once they arrived home, and then together they staggered up to the flat.

"Really want you to fuck me, Lou," Harry breathed into his ear, as Louis tried to get the key in the door with fingers that felt a bit like rubber. "Think you can fuck me?"

Louis swallowed, throat suddenly tight, and nodded. Finally he got the key in, and Harry hustled them inside, pushing Louis in the direction of the living room.

"Lube," Louis muttered, "Need lube."

He headed straight for the bedroom, hand on the wall to steady himself. He knocked over a few things on his bedside table, dropping the lube to the floor. He cursed, giggling, and then snatched it up and grabbed a condom, staggering around to head back to Harry. Rounding the corner, he stopped dead at the sight of him naked from the waist down, bent over the back of the sofa.

"Harry," he choked, fingers tight around the bottle in his hand.

Harry looked over his shoulder, grinning mischievously. He winked slyly. Louis tripped forwards, fitting himself along Harry's back, cock pressed to the crack of his arse.

"Baby," he groaned, "You look so good."

Harry sighed, a long exhale, and arched his back down, presenting himself. Louis shook his jacket off his shoulders and pushed his jeans down enough to get his cock out, too impatient to do anything more. He fingered Harry open slowly, standing just to the side of him so he could reach his lips when Harry propped himself up and turned his face back towards him.

His cock was positively _aching_ , verging on being painful. He withdrew his fingers, wiping them on his shirt before rolling on the condom and slicking lube over himself, lining up to Harry's hole all with surprising efficiency. Though his mind was still fuzzy he focused hard on the noises Harry made, listening to him to know when to stop, when to push further in. Harry really did make such lovely noises, mewling when his breath hitched at the press of Louis' cock inside him. Louis bottomed out, holding there for a minute until Harry pushed his hips back, and then he rolled his hips slowly, pushing his cock deep. With the thrusts of his hips he smoothed a hand up Harry's back and grabbed a handful of his hair, tugging on it lightly, then slightly harder when a litany of 'yes, god, Lou, _yes_ ,' tumbled from Harry's lips.

Louis didn't know how he'd got this lucky, to fall in love with this boy who, amazingly, loved him back.

"Lou," Harry said into the sofa cushions, "Close."

Louis doubled his efforts, skin slapping skin, sweat prickling his back. Steadying Harry's hips with one hand, he let go of Harry's hair and jammed that hand under Harry to wrap around his cock, jerking him at the same time as his movements.

"M'gonna- _Lou_ -" Harry gasped desperately.

"Go on, baby."

Harry stilled, and then came into Louis' hand with a little cry, fists clenched into the material of the cushions, head tipped all the way forwards. Louis got him through it, heat gathering in the pit of his stomach, and then let himself go, coming into his condom as he plastered himself to Harry's back.

"Love you," Louis murmured to Harry's sweaty skin, and heard Harry's muffled voice say the same back.

Slowly, Louis pulled out, tying off the condom and throwing it away, before coming back to Harry, helping him up. Harry giggled, leaning heavily into Louis as they meandered their way to Louis' bedroom. Louis dropped Harry down into the sheets and left him splayed out like a starfish while he went to get them both water, already mindful of their hangovers the next day. He drained his glass in the kitchen, then nudged Harry until he'd drunk his. Only then did he let himself collapse down next to him, wrapping the boy's long limbs around himself.

He looked at Harry, boneless himself and blissed out, already seeing the edges of his vision going dark. Harry was still laughing quietly, so Louis poked him in the ribs, smiling himself.

"What's funny?" he slurred.

Harry's smile widened. "Liam is so going to know we fucked on the sofa. Imagine his _face_."

And Louis had to admit that was quite funny. He chuckled feebly, smile still etched on his face as the darkness closed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> Chapter title comes from Shut Up and Dance, by Walk the Moon.


	11. i was the match and you were the rock

Louis sat in the car outside Harry's house, engine idling, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He peered through the windshield, squinting through the driving rain at Harry's front door, and then looked at his watch. It was unusual for Harry to be late; usually he would be out of the door within seconds of Louis pulling up.

As it was, Louis' day hadn't gotten off to a great start already, and it was only half past eight in the morning. Liam had woken up late and rushed into the shower before Louis, making him so late he had to forgo breakfast if he wanted to make it to Harry's on time. Then the fuse in the kettle had blown, making all the lights in the flat short circuit. Now, on top of that, it was a miserable day, grey and overcast, rain hammering down on the car so fast the wipers could barely keep up. To sum up, he was damp from the rain, tired, stressed, late, and he hadn't had his morning tea. Things were not going well. 

Louis looked at his watch again, frowning. At this rate he'd really have to put his foot down if they wanted make it to college on time. Just at that moment, Harry's front door swung open and he appeared, bag held over his head as he ran down to the car and chucked himself in, shaking his already wet hair out.

"Ew," he said, leaning over to kiss Louis before reaching around for his seatbelt.

"Morning," Louis replied, mustering half a smile, then turned the car around and sped off down the road.

"Sorry I'm late," Harry said, settling down into the seat and fiddling with the radio, "My alarm didn't go off."

"Don't worry," Louis told him, glaring impatiently at a red light until it turned green. "I was late, too. Liam stole the shower and the kettle broke. Today's just been one shitty thing after another. Fuck, it's not even nine in the morning."

Harry glanced at him. "We could just go back to bed?" he suggested. "No one would know we were even anywhere near the college. I could call in sick?"

It sounded tempting, but Louis sighed, shaking his head apologetically, "We shouldn't, love. You could probably get away with it, but if I called in sick there would be no one to take over at this short notice; I'd leave them stranded."

Harry shrugged, "After college, then. We'll go back to yours and order something in and watch a film, yeah?"

Louis smiled genuinely across at him. "Sounds like heaven."

It really did. Louis considered himself a responsible adult (though Liam would disagree, of course), and as much as he wanted to he couldn't just call in sick and go and curl up with Harry. He had too much to do, classes to take and essays to mark and performances to plan. If he could just get through the day though, then he could have Harry to himself again that night. That would make it all worth it. He'd have to convince Liam to go out again; maybe he'd bribe him with beer and promises of washing up duty, that usually worked when he needed Liam to do something for him. He'd probably have to promise not to fuck Harry in the living room again too (Harry had been right, Liam's face when he found the empty condom wrapper half under the sofa had been _hilarious_ ), but he could probably find a way around that.

He didn't want to drop Harry off outside the college like they usually did because of the weather, so he screeched into the car park, parking haphazardly in a tiny corner at the back. There didn't seem to be anyone around, so Harry ducked out first, running full pelt for the cover of the building. Louis hung back, making sure he had everything and that he looked mostly presentable, and then followed behind at a distance, jacket held over his head. His first class, tenth years, was already assembled. Louis could hear them from down the corridor, chatting loudly and just generally drawing attention to the fact that they didn't have a teacher present. Louis banged into the room, his sudden presence having the intended effect of getting silence to fall over the class as they all swivelled around to look at him.

Louis strode to his desk, hanging his soaking jacket on the back of his chair and dropping his bag, before snatching up the board pen. "Sorry I'm late, ladies and gents," he said with his back to them as he scribbled _Death Of A Salesman_ on the board. "Glad to hear you're all so enthusiastic in telling each other what you did over the weekend. Let's hope you have the same attitude towards Arthur Miller."

He had his tenth years until lunch time, and weirdly, as the morning went on, they made Louis relax a little out of his bad mood. They were genuinely good kids, clearly trying to do what he wanted them to do, and putting a lot of effort into the performances he asked them to create. By the end of class, Louis did feel marginally better. Glancing at the time, he reasoned he had five minutes to see Harry before he met Zayn and Niall in the staffroom. The promise of seeing him after college wasn't enough, Louis didn't think he could last the whole day without him.

He packed his bag up, looping his still-damp jacket through the strap and hefting it onto his shoulder, and then set off in the direction of the dance studios. The hallways were busy, students all bustling in the direction of the cafe's to get lunch or to the locker rooms to change their books over. Louis dodged in and out of them, nodding his head in greeting to the students who waved hello.

Half way to the dance studios, he was intercepted by a cry of, "Mr. Tomlinson!"

Louis quirked an eyebrow, unfamiliar with being addressed so formally, and turned to find one of the office staff hurrying towards him. She was shorter than him, wearing a fitted trouser suit, with blonde hair cut into a bob, and Louis recognised her as Hazel, secretary to the Dean of the college.

"How can I help?" Louis smiled warmly (though he didn't feel very warm) at her as she stopped in front of him, slightly out of breath.

"I'm glad I caught you," Hazel said, "Mr Williams would like a word with you in his office. It's a matter of some urgency."

Louis smiled faded from his face. The Dean of the college wanted a word with him? As a matter of urgency? Everyone knew that 'some urgency' was always code for 'it's fucking important get here now', and whatever the matter was, it was never usually something positive.

"Of course, lead the way!" he told Hazel, following the clack of her heels back down the polished floor of the corridor. Frantically, he ran through the last few days of college, trying his hardest to pinpoint anything that had gone badly. Was he being too lax with his grading? Not setting enough homework? Was his teaching not up to standard?

Once Hazel had lead to him to the floor with all the offices for senior members of staff on, she left him sitting on the crisp leather seats outside the Dean's office, sitting back down behind her own desk and picking up her phone to call through that he was here. Louis was still lost, still couldn't think of anything he'd done wrong that would warrant a visit to the-

Oh no.

Louis' blood turned to ice in his veins.

_They knew._

They knew about him and Harry. Somehow, and he had no idea how, they'd found out.

His chest seized, throat constricting so tight he felt like he could barely breathe. He gripped the sides of the chair he sat on, stomach rolling, nausea twisting in his abdomen. Suddenly the room he was sat in felt too small, too hot. He could feel sweat beginning to break out on his forehead.

Instinctively, he jammed a hand into his pocket, grabbing his phone and unlocking it with trembling fingers. He had to warn Harry, tell him to get out of the college before they came looking for him, too.

 _Harry_ , he typed, _you need to leave the-_

The wide mahogany door of the principals office swung open, revealing Mr Williams. He stood there in his expensive black suit, looming over Louis. He had an air of intimidation about him that said you didn't want to get on the wrong side of him, heavy brow creased disapprovingly as he noticed the phone in Louis' hands.

"Mr Tomlinson," he said, voice deep and gravelly. "Come in, please."

Louis obeyed on legs like felt like jelly, locking his phone without sending the message to Harry and tucking it back in his pocket. The click of the door shutting behind him meant he was trapped, caged in with no way out, being scrutinised by the man in front of him.

"Sit, please," Mr Williams said, sliding into the high backed black leather chair behind his polished wooden desk. Louis did so gingerly, hands curled into fists in his lap. His heart pounded, pulse thumping in his ears. He took a deep breath, trying to appear somewhat calm, schooling his face into an expression of curiosity and mild concern. He wasn't trained in drama for nothing; if there was anytime to put his skills to work, it was now. He made a conscious effort to relax, leaning back in his chair, forcing his shoulders down and out, aiming for an air of quiet confidence.

"How are you, Louis?' Mr Williams asked, linking his fingers and placing them on the desk in front of him. "I hope you've settled in properly here now?"

Louis nodded, "Yes, thank you. I'm really enjoying myself."

"I'm glad to hear it. I trust all your classes are going well?"

"They are, I believe." Louis crossed one leg over the other, "Is there something wrong with the way I'm conducting my classes? Is that why you want to talk to me?"

"Ah, not as such," Mr Williams pulled a file from out of the drawer next to him, opening the cover to reveal one sheet of handwritten A4 paper. "I'm afraid the matter I wish to talk to you about is...of some delicacy."

Louis' jaw clenched. He suddenly wished with everything he had that he'd taken up Harry's offer to go back to bed that morning. "Oh?"

"Hm," the Dean grimaced slightly. "Louis, there's no easy way for me to say this. This morning I had a meeting with someone who informed me of something that was, quite frankly, rather disturbing."

Louis nodded evenly, breathing out slowly through his nose, bracing himself. "Go on."

Mr Williams looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I was informed that you had been seen with one of the pupils attending this college in a club last Friday night, and that the behaviour between the two of you was not quite, well, _appropriate_."

And, god, Louis felt so fucking stupid. Of _course_ it had been last Friday. The one night they'd tried to be a normal couple, they'd been caught out. He should have known better. There had been so many people in that club, and they hadn't been far enough out of town to be complete strangers. He felt like throwing up and banging his head onto the gleaming desk simultaneously. Harry, poor Harry, had only been trying to make him happy, and Louis had fucking blown it because he'd gotten too drunk. He'd let his guard down, allowed himself to get lost in the crowd, too wrapped up in Harry against him.

"Of course, I can't name the person who claims to have seen you, for confidentiality reasons, but I did take a statement from them." At this Mr Williams paused to reach for a pair of wire framed glasses, pushing them onto his nose. He cleared his throat, "The witness says that they saw the two of you drinking in the nightclub, and saw you dancing together." His eyes scanned down the document until he got to the end, "The statement ends with the witness saying they saw you leading the student by the hand out of the club at about two in the morning. The student in question is a Mr. Harry Styles, who I believe is in your twelfth year class." He finished there, looking up to meet Louis' eyes. 

Louis let a beat pass, and then he sat up straight in his chair. "That's ridiculous!" he stated. His own voice sounded rather far away, like it was coming from someone else. "That's complete and utter nonsense. I wasn't even in a club on Friday night! Who would make up such an awful rumour like that?! Mr. Styles is my student! Our relationship is strictly professional." He spread his palms out in front of him in earnest, "I wouldn't dream of extending that relationship any further, with Mr. Styles or with any other student."

The Deans eyes narrowed fractionally, scrutinizing him. "I understand, Louis, but you must see that these are very serious accusations, of which there will be severe consequences if there is any truth to them," he held up a hand before Louis could interrupt. "Of course, as someone in my employment I am inclined to believe you, but at the moment it is one word against another.

"There will be a formal investigation," Louis' mouth dropped open, "and we will be looking further into the allegations as a matter of standard procedure. The investigation will be carried out here in the college as a private matter, but if there is any, uh, _incriminating_ evidence, shall we say, then it is my duty to inform the police and have them take over."

Louis felt his mouth pop open. Visions of him being questioned and handcuffed and dragged away to a cold metal cell flashed through his mind. He'd be ruined. Harry would be taken from him and he'd lose Liam and his mum would cry-

Louis raised his clenched fist to his mouth, disguising his sob as a cough. 

Williams was none the wiser, digging around in a desk drawer to his left and pulling out a pen and a thick sheet of paper emblazoned with the college crest. He settled his gaze on Louis once more. "I understand that this is all a bit of a shock to you, Louis. Allegations like these are, admittedly, rare, but when they do come about they are most troubling." Louis just nodded. "There will be, of course, the opportunity for you to compile your own statement in defense of yourself...but judging by your reaction it is clear you are deeply upset, which is understandable. Maybe you could come back another day-"

"I'd like to give it now." Louis sat up straighter in his chair, smoothing his sweaty palms down the front of his trousers. 'I have nothing to hide, and I may as well get it out of the way now."

That was a lie, of course; he had everything to hide. They'd want to know everything, go through his life with fine toothed comb. And they'd find something eventually; somewhere either he or Harry would slip up, no matter hard they tried. The quicker he got his statement out the way, he reasoned, the more they'd think he wasn't lying because they'd given no time to think up a story. 

His answer was clearly the one Williams had been expecting, because he nodded and picked up his pen, poising it over the paper. "Very well. Now, let me see, Louis. Just give me a rundown of where you were Friday night."

Louis nodded, watching the pen scribbling away as he started to speak. "Well, uh. After the college day ended, I packed my things up and went straight home. I didn't leave my flat for the rest of the night. And that's...that's actually all there is to tell."

"Okay, and were you with anyone else that we can verify that with?"

"Yes," Louis croaked, "Yeah. I was with my- my boyfriend. Liam."

"Liam...?"

"Payne."

Mr. Williams jotted down the name, nodding. "Can I take a contact number for Liam, please?"

Louis fished his phone out of his pocket, reeling off Liam's number. Mr Williams read it back to him, and then set his pen down. "Is that everything? Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

Louis shook his head no.

"Okay, then. Thank you for your time. I apologise for dropping this on you with very little warning, but I felt it best to start the proceedings as soon as possible so we can get the issue dealt with quickly. I'll be in touch soon with more information about the investigation."

Louis took his cue, standing from the chair. "Thank you," he said, though he wasn't sure what for, and then picked up his bag and moved to the door.

Once outside and away from the offices, his evenly paced stride broke into a jog. Yanking out his phone, he opened a new message to Liam, taking two or three tries to get a coherent sentence out with the shaking of his fingers.

_Liam, DO NOT answer your phone to anyone until I've spoken to you. Please, I mean it. It's about me and Harry. DON'T answer your phone._

Louis skidded into the hall with the studios in it, chest heaving, verging on a panic attack. He prayed Harry was still in one of them, that he hadn't gone off to the library or to get lunch. By some miracle, he was still there, in the studio at the far end, looking like he was just cooling down in front of the mirror. Louis burst in, bag knocking against the glass door, startling Harry.

"Hi!" Harry beamed, straightening out of the stretch he was in and turning to Louis. "I was just about to text you..." he trailed off when he came closer, taking in Louis' ashen expression, the trembling in his lower lip. "Lou? Are you okay?"

Louis ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it furiously.

"Louis?"

Harry came closer still, but didn't touch him, "What's wrong? You're scaring me."

"They know," Louis groaned, scrubbing at his eyes. "Baby, they _know_. Someone saw us on Friday at the club and they told the Dean."

Harry's eyes widened, all the blood flooding from his face alarmingly quickly. He shook his head from side to side frantically, "What? No, no they can't have! How do they know? We were so careful!"

Louis scoffed humourlessly, "Not careful enough! Someone recognised us and reported us. I don't even know who it was." He shook his head, holding back the lump that was building in his throat.

Harry looked on the verge of tears himself, watery eyes shining. He wrung his hands together in front of himself desperately, "Christ. I'm so sorry, Lou. This is all my fault, isn't it? I'm the one who wanted us to go out! I should have just stayed in with you like you wanted us to!"

"Dont. Don't say that," Louis hushed him, itching to wrap his arms around Harry and soothe him. "If anything, Haz, it's my fault. I should have been paying closer attention to the people around us. Listen, though, we don't have time for this now. I think it's best if you go home for the rest of the day."

"I'm not leaving you here-"

"They're going to come looking for you," Louis said over the top of him. "They've already taken a statement from me, and you're next. We need to go home and talk about this, sort a story out. Have you been signed into any classes today?" Harry shook his head, "Good, just go and sign yourself out of college and then go straight home."

"What about you...?"

"If we both go now it's going to look really suspicious, isn't it? I'll be fine- I'll finish my classes and then come and get you, yeah?"

"Okay," Harry gave in, shoulders slumping a little. "Fine. I'll just tell mum I'm not feeling too good."

Louis though for a moment, "Why don't you go to mine? Liam's at work. Just go and hide out there until I come home, all right?" Harry nodded, more accepting of that option. Louis rummaged around in his bag for his keys, unclipping the keys to the flat and dropping them into Harry's outstretched palm.

"Right," he commanded, "Now go. Try not to let too many people see you." He glanced at his watch. "I've got to get to class."

"Be careful," Harry said. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to fold himself into Louis' arms, but he bravely held himself back. "I'll see you at home."

Louis nodded, allowed himself to give Harry's hand a lightning quick squeeze, and then hurried out of the studio to his next class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much if you're still here following this! Hope this chapter was okay.
> 
> Chapter title comes from Things We Lost in the Fire, by Bastille.


	12. sit tight like bookends

When Louis got back to the flat that evening, he was met with an eerie silence. The only sounds came from the hum of the refrigerator, and the creak of the floorboards at the entrance to the living room. There was odd feeling to the whole of the flat, like it was suspended in time for just that moment. The calm before the storm.

The door to his bedroom was shut. Louis paused outside, listening. There was no noise from within, so he pushed the door open just wide enough to slip through. The room was quiet, still, curtains drawn over the window and blocking what little daylight there was left. Louis let his bag slip off his shoulder and toed out of his shoes, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light. When the shapes of the furniture were clearer he made his way over to the bed, sitting down on the mattress next to the bump in the duvet.

"Hey," he said softly, pulling back the cover until Harry's head was revealed. His hair was a mess, tendrils escaping his bun and sticking out erratically from his face. He blinked up at Louis, eyes puffy and bloodshot, eyelashes still spiky. 

Harry sniffed. "Hi. Are you on your own?"

"Yeah, for now. Liam is organising getting Zayn over here, and I think he's going to bring Niall with him." Harry's eyes widened. He opened his mouth to say something but Louis stopped him, stroking a finger down his cheek, "We need to talk about this...get it all out in the open. I think they can help us, we can figure out what to do next." Harry didn't look convinced at all. Reluctantly, he nodded up at Louis.

Louis heart clenched just looking at him; he looked so young, so vulnerable, tightly wound up where he'd bundled himself into Louis' duvet. Louis couldn't help but wonder what on earth he'd done to him. He loved Harry, god, he loved him so fiercely he ached with it sometimes...but if he'd just left him alone, just until he'd finished college, they could have avoided this whole sorry mess. It had been, as usual, his inability to keep control when he was around Harry that had got them to where they were now.

Harry, with his uncanny ability to read Louis like a book, must have seen the conflict on his face. "What are you thinking about?" he whispered, eyes wide. "Do you want to break up with me?"

Louis snapped his head to look at him so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. "What?" he snapped, "Why the fuck would you even think that?"

Harry shrank back into his cocoon, "I, I just thought, you know, that you might think I'm too much risk, like for you, and that I'm...more bad than good. And I get if you want out, I mean-"

"Harry." Louis pinched the skin between his eyebrows between his forefinger and thumb. "Shut the fuck up. I can't believe you're even talking about that."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I was worried-"

Louis sighed loudly. He swung his legs into the bed, laying down beside Harry and pulling the duvet over their heads. He found Harry's hand in the dark and squeezed his fingers. Harry made a small, scared sound, burrowing his way closer to Louis, face pressed into his neck.

"What's going to happen?" he whispered, lips tickling Louis' skin. "What are we going to do?"

Louis inhaled, nose buried in Harrys hair. "I don't know," he said honestly. "Just...stick together?" he brushed his lips against Harry's forehead. 'And try and figure out what the fuck we're gonna do next."'

 

*****

 

A while later, the front door slammed. Harry flinched at the noise, shrinking further back into the covers. Louis heard Liam call his name, heard him talking to other people and the sound of footsteps crossing from the front door to the living room. He and Harry remained quiet, wrapped up in each other, until there was a gentle tap at the bedroom door.

"Lou?" Liam said, "You in there?"

Louis steeled himself, then extricated himself from Harry's death grip on his shirt and rolled out of bed. He padded over to the door and cracked it open to meet Liam's eyes. "Hey, Li."

"Hey, you okay?" Liam sounded worried, eyes full of concern. Just looking at him made Louis want to break apart and crumple into a heap on the floor. Instead he simply nodded, and chose not to reply lest he start screaming and never stop.

"Is Harry with you?" Liam asked, and Louis nodded again. "Okay. We're all in the living room...come see us when you're ready."

When Louis shut then door and turned back to the bed, he found Harry sat up, duvet pooled at his waist. He looked terrified, Louis could see it in his eyes, though he tried to hide it with his defiantly lifted chin and stiff shoulders.

"Are you ready?" he asked Louis.

"Are you sure you want to go out there? You could wait here for a bit, and I could talk to them and then come and get you?"

Harry was already shaking his head, shoving the blankets away and standing up. He rubbed his hands across his face and scrubbed his sleeve across his eyes, and then came to stand in front of Louis.

"You said a moment ago we had to stick together. I'm not hiding in here, not knowing what's going on, while you sit out there and talk about us. No," he said firmly, and reached for Louis' hand, "We're doing this together."

Louis lifted up onto his toes, kissing Harry soundly on the mouth. "We'll be okay, yeah? No matter what happens."

"Uh huh," Harry agreed, though they both new it wasn't a sure fire thing. "We'll be fine."

The walk from the bedroom to the living room felt like a walk to the gallows. Even with Harry behind him, a sure and strong presence at his back, Louis' heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. He squeezed Harry's hand, and Harry squeezed back reassuringly. They paused slightly at the doorway, just long enough to drop hands by mutual agreement, and then Louis stepped inside.

Three pairs of eyes watched him walk to the sofa and sit down. Harry followed closely, sitting next to him, the length of his thigh pressed up against Louis' own. On looking up, Liam was looking at Louis, sat next to Zayn and Niall, who were both staring openly at Harry.

"All right?" Liam directed at Louis, and Louis nodded, clearing his throat.

"Thanks for coming over, boys," he rasped. "I know you're wondering what's going on...though, to be honest, I don't really know how to explain." He faltered there, losing his nerve under the intense gaze of the three sat opposite him. He could feel his chest tightening, the beginnings of panic beginning to creep up his throat.

"Lou," Liam said, voice steady as always. "I got three calls from a number I didn't recognise this afternoon. I didn't pick any of them up."

"Thanks, Li."

"Is anyone going to tell us what's going on?" Niall said, still looking between them bewilderedly. "'Cos you're all being really cryptic and I don't know what the hell's happening."

"You don't know Harry, do you?" Louis asked, gesturing to the boy next to him. Niall shook his head no.

"I do," Zayn said. He watched Harry carefully, eyes narrowed slightly, like he was beginning to figure out the situation. "Harry Styles. Twelfth year. You're in Louis' Shakespeare class. I took your lot for music last year."

"Wait," Niall said, "You go to the college?" Out of the corner of Louis' eye he saw Harry nod. Niall looked even more confused. "But, why are you here? In Louis' flat?"

"I think I've got a pretty good idea," Zayn's voice was icy, eyes hard as he looked back to Louis. "I caught you loitering outside his studio on your first day teaching his class. Then I saw him getting out of your car. Today, I heard rumours in the staffroom about something going on between a teacher and a student. It's all beginning to make sense. Oh, Louis. You _idiot_."

"Zayn-" Louis started, but Zayn interrupted him again, shifting forward so he sat on the edge of the sofa, elbows propped on his knees.

"How could you be so reckless? So _stupid?!_ Do you even realise the consequences of this? Did you even think?"

"Z..." Louis said weakly. He recoiled from him, leaning back and away from Zayn's accusing stare. "Please don't be angry with me...I don't even know what to tell you."

"Oh my god," Niall said, finally looking like he'd caught up. He gestured between Louis and Harry, "You two are...you've been...?"

"Seeing each other, yeah," Louis spoke past the lump in his throat. "For a while, now."

"What's _wrong_ with you?" Zayn demanded. Louis felt Harry stiffen beside him.

"Hey," he said sharply. "Don't talk to him like that. Nothing's wrong with him." Zayn shifted his glare to Harry, but Harry soldiered on regardless. "There's really not much to explain. I wanted him in the first place, just like he wanted me...it just kind of happened."

"It just kind of-" Zayn repeated, looking aghast. "What the _fuck_ -"

"Zayn," Liam intervened, "Calm down."

"And you knew!" Zayn rounded on Liam. "All this time. You knew they were together and you kept it from me!"

"I found out accidentally. You know I'd do anything to protect him, don't make me defend that."

Zayn and Liam were silent for a long minute, seemingly having a conversation with their eyes. Harry took the opportunity to take Louis' hand, winding his fingers' through Louis' and holding on tight.

Niall watched them. Louis didn't know what reaction to expect from him, but rather than anger it seemed to be curiosity instead. When he did speak, it was aimed directly at Harry. "Just answer me one thing," he said, and Harry nodded. "Who initiated...this?"

"Me," Harry said immediately. "Louis tried to say no, I could tell how hard he was trying to stop it, but I didn't stop. I know what you're trying to get at, and the answer is no. He's not taken advantage of me or forced me to do anything."

Niall nodded thoughtfully, falling silent again. Zayn had turned away from Liam, their silent conversation apparently over. "In the eyes of the law, what he's just said won't matter. He's in your care at the college; you're still the one responsible."

"I know," Louis said desperately. "That's why I wanted to tell you. Williams found out today; someone saw us when we went out last Friday. I just- shit, this is bigger than i thought it would be. It's getting out of control and I need your help, Z."

"Right, yeah. You want us to lie for you, you mean," Zayn challenged.

Louis' jaw clenched. "Look, if they can prove we're together, all hell will break loose. They won't listen to us, they won't understand. They'll fire me, possibly convict me, and throw Harry into counselling to help him get over the teacher that preyed on him and forced him into bed."

Harry jerked next to him, inhaling sharply. "Lou-" he protested.

"Don't say that," Liam said at the same time, shifting uncomfortably at Louis' words, "I know that's not what happened."

"That's all they'll see, Liam." Louis was firm. He could feel discomfort radiating off Harry in waves, and was sure if he looked over he would find him upset, but he pressed on, forcing the words out. "Z, you _know_ me. Just. I'm asking you to help us. Please."

Zayn shook his head slowly. "Everything I am tells me that I shouldn't accept this," he glanced at Niall, who inclined his head a little. "You're a fucking idiot for thinking that trying to sneak around college while you're sleeping with a student was ever something you could get away with."

"It was pretty reckless," Niall agreed. 'You can't hide that sort of thing easily."

"It's idiotic.' Zayn spread his palms out, 'Why was this ever an option for you? Why did you even consider it?"

"Him," Louis said quietly after a moment. "That's all I can tell you, Z. That's the only way I know how to explain it. Harry and I aren't very different from you and Li, it's just the situation we're in that makes it difficult."

Zayn looked back and forth between he and Harry for a moment, and then he sighed. "Fine. You're right, I do know you." He lifted his chin in Harry's direction, "He must be something special for you to risk this much." 

Louis released the breath he'd been holding, allowing himself to feel the first tendrils of hope in his chest. "He is," he nodded, holding Harry's hand like it was a lifeline. "Does that mean you'll help?"

Zayn watched him for a moment more, and then he nodded. "Yeah. I'll help."

Louis slumped back into the cushions. The wave of utter, overwhelming relief that crashed through him was almost too much to handle. Harry followed him back, ignoring the rest of them in favour of nuzzling in close and hiding his face in Louis' neck, exhaling a trembling breath. Louis looped an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his bicep. Liam had leaned in close to Zayn, kissing him gently in thanks, and then clapped a hand to Niall's shoulder.

"Okay," Zayn took charge, sitting up straight to survey them all. "We need to move fast. What's the plan?"

"There's going to be an investigation," Louis told him, running his free hand through Harry's hair. "That's what Williams called it, but that basically means he's going to go through every inch of my life to see if he can find any evidence about me and Harry."

"So you need to prove you're not together," Niall nodded. "How do we do that?"

"I kind of already laid down some foundations for that," Louis said nervously. "When I went in and gave my statement.' He felt Harry look up at him curiously.

"What did you say?" Liam asked.

Louis removed his hand from Harry's hair to rub at the back of his neck, avoiding Harry's eyes. "Erm. I panicked, a little. I said that you and I were together."

Harry pulled away from him, staring. Zayn's mouth dropped open.

Niall just chuckled. "Nice one. That's some quick thinking there."

Liam recovered surprisingly quickly, considering Louis words. "That's actually quite clever. Instead of denying your relationship, you lead them in a different direction."

"I'm beginning to regret saying I'd help you," Zayn grumbled. Louis prayed to the gods above he was joking.

"I don't like that," Harry stated, eyebrows creased together. "I really don't."

"Neither do I," Louis promised him. "No offence, Li."

"None taken. It's not exactly ideal, but we can work with it. We'll work on building a 'relationship'," Liam flicked his fingers in the air. "For when they want to talk to me. In the meantime, Harry has to lay low, keep quiet, stay away from you."

"You'll need to act equally as horrified as I did when Williams questioned me when they talk to you about us, okay?" Louis instructed Harry.

Harry nodded. "Can do."

"You can't drive Harry to school anymore," Niall put in, "Even dropping him a little way from the college is too risky."

"And maybe it's better if Harry went to his own home after classes for the next few days. Just while the investigation is being carried out," Liam suggested.

"He's right," Zayn spoke up. "And maybe think about deleting all your texts and calls to each other. Change your names in each other's phones. We're not going to give them any reason to think that there's anything going on.'

"Right," Liam carried on. "For the next few days, you're going to have to keep your distance from each other. This is going to be difficult, boys. But we can do it."

"God, this is going to be horrible," Louis dropped his head into his hands.

Harry murmured an assent, and rubbed a large palm over the top of Louis' back. "Yeah. We have to do it, though."

Liam nodded, looking grim. "I don't think you've got any other choice."

"Remember what you told me," Harry murmured, voice low, designed for Louis' ears only. "We're going to be fine."

Louis nodded, tried to smile. Truthfully, though, he didn't know if he believed that anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Chapter title comes from....well, it's probably obvious, I'll let you work it out :)


	13. bright blue city lights

Driving to school without Harry next to him in the car the next day was odd. Louis couldn't bring himself to listen to their cd, so the radio stayed silent. He hated the empty space next to him, and missed the continuous stream of idle chatter that Harry usually provided. Instead, he rolled down his window to listen to the noise of the traffic around him.

As of today, and for the foreseeable future, he was Louis Tomlinson: drama teacher and boyfriend of Liam Payne. They'd worked out a plan together last night; they'd met in their first year of Uni and had been together ever since. Though it didn't sit well with any of them, it had to be their safest bet. He and Liam had been friends long enough to know each other inside out, so Louis was confident that he'd be able to answer any questions thrown his way about their 'relationship'. Now all they had to do was wait for Liam to be questioned.

Louis had recieved an email the previous evening informing him of an observer that would be in his classes the next day. The email said that it was just standard procedure, just a precaution, but Louis could see through that bullshit a mile off. They would be there to watch how he and Harry behaved around each other. That in itself was terrifying- one wrong move from either of them and they'd blow their cover.

As planned, he and Harry kept their distance from one another, and Louis didn't see anything of him until their class in the afternoon. The observer, a short, stout, middle aged woman dressed in a grey blazer and matching knee length skirt, was already settled in her seat at the back of the class, clipboard and pen ready. Louis didn't bother to go and greet her- he didn't feel like he could be civil enough- so he paid her no mind, heading straight for his desk instead. Most of the students were already there too, including Harry, sat in his usual seat a couple of places across from the observer. Louis slung his jacket over the back of his desk chair, and pulled out his board pen.

Throughout the class, Louis could see his students slowly becoming aware that something was wrong. He could see it in their faces, their puzzled looks at his lack of jokes and clipped, monotonous tone. They were wary of him, and he saw a couple of them glance over to the observer numerous times. Many of them turned back to face Louis with expressions of dislike or frustration, which made Louis even more uncomfortable and made him want to reassure them.

He wouldn't, though, not under the intense gaze of the woman in the far corner. She watched him with squinted little beady eyes, scribbling on her clipboard every so often. The sound of her pen on the paper put Louis' teeth on edge. Harry was a clear point of interest to her; every so often she would stare openly at him, waiting for him to slip up.

Harry though, was perfect. He didn't look at Louis once, just kept his head down for the whole session. Louis knew this was just as painful for Harry as it was for himself, and only he knew his body well enough to recognise the tension in his shoulders, the hard set of his jaw though his expression was carefully neutral. Louis glanced at him a couple of times in his peripheral vision, and couldn't help the swell of pride in his chest.

When class was over, Harry got up, put his things away and left the room without a backward glance. The observer stood too, gave Louis a curt nod, and then followed the students trickling out into the hallway. Once the room was empty, Louis slumped into his chair, head in his hands. He hadn't anticipated this whole pretending not to be together thing would be this goddamn difficult. He'd done everything the boys had told him to do: deleted their texts to each other, changed Harry's name in his phone, not driven him into school...but it felt awful, like they really had broken up instead of just pretending to.

Louis' phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see a message from Liam.

 _Just had a call from the college_ , it read, _told them everything we planned. They're gonna call me in for a face to face chat soon xx_

Louis nodded to himself, then deleted it. Just before he could lock his phone again, another message came through, this time from 'Rob'.

_Need to talk to you. Studio 3 in ten._

Louis deleted that too,and then started gathering his belongings immediately. Harry wouldn't text him while they were on school premises unless it was important. This wasn't going to be good news, he could feel it in his gut.

Minutes later, he was making his way to the studios. He tried to be inconspicuous about it, trying not to look over his shoulder too many times. The halls were empty, next classes having started a few minutes ago, so Louis slipped into studio three unnoticed.

The lights were off, the only light coming from the hall outside. Louis fumbled towards the wall, hand patting along it to find the light switch. His fingers touched something warm and decidedly not plastic, and he squeaked in his throat, yanking his hand back.

"It's me," Harry said from the shadows, finding Louis' hand again and pulling him into the dark.

Louis sighed in relief and let Harry pull him in. Harry rested his cheek against Louis' temple, before he leant down and kissed him once hastily.

"Everything okay?" Harry asked, peering down at him. Louis couldn't make out much of his face in the dark, just the straight line of his nose and the curve of his top lip, but he could hear the concern in his voice.

He nodded, "So far. You did really well earlier by the way."

"Thanks. I could feel her looking at me all through class. It was horrible." Harry paused. "We have another problem, though."

Louis pulled back, half out of Harry's arms. "Oh, god. What is it?"

Harry shifted his weight from one foot to another. "The college called my mum. They told her about the investigation, about you, everything."

Louis' heart felt like it had dropped from his chest to his stomach. "Holy fuck. What did she say?"

"She said she knew nothing about it. She called me, and she wants to talk about it tonight." Harry blew a breath upwards so it ruffled his hair. "She sounded pretty angry."

"God, Haz. I'm so, so sorry-"

"What's there to be sorry for? No part of this is your fault," Harry shrugged.

Louis cocked an eyebrow, slightly bemused. "You seem remarkably calm about all this."

"I'm not sure I'm too worried about it..." Harry linked his fingers behind Louis' back. "She saw me at the wedding with you. She knows me, knows us. I think she'll be more upset that I kept something from her."

"Maybe I should come with you, explain to her properly who I am, how we met-"

"No, no," Harry told him. "It'll be better if it's just me and her. I can handle it. Can I come to yours afterwards, though?"

"Of course, yeah, I'll come and get you? I'm going to need to see you, I think", Louis said, matter of fact. "This whole act is driving me crazy."

"It's just acting, Lou. Drama is what you do."

"Not when it involves you," Louis said. He hid his face in Harry's shoulder to avoid his eyes. "Jesus, I fucking hate this."

"Me, too. It just feels so unfair, you know? They're treating us like criminals."  
  
"Well..." Louis said hesitantly, "If they can prove we're together, that's what I'll be."

"Would you stop saying shit like that?" Harry scolded, irritation clear on his face. "You have done nothing wrong, and we are going to get through this, you hear?"

Louis huffed air upwards out of his mouth so it ruffled his fringe. "I hear you."

 

*****

 

"Louis, come and sit down. Stop with the pacing, you're driving me mental."

Louis paused where he was wearing track marks into the carpet. "Sorry. But why hasn't he called yet? It can't be taking this long."

"You need to give him time to talk things out with his mum," Liam said gently. "You know, get everything clear with her."

"It won't be long," Zayn agreed from next to Liam. "They need to work it out between them."

"I should have gone over there," Louis muttered, resuming his pacing. "I should be with him. They're gonna take him from me, Li, I know it." He stopped dead in his tracks. Panic, sharp as a knife, lanced at his chest. "They are, aren't they. We're not going to be able to do this, and they'll find him and take him. I can't lose him, Li, I can't-"

Liam stood up, striding over to rub Louis' back soothingly. "Deep breaths," he instructed. "In...and out. Steady."

"We don't know anything yet," Zayn said, ever the voice of reason. "Not until we hear from Harry."

On cue, Louis' phone chimed from the coffee table. He dove for it, peering down at the screen.

_Rob: Come get me now, please?_

"It's him," Louis said, already reaching for his keys. "Wants me to pick him up now."

"Go, then," Liam nodded. "We'll be here when you get back."

"Thanks, boys," Louis called, halfway to the door already.

He threw himself into the car and kicked the engine to life, pulling out of his parking space and breaking at least three laws in his haste to get to Harry's house. Harry was sat on the garden wall outside his house when Louis screeched up. He looked up at the car, and Louis could see from where he was that Harry looked upset and worn out. Louis beckoned him over, and Harry obeyed, getting in and closing the car door behind him.

"Hi," Louis said cautiously, bracing himself for any type of emotion.

Harry was just quiet, though. Louis didn't know what he'd had expected, maybe tears or yelling, but Harry just sat there calmly and looked at him. Somehow that was more unnerving.

"Shall I just drive?" he asked, and Harry nodded, reaching around for his seatbelt and then leaning back against the seat. So Louis did, taking a left and then a right, occasionally glancing at Harry next to him.

Louis drove for half an hour, taking whichever turn he saw and ending up on top of a hill on the outskirts of the city. They were the only car there, and Louis parked and switched everything off, including the headlights. He unbuckled his seatbelt, and then just waited, neither of them saying anything.

The night around them was still, a contrast to the bustle of the city they could see stretched out below them. Even though it was late in the evening, the city was still buzzing with life, pairs of headlights travelling in lines like shining beetles, streetlights outlining the roads so from up here the city was a glowing map. It would be perfect, if only things weren't so tense inside Louis' small car.

Louis cleared his throat, not being able to bear it any longer. "So?"

Harry let out a slow exhale, eyes fixed ahead of him. "We talked, me and mum. I told her everything about us. She was a bit disappointed in me, I think," his voice wobbled. "But she understood why I hadn't told her. I thought she was going to be angry, but she wasn't, not really. I was right, she was more upset that I'd kept who you are from her."

"What does that mean?" Louis asked. "She'll help?"

Harry grimaced. "Well, that's the thing. It's kind of good and bad."

Louis bit the inside of his cheek. "Go on."

"She'll help, tell the college I'm with someone else, or with no one at all, whatever we want, and she'll deny knowing anything about you or ever meeting you. But," Harry licked his lips, "On the condition that we stay away from each other until after graduation."

Louis heart sunk, heavy as a stone. He knocked his head back against the headrest and groaned. "Great."

"I understand where she's coming from, though. I told you that she knows us, and she does, but she doesn't want it to get out of control. She's worried about my future, like my career. She wants to keep my name clear, have no sort of...issue associated with it. Like keep my name out of it and everything like that, so I've got a clear record, almost?" Harry shook his head. "I'm not explaining this very well."

"No, I understand," Louis said, though it felt like someone had wrapped their hands around his neck and was squeezing, hard. The thing he'd been afraid of was coming true. He and Harry were being pulled apart.

"I don't like it any more than you do," Harry reassured, reaching over to take Louis' hand. "But she's right."

"Of course she is," Louis knew that much. It killed him to admit it, but Anne was right, and he cared about Harry enough to give him that. "We have to look out for your career first. I know that."

"Graduation is only a few weeks away. You've got exams to prepare for, I've got to do my routine for the summer show...we can still see each other at weekends, you can come to mine and stuff..."

"Your mum's just told you she doesn't want you anywhere near me."

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," Harry dismissed firmly. "I love her, and I respect her, of course I do, but this is my relationship, and I can't not be around you for weeks on end. I'll just come to yours after college some nights and tell her I've got extra sessions with my ballet tutor."

Louis nodded. Lying to Harry's mum didn't sit well with him, not after she'd agreed to support them, but if he was faced with the choice of keeping one more secret from someone or not having Harry around him, well, it was a no brainer, really. 

Harry's eyes shone in the dim glow of the moonlight. "I'm sorry, Lou."

"It's okay," Louis squeezed his hand. "It's no big deal, really, is it? Not in the long run. The end of term is only, what, a month away? We've survived this far, we can survive that, can't we?" He felt guilty saying that, speaking those words to Harry, when he didn't know if he believed them himself.

"Course we can," Harry sounded more confident that Louis felt. "It's four weeks. After that, we've got all the time in the world. And more."

Silence fell between them again. The tension had gone, replaced by a sense of something that resembled finality. Maybe it had been stupid thinking they could carry on the way they were. It was a heavy feeling, something weighty and awfully like an ending of sorts. Now the next four weeks seemed like a stretch of road that Louis couldn't see the end of, one that he had to struggle down by himself.

He looked across at Harry. Half of his face was shadowed, the other half highlighted by the light of the moon where he was facing Louis. He offered a small, reassuring smile that was a little wobbly at the corners. Louis didn't even try to return it; instead he reached across with his free hand to cup the back of Harry's neck, and pulled him into a kiss.

He tried to say everything his brain couldn't put into words through the kisses he pressed to Harry's mouth, trying to offer comfort but at the same time telling him how fucking scared he was that this wasn't going to work, and how the mere thought of the next few weeks was horribly daunting. He told himself Harry understood him, as Harry disentangled their fingers to grab at Louis' waist, pulling at his hoodie, yanking it up at the back to run his fingers over the small of Louis' back.

The angle was awkward, and Louis' side was beginning to hurt where he was twisted around in his seat. He knew what he needed though, and he wanted it now, and nowhere else but here.

"Want you," he said in between kisses. "Want you in me."

Harry's breath hitched, and he pulled back, eyes wide. "You want me to...?"

"Yeah," Louis nodded. "I need you." He leaned in close again, breath just tickling Harry's slightly parted lips. "Need to _feel_ you."

Harry nodded immediately, "Yeah, okay, I want that too." Louis saw his throat bob as he swallowed. "How?"

"Erm," Louis said. "Hold on."

Leaning over, he pulled the lever on the side of Harry's seat so it fell back. Harry went with it, landing with a surprised little 'oof', and then giggled, "Oh. That's how."

Louis fumbled with his shoes, kicking them off, and then shimmied out of his jeans with trembling fingers. There was nothing slow or overly romantic about this, all he had left was a raw need, the overwhelming desire to get Harry in him, to feel the burn in his thighs and the thick slide of Harry deep inside him. The thought had his mouth watering, and he stripped off his hoodie so he was left in just a black t-shirt and boxers.

He turned to see Harry looking at him, lust already heavy in his expression. He reached for Louis, pulling him down so he was half on top of him. It was painful like this, the gear stick digging into Louis' ribs, Harry's fingers tight on his arms, hips strangely twisted, but Louis couldn't bring himself to pull away. With one arm supporting his weight, his other hand reached for Harry's jeans, deftly undoing the button and pulling down the zip.

He was already half hard, and Louis gripped him through his boxers, alternating between rubbing and squeezing gently. Harry's noises shot straight to his own cock, hot and heavy between his thighs. Louis pulled away from Harry's mouth, sitting up to concentrate on pulling down Harry's jeans and boxers. He couldn't be bothered to even try and get them all the way off, so they stayed just below his knees. Harry kicked off his shoes, too, and he shifted in the seat, getting comfortable.

The air in the car was thick with anticipation, desperation pressing down on them and making their movements jerky and uncoordinated. Louis reached for Harry's cock, pumping his hand a couple of times, and then leaned over to tongue at the head, pinning Harry's hips with his other hand.

"Lou," Harry breathed. "Shit."

Louis slid his mouth down the length of him, working quickly to get Harry ready. It didn't take long, soon he was nodding down at Louis frantically, eyes blown out.

"Take your hair down," Louis murmured to him as he reached for his wallet in his discarded jeans. He fumbled around in one of the inside pockets and then came up triumphant, taking out two packets before turning back. Holding the packets between his teeth he shucked off his boxers and then braced himself, turning and swinging a leg over Harry's prone form so he was sitting on his thighs. Harry had done as asked, black band now around his wrist and hair fanned out around his head. Louis loved it like this, all wavy and messy. It made him want to weave his fingers through it and hold on tight.

"Okay?" Louis checked as he ripped open the foil packet of lube with his teeth. "Still good?"

"Course," Harry replied, eyes fixed to where Louis was dividing the lube in his hands, using some to slick Harry's cock and then reaching behind him, using the rest to push a finger inside himself.

"God," Louis sighed, working one finger in and then adding another when he felt he could. He knew that it wasn't really enough; it had been months since he'd bottomed and he could feel how tight he was. That was exactly how he needed it though. He needed to feel Harry stretching him open, tight enough to leave an ache that he'd be able to feel tomorrow when Harry wasn't around.

He deemed himself ready, and then tried to get the condom packet open, fingers still slippery and shaking a little now. Harry's hands stopped him after a few moments of him trying and failing to even rip the foil.

"Hey, let me," Harry said gently, plucking the square from him and tearing the corner open with his teeth. He took charge, rolling the condom down over himself and then gripping Louis' waist.

Louis felt too hot all of a sudden, shaky and a little bit like he was going to cry. His chest was tight, fingers shaking where he placed them on Harry's chest and lifted himself up, shifting forward to hover over Harry's cock.

"Lou, baby?" Harry asked him, concern evident through the haze of lust that had descended over them both. Louis just nodded, not sure his voice would work if he tried to answer. He held Harry steady beneath him, and then guided just the tip inside him.

The first push burned, and Louis' lips fell open as Harry hissed through his teeth. Louis stayed there, just getting used the feeling again. It was familiar and brand new all at once. Harry's grip on his hips felt hard enough to bruise, and he welcomed the ache of them there, sure he would end up with marks pressed into his skin.

Shifting his hips, he took more, sinking down in one long glide until he was fully seated in Harry's lap. The feeling of fullness was incomparable, he could feel every inch of Harry, the heat of him, the way he held himself so still so Louis could adjust, though Louis knew it must be driving him crazy to do so. He leaned forward a little, palms splayed out on Harry's chest, and lifted his hips incrementally, just to feel that burn he craved.

He let his eyes close and tipped his head back, just relishing in the feel of being this close to Harry, of centering himself right here in this moment in time. The windows had steamed up, which was both an obvious clue to the outside world of just what was happening in here, and a way of blocking the world from them, so all they knew was each other and the way Louis was circling his hips slowly in Harry's lap.

"Lou," Harry was panting, sweat breaking out at his temples. "Jesus, Louis..."

"You feel amazing," Louis told him, "So much better than I ever thought. You're incredible."

"I love you."

A whimper rose, unbidden, from Louis' throat. "I love you, too, sweetheart."

He began pushing himself, lifting and falling, pushing through the ache in the muscles of his thighs. Harry's hands shifted to his waist, feeling huge where they spread out and helped him move up and down, guiding his pace. They slid upwards for a moment, just long enough for him to rub the pads of his thumbs over Louis' nipples, eliciting a low whine. Louis quickened his pace, hands planted firmly on Harry's torso as he rolled his hips. It only felt like minutes before Harry was gasping his name, warning him.

Louis bent low over him, changing the angle slightly, and mouthed at Harry's throat. "Come on, baby. Come on. Come in me."

Maybe it was those words that pushed Harry over the edge, because he came with a jerk and cry and threw his head back against the seat. Louis forced his eyes to stay open, staring down at him. Right then, he knew nothing else but what Harry looked like when he came, the length of his neck exposed, all miles of pale skin covered by a sheen of sweat. He looked shocked, overwhelmed, green eyes wide where he gazed back up at Louis, cock twitching inside of him. Louis felt him, a new heat to match the old, and he wrapped his hand around his cock, chasing his own release.

Harry took a hand from Louis' waist and nudged his hand out of the way, working his fingers and twisting his wrist just right so Louis was arching his back and crying out as he came, white hot pleasure thrumming through his veins. Harry stroked him through it, only letting go when Louis slumped forward, trapping his cock between them, stomach pressing against Harry's sticky skin.

Gradually their breathing slowed, the urgency of before fading along with their orgasms. Louis lay on Harry's chest, listening to the slowing of his heartbeat. He slid his hand over his shoulder and then pushed his hand into Harry's hair, holding on and feeling the soft strands wrap around his fingers.

He could still feel it, that anxiety pulling at the back of his head, pushing its way to the forefront of his mind as he came down from his high. He clung to Harry, and Harry wrapped his arms around his back, holding him close.

For a moment neither of them said anything. But then Harry's arms tightened, and Louis felt a wave of insecurity radiate off of him.

"Tell me it's going to be okay," he pleaded. Louis could hear the thickness of his voice, the slight break towards the end.

He pressed his lips to Harry's jaw, and nodded, mostly to himself. "It's going to be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Chapter title comes from King and Lionheart, by Of Monsters and Men.


	14. i'll recover if you keep me alive

He missed him already.

Even after he was gone, Louis could feel the heat of Harry's breath lingering on his skin, the pressure of his fingers on his body. He rolled onto his back slowly, stretching his right arm out to the side and resting his fingertips on the sheets next to him, imagining he could still feel the heat of Harry's body from where he'd lain not half an hour before. He turned his head towards his arm, squinting his eyes a little more shut against the beam of moonlight that streamed in through the gap in the curtains. A slow breath left him, his exhale the only thing he could hear in the flat.

This was the first time they'd seen each other since their drive to the hill above the city. Louis had dropped Harry back home after they'd cleaned themselves up, promising that he'd see him soon, and then he'd driven back to his flat feeling slightly numb. Liam and Zayn had been waiting for him as they said they would be, both eager to find out how Harry's chat with his mum had gone, but Louis hadn't had it in him to explain just then. He could tell Zayn was frustrated with him, but Liam understood. He'd told them the next day, mug of tea cradled in his hands, feeling a little sad and a lot fragile. 

He'd gone the whole weekend without seeing Harry, and come Monday he'd barely been able to wait for the college day to end so he could meet Harry at the flat. They'd barely spoken, just brief words exchanged, and then they'd fallen into bed and there hadn't been much room for talking. 

Liam had made himself scarce, and when he had eventually reappeared at the flat he'd offered to drive Harry home in keeping with Anne's newly enforced curfew that stipulated that Harry had to be home by ten every night no matter where he was or who he was with. He'd been on his way out to see Zayn anyway, so once the front door shut behind them Louis had been left alone with just his thought and the cooling sheets around him. As of yet, he hadn't moved from where Harry had left him. 

He shivered, then, a unexpected bolt of desire shooting up his spine. Goosebumps broke out over his skin and he closed his eyes, remembering how Harry had just been with him, warm and pliant, hips right in close, head cradled in the crook of Louis' elbow.

"I'm yours," he'd panted, turning his face up so Louis could press their lips together, loose and soft. "....You know...know I'm yours. Always."  
  
Louis had slowed his hips, drawing their pleasure out for a long as possible. He'd reached around to wrap his fingers around Harry's cock, stroking him slowly, meeting Harry's hips when he arched backwards. Harry's fingers had been hot on his skin, reaching around to grip Louis' hip, guiding their slow movements. Louis had come inside him with a mouthful of Harry's skin, holding him still as Harry came over the sheets. He'd turned in Louis' arms afterwards so they were chest to chest, pulling them closer together until Louis couldn't distinguish where he ended and Harry began. With Harry's leg hitched over his and his curtain of hair tickling Louis' cheek, Louis had known nothing but the both of them right there. At that moment, ever letting go of him had seemed impossible.

Louis rolled now, stretching languidly until he was laying directly where Harry had been. He could still smell him, _them_ , and he buried his head in the pillow, smiling as he remembered Harry's rushed words that he mumbled in Louis' ear on his way out of the door, jeans still half unbuttoned, hair matted on one side and erratic curls sticking out around his ears.  
  
_"Falling in love with you is the best thing that's happened to me."  
_

 

*****

Louis pushed the staffroom door open, stifling a yawn with his forearm. He held it open for a teacher on their way back out again, and then let it swing shut again, making a beeline for the round table at the back. Niall and Zayn sat there together, heads bent as they spoke. As Louis approached them, he heard their hushed, urgent whispers, saw the way Niall looked around every so often to check no one was within earshot.  
  
Louis dumped his bag on the table, and the two of them jumped apart like they'd been burned.  
  
He dropped down in a chair, eyeing the two of them. "Right. Tell me," he commanded.  
  
"Tell you what?" Niall said, expression the picture of innocence.  
  
"Niall."  
  
Zayn sighed, leaning towards Louis. "Look, we didn't want to worry you, and we've only just heard ourselves."  
  
"Oh, Christ," Louis said, looking around himself now to check they were alone. "What's happened now?"  
  
Zayn grimaced. "Harry's in for questioning...Niall saw him heading towards the Dean's office."  
  
"Fuck," Louis said shortly. "Is he still there now?"  
  
Niall nodded. "Only saw him go in on my way here, must be ten minutes tops."

Louis shook his head disbelievingly, pulling out his phone immediately and unlocking it.  
  
"You're kidding me," Zayn said flatly as Louis pulled up Harry's message thread. "Please do not do what I think you're about to do."  
  
Louis paused, shifting in his seat. He needed to know Harry was okay, that they weren't being too harsh on him or trying to make him confess something without realising it, but, as usual, he knew Zayn was right. With a huff, he locked his phone again, tucking it into his bag guiltily.   
  
Niall nodded approvingly. "Don't do anything like that, okay?" he said. "Just get to your next class, keep your head down. We'll do some digging, find out what's happened. As soon as we know anything we'll tell you, right?"  
  
"Suppose I've not got anything other choice, have I?" Louis sighed, and Niall shook his head no. "Lovely. Right, I'll go and try and teach my tenth years something worth knowing, then. You two," he pointed his finger between the two of them as he stood, "Let me know as soon as you find anything out, okay?"  
  
Niall saluted. "Yes, sir."  
  
Zayn rolled his eyes, "Just try not to worry, okay?"  
  
Louis scoffed, shouldering his bag. "That's like telling me to try not to breathe. Bit impossible. Okay, I'm going. Just keep me updated, yeah?"  
  
"Will do," Zayn promised, lifting his hand in farewell as Louis turned away from them and headed out to the corridor.  
  
The halls were busy, students everywhere hurrying to get to their next class, their buzz of chatter amplified in the wide corridors. Louis weaved his way in and out of them, nodding a greeting to any of his students who waved at him on their way past. He considered stopping past the senior offices to see if he could see anything, but he quickly decided against it; that would look far too suspicious.  
  
The day was a beautiful one, the sun streaming in through the windows of his studio. Louis pulled out his notebook and pen and settled himself behind his desk, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight on his back. He sighed, and tapped his pen idly on the wood of the desk. He doodled random drawings in the back of his notebook with his chin resting in his other hand, barely noticing his students filing in. He only came back to himself when he realised that his class was full, and he set his pen down and stood, fixing a smile onto his face and launching into action.   
  
The rest of the day inched by, unhelped by Louis' constant glancing between his phone and the clock on the wall. He'd set the class to do rehearsals, and then just sat behind his desk to brood for the rest of the lesson in peace. He crossed his leg over his knee one way, and then the other, and ran his hand through his hair more times than he cared to count. Still his phone remained silent.  
  
When he finally let the kids go, he waited until his room was empty and then pulled his phone out, tapping out a message to Harry. Before he could send it, though, there was a knocking at his door. He looked up, and then beckoned for Zayn to come in.  
  
"Hey," Zayn said, stepping through and shutting the door behind him.  
  
Louis sat up eagerly, pocketing his phone. "Hey. So?"  
  
Zayn perched on the side of the desk and folded his arms across his chest. "So Niall hung around Hazel's desk earlier, asking some questions and just generally being a nuisance, and he was there when Harry came out of the Williams' office. He couldn't make out anything that was said, but he said that Harry looked okay. I mean, he was a bit upset and all, which is understandable, but it doesn't look it like it was too serious."  
  
Louis let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding. "Okay. Well. At least that's over and done with."  
  
"Right.' Zayn encouraged. "One less hoop to jump through. Just go home now, Lou, yeah? Go and get some rest, call your boy, make sure he's okay."  
  
Louis nodded. "I think I will, actually. Today's been too stressful for my liking."  
  
"Aren't they all. Dunno how you're gonna cope on Friday, mate."  
  
Louis frowned. "What?"  
  
Zayn looked at him with a face that said he'd missed something obvious. "Parents' Evening, innit?"  
  
"Shit," Louis slumped down in his chair, staring at the opposite wall. " _Shit_. I'd completely forgotten about that."  
  
"Clearly," Zayn said dryly. "Brace yourself. After all this, you're gonna be watched like a hawk."

 

*****

 

"Alright, ladies and gents, don't forget it's parents evening this Friday! As per usual, being the unorganised teacher that I am, I completely forgot about it, so just note down your names next to the time you can make," he waved a sheet of paper at them, "And I'll do my best to work around you."  
  
He handed the paper to Tia at the front of the row, watching as she noted down her name and then handed it off behind her. Louis nodded to himself, satisfied, and then turned to the board. "Right then, we're moving on to our last text of the semester. After this one, you've got a few sessions to either do some revision for assessment week or prepare for the summer show. But for now...." he scribbled 'Tennesee Williams' on the board, "it's _A Streetcar Named Desire_. I know this is a Shakespeare class, but the last play on the syllabus is _The Tempest_ , and I don't like it, so I'm ignoring it. It's not in the assessments, anyway. Now, I've got scripts for you to rehearse with today, but if you could all have a copy for next class, that would be...what's wrong?"  
  
Unimpressed faces looked back at him. Louis smirked. "Come on, guys. Look, I know it's the end of term, but _Streetcar_ 's a classic...Still not up for it? No?"  
He chanced a glance at Harry, turning away to hide his grin at Harry's raised eyebrow. "Okay, okay," he rubbed the pen off the board behind him. "Since I'm feeling generous, we'll do something you want to do this week- but just today, right? Next class we're doing _Streetcar._ "

He came around the front of his desk and sat on the edge of it, clasping his hands in front of himself. "You've got ten seconds to yell out what you want to do today- I get final say. Go!"  
  
" _Romeo and Juliet_ again!"  
  
" _Oliver Twist_!"  
  
" _Titanic_!"  
  
Louis scoffed, "Who said _Titanic_? Do me a favour."  
  
" _Dirty Dancing_!"  
  
Then Harry's unmistakable voice sounded. He said it quietly, but Louis would be able to pick out his voice in a crowded room with no trouble at all. " _A Midsummer Night's Dream_."  
  
Louis met his eyes. He pursed his lips between his teeth, considering. "You want to go back to Shakespeare?"  
  
Silence met his question. A couple of people nodded.  
  
Louis stood, walking back around his desk. " _Midsummer_ it is. And seeing as it's your suggestion, Harry," he said, challenge clear in his voice, "You can read Puck for us."  
  
He saw Harry swallow, but he nodded nonetheless, defiance clear in his eyes. Louis handed out spare copies from the supply cupboard, and handed Harry his own personal copy.  
  
"Puck's final soliloquy, please, Haz, erm, Harry," Louis coughed. "Whenever you're ready."  
  
Harry eyes were wide at Louis' mistake, but he gathered himself all the same and stood, clearing his throat. Louis saw him take a breath, and then his voice rang out, loud and clear.

 _"If we shadows have offended,_  
_Think of this and all is mended-_  
_That you have but slumbered here_  
_While these visions did appear._  
_And this weak and idle theme,_  
_No more yielding but a dream,_  
_Gentles, do not reprehend._  
_If you pardon, we will mend._  
_And, as I am an honest Puck._  
_If we have unearned luck._  
_Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,_  
_We will make amends ere long._  
_Else the Puck a liar call._  
_So good night until you all._  
_Give me your hands if we be friends,_  
_And Robin shall restore amends."_  
  
Harry sat, head bent low. Louis could see his pink cheeks from where he was. He could feel his own mouth hanging open a little. _Finally_ , after all this time, he'd managed to get Harry to read for him, and fuck, had it been worth the wait. Hell, he had fucking _goosebumps_ , it was ridiculous. There was no going back now, he had to find a way to get Harry to do that all the time for him. It was just his luck that they had to stay far away from each other; given his own way, Louis would be dragging Harry off to the nearest corner to completely ravish him. His old fantasy came rushing back to him- as soon as they were out of this mess, Louis was going to get Harry reciting to Shakespeare to him all the time.  
  
"Ay me," Louis said, standing and looking around at his silent students. "That was excellent, Harry. Very well done."  
  
There were a few agreeing nods, and Harry's cheeks reddened even more.  
  
"I think we'll break there," Louis said softly, unwilling to break the hush that had fallen over the room. "Grab a coffee, and be back with me in fifteen."

Louis looked over the sheet of paper he'd collected back from them, sitting back down behind his desk as the kids filed past him. It was mostly full, names next to each five minute time slot available. Harry's messy scrawl was halfway down the page, after Amy's. Louis nodded slowly, almost trying to reassure himself.

Five minutes, that's all it would be. 300 seconds with Harry and Anne sat in front of him, all three of them trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

  
  
*****

  
  
Friday evening arrived sooner than Louis would have liked. He'd stayed up late every night during the week, trying to catch up with the preparation for Parents' Evening that he should have been doing weeks in advance. He supposed there was one advantage to his stress; he hadn't had much time to miss Harry. There had been so much to do that he'd not spoken to Harry beyond their phone call every night. He worked right up to the wire, only just managing to finish all his students' files with minutes to spare. 

Liam drove him in, for the simple purpose of keeping up appearances. He chattered on about work on the way over, but Louis just let his voice go over his head, too nervous to try and make any meaningful conversation. They drove all the way to the college steps, pulling up in full view of the Dean who stood at the top of them, greeting some of the parents who were coming in for the earlier appointments. Zayn was stood next to him, and Louis saw him eye the car as Liam brought them to a halt.  
  
"Listen," Liam said, resting his hand on Louis' knee. "Just be you, be the brilliant teacher you are. And relax. You can do this."  
  
Louis nodded, not really believing Liam's words but appreciating them all the same. Liam leaned over, pressing a kiss to Louis' cheek. It was chaste, and quick, but Louis knew the Dean was watching them closely. Zayn, too. Louis knew he'd seen it happen, but other than his slightly raised eyebrows, his expression remained unchanged.  
  
"Right, I'll see you later, then."  
  
"Course," Liam said. "Give me a text and I'll come and get you when you're done."  
  
"Thanks, Li."  
  
Louis climbed the steps, nodding at the Dean and shooting an apologetic look in Zayn's direction as he passed them and made his way into the main hall. Adjusting a few files that were beginning to slip out of his arms, he found his table at the back of the hall, noting that, unsurprisingly, his desk was directly next to the Dean's. Louis rolled his eyes a little and set about arranging his files carefully on one side of the desk. He shook off his jacket, hanging it over the back of his chair. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he counted ten minutes until his first appointment, so he left his belongings behind and left the hall again, intending to make a quick tea in the staffroom to help settle his jittery nerves. Tea was good; tea would calm him down.  
  
His first set of parents, Tia's, were hanging around his desk on his return. Louis hurried over, setting his tea down and going to meet them, shaking their hands and showing them to their seats. On the table next to him, the Dean sat down, not-so-subtly arranging his papers and then proceeding to pretend to be deeply interested in them. Louis scoffed internally, and then fixed a smile on his face, turning to the people sitting across from him.  
  
Gradually, he worked his way through his appointments. He found he repeated himself a lot, saying things about natural flares and confidence and keen understandings of the texts. He didn't mean to do it, it was just that he genuinely believed it of his kids, and wanted to give them good reports because they truly deserved it.  
  
When Harry walked into the room, Louis was immediately aware of his presence. He took a seat in the waiting area opposite Louis' table, Anne in tow. Louis carried on speaking with Amy's mum, all too conscious of the fact that next to them Williams had his beady little eyes fixed on Harry. Knowing that he couldn't delay the inevitable any longer, Louis wrapped up his little speech to Amy's mum about her talent for drama, shook her hand, and wished her a pleasant evening. 

Then it was Harry's turn. Louis beckoned him over, and stood to shake Anne's hand.  
  
"Lovely to meet you," Louis told her, gesturing for them both to take a seat. "Evening, Harry."  
  
"Hi," Harry replied quietly, sinking back in his chair. Louis could feel the tension radiating off them in waves. However, though Harry looked nervous, Anne appeared calm, collected, relaxing back in her seat. She crossed one leg over the other and smiled expectantly.  
  
Louis took a mouthful of tea and cleared his throat, looking over Harry's file as he did. He was stalling deliberately, buying time, waiting until he felt in control and professional enough to continue. He chanced a look at Harry, and immediately wished he hadn't. Up close, just how much he was missing him hit Louis full force. Harry looked tired, and sad, fidgeting with the rip in his jeans on his knee. His hair was pulled up, knotted too tightly so it made his face look gaunt and pale.

Guilt twisted in Louis' stomach at the thought that he'd definitely neglected him this week. With all the stress of his planning, he'd forgotten that Harry didn't have the same distractions that he did, and had most likely been sat at home waiting for Louis to call. It was selfish of him to be grateful that he'd kept busy while Harry suffered by himself. Harry returned Louis' stare, something akin to hunger in his eyes. Louis knew that look, had seen it on Harry a hundred times, and he knew that desperation meant Harry was missing him with the same intensity Louis felt. 

He forced himself to break their eye contact, focusing on Anne instead. "Well, I'm sure what I'm about to tell you is nothing you haven't heard before," he began. "Harry has a natural talent for drama; it's clear he's confident when he gets on stage. He does have a few issues with self-esteem, as in believing he has the talent to do the text justice, but that's something we're trying to overcome, aren't we?" he turned to Harry, who nodded without saying anything. "Just this week Harry read us a section from _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ , and it's clear to see that, outside of the ballet studio, that's where his talent lies."  
  
Anne nodded along with his words. She looked a little nervous now, and Louis saw her eyes flick to the Dean's table once or twice.  
  
"As for his assessments, I know he has commitments to the summer show, but I'm confident he'll be able to cope with the revision that I've set, and he's more than capable of performing well in the final exam in a couple of weeks time. Uh, Harry, is there anything you want to add? Anything you're worried about?"  
  
Harry rolled his lips into his mouth, and then shook his head slowly. "No, no I think I'm okay with everything."  
  
"And yourself, Anne-An- _anything_ you'd like to ask?" Louis cringed, praying the Dean hadn't heard him address Harry's mum by her first name.   
  
Anne shook her head from side to side, eyes slightly wider than before. She cleared her throat softly, and when she spoke, her voice was clear, a hundred times more composed than Louis felt. "I don't think I have any questions," she said. "I'm happy with Harry's progress if you're happy."  
  
"I am," Louis stood, forcing a smile. Anne and Harry took their cues, standing as well. Louis held out his hand to shake Anne's again. "It was lovely meeting you, thank you for taking the time to come and see me. I'll see you in class tomorrow, Harry."  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Tomlinson," Anne said politely, and then she and Harry stepped away from his table, hurrying from the hall with barely concealed haste.  
  
Louis sunk down in his seat, sitting deadly still until the urge to repeatedly bang his head against his desk had gone. Their meeting probably hadn't been the full five minutes long, but he would rather have cut it short than drag out their excruciating encounter any longer. He really was bad at this. How could they expect to get away with this if he was the one who kept slipping up and making stupid mistakes like calling Harry 'Haz' in a room full of students, and calling his mum by her first name with the Dean mere feet away? All Zayn, Liam and Niall's support would be worthless if he kept slipping up over the stupidest of things.  
  
His phone buzzed in his pocket. With a swift glance in the Dean's direction to check he wasn't looking at him, Louis opened the new message under the table.  
  
Rob: _Can you get away? I'm round the side of the building..two minutes? xx_  
  
Louis shouldn't. Of course he shouldn't; there were people everywhere and his next set of parents were due any second now. His last mistake was proof enough that he shouldn't be taking any risks. But he hadn't seen Harry properly all week, hadn't spoken to him alone, hadn't touched him. Just two minutes. Just to soothe the painful ache of longing in his chest.  
  
Looking up, Louis caught Niall's eye. He tilted his head towards the doors, and widened his eyes meaningfully. Niall cottoned on almost immediately, and he got up from his own empty table and crossed over to Louis'.  
  
"Spare time slot?" he asked nonchalantly, loudly enough that the people in the immediate vicinity could hear. "Coffee break?"  
  
"Sure," Louis replied equally as loudly, and fell into step with Niall as they walked out of the hall into the college entryway.  
  
"Are you insane?" Niall hissed urgently under his breath as they passed a few stray parents milling around. "You're trying to lay low, and then you go and do something like _this_? Do you _want_ to get caught?"  
  
"Of course not, don't be idiotic," Louis murmured back. Together, they left the college building and walked down the flight of steps. "I just really need to see him, Ni." He looked left and right, and spotted the beam of headlights around the left hand side of the building.  
  
Niall shook his head disbelievingly, but swept his arm out, allowing Louis past. "Fine, go on. I'll keep watch. Two minutes, though, right?"  
  
"Cheers, mate. Appreciate it," Louis patted his shoulder gratefully, and then jogged around to the corner of the building, keeping close to the red brick wall.  
  
When he slipped around it, he saw the car idling a few feet away. He squinted, trying to see who sat behind the wheel, wary that it might not be Anne's car at all, but the glare of the headlights prevented him from making out who it was. He lifted his arm, fingers held up so it blocked some of the light, and then made his way towards it, still trying to see inside.  
  
When he approached the side of the car the headlights were suddenly switched off. Louis blinked in the sudden darkness, and before his eyes could adjust there was the sound of a car door opening and footsteps, and then he was pulled, someone else's body crowding him back into the shadows away from the lamplight, pinning him against the wall.

Louis parted his lips automatically, eagerly, and a whimper of relief escaped him when Harry's mouth was pushed onto his, lips urgent and needy. He kissed Louis like his life depended on it; couldn't get close enough, deep enough. Louis wrapped an arm around his waist and cupped Harry's cheek with his other hand, smoothing a gentle thumb over his cheekbone. Harry hummed, hands moving lower so they could pull Louis' shirt free from his trousers, fingers skating up to dance over the skin of Louis' waist. His fingers left burning trails, pressing into Louis' skin to press him harder back against the cold brick behind him. Louis shivered when the skin of his back touched the wall, involuntarily arching back off it to escape the cold and pushing forwards against Harry.  
  
Harry clearly had more self-control than Louis did, because he let out one last quiet, low moan, and then he pulled away. He looked down at Louis, regret in his eyes, and kissed him lightly one final time.  
  
"I love you," he breathed, and then he pulled away completely.

Louis was left there, dishevelled and breathless, as Harry dove back into the car, shutting the door behind him. In the seat next to him, Anne smiled at Louis from the open window, cheeks slightly pink. Louis flushed, unsure, and then awkwardly nodded his thanks to her. He flicked his eyes to Harry, mouthed _love you, too_ to him, and then watched as Anne drove them away. When the backlights of the car had faded Louis tilted his head back against the wall, exhaling shakily. 

He took a few deep breaths, willing his racing heart to slow, and then he forced himself off from the wall. Knowing he was running out of time, he hurried back to the steps, emerging from the shadows and stopping when he reached Niall.  
  
Niall tutted, eyeing him critically. "You look like you've just been attacked."  
  
"I kind of was," Louis said idly, pushing his fringe back up his forehead and rolling his shoulders. "Thanks for this, Ni. Really."  
  
"Eh," Niall shrugged. "I want this to work out as much as you do, you know. You're good together." He turned and began heading back up the steps.  
  
Louis joined him, eyeing him out of the corner of his eye. "Oh. Well, thanks."  
  
"No worries. Now tuck your shirt in, or people are gonna think it's me that's made you look like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I think there'll be two more chapters after this, and they'll be up soon :)
> 
> Chapter title comes from Shine, by Years and Years.


	15. you're the one i wanted to find

The days ticked by. It was as if Louis had entered some sort of parallel universe, living out an existence that didn't really feel like his own. His life had changed so much in the past couple of months, almost to the point where he barely recognised it. If someone had told him at the start of the semester that by the end of it he would be waiting to hear if he'd gotten away with sleeping with one of his students, and that he would have fallen in love with said student, Louis would have laughed in their faces. Hard. But no, that's where he was, stuck in limbo. Waiting.

It was a strange place to be. The hours passed by in a mixture of lightning speed and agonizing slowness. Louis had thrown himself headlong into preparing for the end of year exams, setting texts and drawing up performance timetables, all of which kept him busy and stressed and rushing around from dawn til dusk. It was in the quiet moments in between tasks that time seemed to slow down again. He'd make tea in the staff room and pause to look out of the window and try and pinpoint where Harry would be at that particular moment in time. He'd find his mind drifting away as he sat at his desk marking essays, worrying about the investigation and whether they'd covered enough bases. In those moments, minutes passed like entire days.

Liam's invitation came from the college, a polite message asking him to come in for an 'informal chat' with the Dean. Zayn had been fairly calm about it, reassuring Liam that he could do it, all he had to do was stick to the plan. Louis tried to feed off Zayn's serenity, reassuring himself that he trusted Liam and that they'd planned their story in enough detail that Liam would be able to answer anything they asked him confidently. It was scheduled for the next day, so they'd planned that Louis would drive both of them in and drop Liam off at the offices, then Zayn would take him home afterwards.

When he'd told Harry over the phone, all Harry had said was, "Okay. He'll be fine, then."

Louis had tried to hear past his air of quiet confidence, but he'd found nothing. That was the worst part of all of this; that Louis didn't even know how Harry was coping with it all, not really. Harry told him his worries and problems over the phone at night, and together they always managed to come up with a solution, but Louis couldn't tell if he was actually okay. The way he'd appeared at Parent's Evening had told Louis that he was struggling too, and the way he tried to keep up pretenses and pretend that everything was fine was heartbreaking to Louis. He felt like he should be the strong one, the one to reassure Harry, but in fact it was the other way around. Louis clung to Harry's warm, comforting voice over the phone like a lifeline, taking endless comfort in it even though they both knew that Harry's repeated assurances that everything would be fine were unfounded.

Louis was tired. So tired. He barely slept, and resorted to wandering around the flat late at night, watching the tv on a low volume so as not to wake Liam and Zayn. He made snacks because he thought he might be hungry and then threw them away half eaten when they tasted like he was chewing cardboard. Half the night he spent doing his planning, and he only slept when he was nearly unconscious from exhaustion. His bed was too big without Harry, so his few hours of fitful rest were spent on the sofa.

The day before Liam's questioning, Zayn and Niall were over, doing last minute run-through's of any possible questions Liam could be asked. Midway through, Harry called, so Louis excused himself to his room and flopped down on his back in the middle of his bed. He answered the call, and then held the phone to his ear.

"Hey," he said, smile already creeping across his face.

" _Hi_ ," Harry sang gently. " _You all right?_ "

"Uh huh," Louis scratched his stomach idly, pressing the phone closer to his ear. "Liam's got his interview tomorrow, Z and Niall are just rehearsing with him again."

" _It's like he's going to court_ ," Harry commented, humour tinging his tone. " _Is he gonna wear a suit?_ "

Louis snorted. "If anything's gonna make them think we're guilty, wearing a suit will be it," he shook his head, looking up at the ceiling. "Everything okay with you? How was practise?"

" _Fine, just putting the finishing touches to my routine for the end of year show. I'm really happy with it. Some people had to show theirs today in the workshop, but my tutor didn't pick me, thank god. I want to keep it a surprise._ "

"You won't even show me?"

" _Especially not you. Like I said, I want you to see it at the show._ "

"That's if I'm still allowed there by that time." Louis sighed, and then immediately felt bad. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't talk like that."

" _No, you shouldn't,_ " Harry replied reproachfully, though there was no real heat in his voice. " _I've told you, it's going to be okay. And it will be._ "

"I wish I had your confidence."

There was a gentle knock at his door. Louis lifted his head off the pillow, and Liam stuck his head into the room.

"Hey," he said quietly, "We're ordering pizza in, you want any?"

Louis shook his head, flopping back down onto the sheets.

Liam nodded his head at the phone held to Louis' ear. "Is that Harry? Say hi for me."

Louis sighed. "Liam says hi."

" _Say hi back_ ," Harry's voice returned. " _Tell him good luck for tomorrow._ "

"Haz says hi, too," Louis relayed. "He says good luck for tomorrow."

"Thanks," Liam smiled. "I'll leave you to it." He backed out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

" _You never say no to pizza._ "

"Don't feel much like eating," Louis shrugged, then felt a little stupid because Harry couldn't see him do it. "Got too much to do anyway."

" _Hm._ "

"Listen..." Louis said. "How are you? Really."

" _Fine. I told you._ "

"Harry. Really."

Harry was silent for a long minute. Louis rolled onto his side so his phone was held between his ear and the pillow. " _Scared,_ " Harry finally admitted. " _I'm fucking terrified, actually. Like I'm completely powerless, and someone else has got complete control over my life. They have final say over us, even though they know nothing about us and-_ " Harry broke off, huffing frustratedly. " _And I just miss you a bit. A lot._ "

Louis closed his eyes, heart squeezing. "Same."

" _But,_ " Harry continued. Louis heard him take a deep breath. " _It's going to be okay. Whatever happens._ "

The finality in his tone was palpable. Anxiety gripped at Louis' chest again and he willed himself to calm down, taking a few deep breaths. "Right. You're right."

" _I know. You should listen to me more often. Look, Lou, I've gotta go, Mum's calling me. _"__

____

"All right, then. See you later, baby."

____

" _Love you. _"__

______ _ _

"Love you more."

______ _ _

 

______ _ _

*****

______ _ _

 

______ _ _

"So remember, just be calm, and remember what we've been through-"

______ _ _

"Louis," Liam said out of the corner of his mouth. "Would you relax? You're stressing me out."

______ _ _

"I just want you to remember-"

______ _ _

"Louis."

______ _ _

"All right. Sorry."

______ _ _

Liam took hold of Louis' hand, giving it a squeeze as they walked through the entrance doors of the college. It was between classes, so there were a few students wandering around, heading towards one of the cafe's or towards their next classes. A few people looked their way as they walked through, but that could only be a good thing. Though the students knew nothing about the investigation, the more of them that saw Louis holding hands with Liam, the better.

______ _ _

Louis lead them to the offices, signing Liam in at the desk. Liam kissed his cheek, then sat in the chairs outside Williams' room. He rubbed his palms on the thighs of his jeans and then smiled up at Louis.

______ _ _

"I'm good from here, Lou," Liam said pointedly. "Maybe you should get to your next class. I'll text you when I'm done."

______ _ _

"Right. Yeah," Louis nodded. He glanced at the Dean's door, and then to Liam once more, and then he turned and walked away. Hazel smiled at him on the way past, and Louis returned it half-heartedly. He glanced over his shoulder as he left, catching Liam's encouraging smile, and then headed back out into the corridor.

______ _ _

Even with the knowledge that Liam was in the Dean's office actively protecting his relationship with Harry, Louis still took the risk of walking by the dance studios on his way to the staff room. The hall was empty by that point, and Louis checked and double checked that he was the only one there before he slowed his pace, peering into each studio.

______ _ _

The first had a group of tenth years in it, the second an all female troupe warming up, and the third was empty. He found Harry in the fourth studio, mid-routine. He was currently up on the balls of his foot, spotting himself in the mirror as he turned, one arm held out to the side and the other curved gracefully over his head. His loose white tee billowed in the air he created, riding up and showing Louis the skin of his abdomen.

______ _ _

Louis swallowed, looking left and right to check he was still alone. As Harry changed positions, he saw Louis in the mirror from where he hovered outside the door. Harry turned, wide eyed, and made a shooing motion with his hand. Louis grinned, cocking an eyebrow. Whether Harry was shooing him because he was worried Louis was going to get caught, or whether it was because he didn't want Louis to see his routine, he couldn't be sure. He winked, and Harry smiled, rolling his eyes a little. He shooed Louis again, waving, so Louis did as he was told, waving back before he pulled himself away and carried on to the staff room.

______ _ _

It was good to see Harry smile, he thought as he pulled a couple of textbooks he needed from his locker. Happy little moments like that would seem so insignificant to anyone else, but to Louis they meant the absolute world. They gave him tiny little slivers of hope, like the first rays of sunshine peeking through dark clouds.

______ _ _

His next class went fairly quickly, just his ninth years doing some exam prep, and when he'd let them go, he checked his phone for any messages from Liam. There were no notifications. Louis frowned. There was no way his questioning could be taking this long; there wasn't that much to tell.

______ _ _

Louis gathered up his things, intending to head towards the offices and just casually enquire as to Liam's whereabouts. One step out of his studio, though, and Louis saw Liam striding down the hall towards him, flanked by Zayn. Just a single glance at Liam's face, and Louis knew something was terribly, awfully wrong. He stepped back into his room, dropping his bag on a nearby table.

______ _ _

"We haven't got long," Zayn told Liam as he shut the door behind them. "I've only got this period off."

______ _ _

"What's the matter?" Louis demanded. Dread began seeping through his veins at Liam's serious, pale face, the way his fists were clenched into balls at his sides.

______ _ _

"I fucked up," Liam said shakily. "I'm so sorry, Lou, but he was asking me questions too quickly and I just forgot-"

______ _ _

"What did you say?" Louis asked. He heard the slightly shrill edge to his voice as it left his mouth. Visions of Harry's face, devastated and confused, sped through his mind. "Liam, please tell me it was nothing too bad."

______ _ _

"We agreed we've been dating since uni, right? That we met there? I- I told him we started dating in secondary school."

______ _ _

"Oh, god." Louis turned away, pacing up to the end of the room and back again. " _Fuck_."

______ _ _

"I know, and I'm so, so sorry, Lou," Liam implored. "He was just asking me question after question- I got everything else right."

______ _ _

"He fixed it, though," Zayn said, level headed as always. "Didn't you?"

______ _ _

Louis stopped pacing, turning his attention back to Liam sharply. "You did?"

______ _ _

"Yeah, I said that we'd been friends online since secondary school, but that we only met in uni. I told him I'd seen you as my boyfriend since we'd started talking...I went on and on about unrequited love and how you only starting liking me back in uni," Liam rubbed the back of his neck. "I did my best, I'm sorry."

______ _ _

"No, Li," Louis pulled him into a hug, running a hand up and down his back comfortingly. "I'm sure it's fine. That's really not too bad, and you said you fixed it. So it's fine." His panic cooled slightly, decreasing from a full boil to a simmer just beneath his skin. "Look, I'm sorry for dragging you into this. You did brilliantly, mate. You too, Z. Thank you."

______ _ _

Liam pulled back, stepping out of Louis' arms so he was next to Zayn. Zayn slipped an arm around Liam's waist, fingers tapping an uneven rhythm on his side. "We wouldn't have done anything else, mate," he said sincerely. "Besides, that's it now, isn't it? Liam was the last person to be questioned. Now all we have to do is wait."

______ _ _

Liam nodded his agreement. "Have you seen Harry today?"

______ _ _

"Briefly," Lous replied. "And I've got his class from now until the end of the day."

______ _ _

"Okay, well I'm going to take Liam home before my next session," Zayn said. "I'll see you later on?"

______ _ _

"You will," Louis said resignedly, picking his bag up from the floor. "Thanks again, Li. We owe you. Don't worry about it too much, yeah?"

______ _ _

With a final quick hug, they were gone. Louis followed them out of the room but turned the opposite way, turning right down the next corridor and half jogging towards his twelfth year class, knowing he was running a little late. He could hear them chatting from down the hall, so he made a huge noise in his entrace, drawing their attention to him so they fell into silence.

______ _ _

"Afternoon, sorry I'm late," Louis called over the din. They settled immediately, all turning to him, waiting for instruction. Dumping his bag on the table, Louis gripped the back of his desk chair, surveying them all. "Er, right."

______ _ _

His conversation with Liam and Zayn had thrown him. He couldn't concentrate on directing them to do anything, mind completely blank. He pulled out his chair, collapsing down into it and pulling his lesson plan from his bag. He scanned it quickly, and then looked up at them, helpless. Harry looked worried, leaning forward on his desk, watching Louis with a frown creasing his forehead.

______ _ _

"Louis?" Amy asked carefully. "Are you okay?"

______ _ _

Louis nodded quickly. "Absolutely. Yes. Course. So, uh. Warm up's, yes. So we've moved on from _Streetcar_ , and now we're onto exam prep, right. Let's go with a few warm ups, and then I'll leave you to do your own thing. Sound good?"

______ _ _

His smile seemed to reassure them, because they all did as asked, gathering on the floor at the end of the studio and waiting for Louis to lead them. Louis steeled himself, and then followed them, standing in front of them and beginning to divide them up.

______ _ _

Most of the way through the session, after they'd all had a break and come back again, Louis was sat behind his desk, pretending to be doing more lesson plans while he slyly watched Harry work. He'd just finished the plans for the rest of the week, when he caught a movement out of the corner of his left eye.

______ _ _

Niall stood at the door to his studio, beckoning Louis over with urgent waves of his hand. Louis stood, took a quick moment to check that all the kids were okay, and then slipped outside.

______ _ _

"Hey, what's up?" Louis asked. He eyed Niall warily, unsure of his eager bouncing on the balls of his feet.

______ _ _

"I went by Hazel's office a minute ago," Niall told him excitedly, grinning like mad. "Heard them talking. Guess what, Lou?! They're dropping the investigation!"

______ _ _

Louis stared. "They...they're what?" he said faintly.

______ _ _

"They're dropping it- got nothing on you. Liam did it! Lou...it's over!"

______ _ _

Niall grabbed him, yanking him into a fierce hug. Louis clutched him back, gripping fistfuls of Niall's tshirt. The punch of shock to his chest had tears burning behind his eyes. He shook his head in tiny increments in utter disbelief on Niall's shoulder, not even daring to believe what he'd been told.

______ _ _

"Fuck," he choked. "Holy fuck."

______ _ _

He barely dared to think past what that meant, nothing past the shooting thought that it was _over_. All the worry, the panic, the stress- all gone. He and Harry....they were going to be okay. He whimpered, clinging to Niall even harder.

______ _ _

"I know," Niall reassured, pulling back to look at him. "They'll call you in there at the end of the day, to give you official confirmation, like. But it's done! Finished!"

______ _ _

Louis lifted a shaking hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was glad of Niall's hands still heavy on his shoulders; without them he thought he would probably collapse to the floor with the staggering, overwhelming relief that ran through his veins like fire.

______ _ _

Harry. He needed Harry.

______ _ _

"Tell Harry after you've been to see Williams," Niall read his mind. "Tell him when it's just the two of you."

______ _ _

Louis could think of nothing worse than having to wait all that time- it was unfair to keep it from Harry when he knew- but he nodded his assent. "Right. You're right."

______ _ _

Niall pulled him into another quick hug. "I just stopped by on my way to class- I wanted to be the one to tell you."

______ _ _

"Thank you," Louis said earnestly, voice wobbling in his throat. "You have no idea, just. Thank you."

______ _ _

"We're all coming over tonight," Niall told him, tone brooking no argument. "We're gonna celebrate."

______ _ _

"Yeah, yeah okay. Text Liam, then."

______ _ _

"Will do." Niall patted his shoulder, winking. "Good luck getting through the rest of the day. I'll see you later."

______ _ _

Louis stared after him. He shook his head from side to side, half thinking that if he did it hard enough he'd wake up and none of what Niall had just told him would be true. But the walls stayed firm, the floor stayed flat beneath his feet; it was only Louis' blood that moved, rushing through his veins, euphoric and powerful.

______ _ _

Back in the classroom, Harry quirked an eyebrow at Louis' beaming grin. His little smile was confused, and Louis nodded his head encouragingly. He bit his lip to contain his grin from growing any further, and then he turned his attention to his other students.

______ _ _

 

______ _ _

*****

______ _ _

 

______ _ _

Louis ran to his car, throwing himself inside it and jamming the key in the ignition. He'd sent a text to Harry when class had finished, telling him to meet him in the little side street they'd used to meet at before, and that he'd be there in ten to pick him up. Louis could tell he was confused, but he'd agreed all the same.

______ _ _

Louis couldn't get to him fast enough. He crawled out of the college gates in the traffic, drumming his fingers on the wheel and darting his eyes repeatedly in his mirrors. Once he was free, he sped off down the road.

______ _ _

Watching Williams squirm while he told Louis that the accusations against him were false had been hilarious. Louis had acted solemnly, nodding sincerely and accepting his profuse apologies graciously, but all the while on the inside he'd been bursting with absolute joy. Some of his happiness had leeched onto his face, and he made sure Williams knew it was because he was very pleased that the allegations had been dropped, and that he could still continue his job here at the college, but all he could think about was Harry. Telling him, and knowing they were safe.

______ _ _

He turned the last corner, and then brought the car to screeching halt where Harry stood on the pavement. He was still dressed in his dance clothes with his hair pulled back into a bun, Louis' favourite look on him, and when he got into the car and opened his mouth in a greeting, Louis couldn't help himself. He leaned over, pressing his mouth to Harry's, drawing a long, deep kiss from him.

______ _ _

Harry yanked himself back, a hand on Louis' chest. He peered out of the windows quickly, and then turned back to Louis, urgent. "What are you-"

______ _ _

"It's over," Louis breathed, interrupting him. "They dropped the allegations."

______ _ _

Harry's reaction was much the same as Louis' own had been. He sat completely still, mouth half open in shock. "They...what?"

______ _ _

"Yeah," Louis nodded, voice strangely thick. "Haz. We did it."

______ _ _

There was a long pause.

______ _ _

"What the _fuck_ ," Harry said succintly, eyes wide, and then he launched himself over the car at Louis.

______ _ _

His arms wrapped around Louis' neck and Louis held him close, breathing him in, stroking a hand down his spine and hushing his shaking shoulders. When he pulled back Louis' tee was damp, and Harry's eyes were wet.

______ _ _

"Fuck. Didn't I tell you?" he said, smiling wonderfully and gripping Louis' hand. "We're gonna be okay."

______ _ _

Louis laughed, tipping his head back against the headrest and shutting his eyes tight in case he started crying himself. When he opened them again Harry was edging in closer, so Louis held his chin between his thumb and forefinger, oh so reminiscent of their first kiss, and pressed their lips together so gently and sweetly it _ached_.

______ _ _

"You're not fucking with me, are you?" Harry asked when they separated between kisses, though his eyes were full of mirth. "This isn't some elaborate joke you've made with the others, is it?"

______ _ _

"What? No! Don't be an idiot, Haz."

______ _ _

"Just thought I'd check."

______ _ _

"Twat," Louis said fondly. He fisted a hand in the front of Harry's tshirt. "I'm so in love with you," he breathed, lips just brushing Harry's with his words.

______ _ _

Harry made a wordless sound, something close to a sob, and gripped Louis' cheeks in his palms. "Ditto. I love _you_."

______ _ _

His right hand dropped from Louis' face, rubbing the top of his thigh and edging closer towards his crotch. Louis let half a moan slip from his lips, quiet and low in the small space between them. Though there were other cars and houses around them, it felt like they were separated from the outside world, just the two of them, finding a place to hide in one another and blocking out anything that existed outside Louis' car.

______ _ _

"Haz," he said reluctantly when Harry's fingers inched underneath his tee, murmurs of 'need you, Lou, please, _please_ ' reaching his ears. "The boys are waiting at home. They wanna celebrate."

______ _ _

Harry was quiet for a moment, and then he nodded, pulling away abruptly and reaching for his seatbelt. "Mine, then. No one's home. We've got time."

______ _ _

 

______ _ _

*****

______ _ _

 

______ _ _

Niall actually cheered when they walked into Louis and Liam's flat later that evening. They'd both showered, and Harry had changed, but it was fairly obvious where they'd been. At the boy's knowing looks, Harry blushed and went to sit on the arm of the sofa. When he was halfway down, though, he swerved and stood again, wincing.

______ _ _

Louis rolled his lips into his mouth and winked at Harry when he caught his eye, thoughts briefly turning to the tender scratches down his back and the crescent shaped indents on his biceps that matched Harry's fingernails. He hadn't been gentle, and Harry hadn't wanted him to be; the knowledge that no one was after them anymore and that they didn't have to be afraid all the time had made them frantic. Their rough touches and desperate hands and lips meant that they'd both come off a little worse for wear.

______ _ _

"Boys!" Niall welcomed, arms open with a can of beer in each hand. "You took your time."

______ _ _

"No prizes for guessing what they were doing. Hazza, do you want a pillow to sit on?" Zayn asked innocently, holding a cushion from the sofa out to him.

______ _ _

Harry's cheeks flamed, and he sunk down onto the sofa with a bit of a grimace as Niall cackled. Louis cracked the tab on the can that Niall had handed him, and then sat next to Harry, patting his knee soothingly and handing him the other can.

______ _ _

"Very funny, guys," he said, rolling his eyes. "We celebrating then, or what?"

______ _ _

"We most certainly are, Tommo," Liam replied. "We are celebrating getting away with what is probably the most impressive lie of the century. So, Niall's got the beer in, and the plan is to get as hammered as we possibly can until we all pass out-"

______ _ _

"Or until you drag Harry off to the bedroom again and we have to turn the music up to drown out the sounds of you fucking," Zayn cut in.

______ _ _

"That too," Liam finished, sweet-as-sugar smile on his face.

______ _ _

Harry leaned into Louis, shifting so he was tucked under his arm. "Sounds like a plan to me," he said, and then realised what he'd said. "I mean about the drinking part! Not...not the bedroom part."

______ _ _

Niall scoffed. "Yeah, right. Remind us why you're so late, Haz? Making up for lost time?"

______ _ _

"Boys," Louis interrupted, making them all look at him. "Before this gets going, just let me say something, yeah?"

______ _ _

"Don't cry on us, Lou."

______ _ _

"Fuck off. No, look, thank you. I mean it. I'm sorry it's been so stressful and that there's been so many things to deal with, but I'm glad you lot were there. There's no way we could have done it by ourselves."

______ _ _

Harry nodded his head in agreement. "Thank you. For not running a mile when we first told you, as well."

______ _ _

"Stranger things have happened," Liam shrugged casually, but his eyes were warm when he spoke. "You're welcome. Just don't forget that you owe us. Big time, obviously," he teased.

______ _ _

"I really do," Louis agreed. His fingertips traced the skin at the top of Harry's arm in nonsensical patterns. "Love you, boys."

______ _ _

"Love you, too," they chorused.

______ _ _

Niall held up his beer can. "To us," he said. "We fuckin' made it."

______ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter will be the last one! It should be up in the next week or so :)  
> Chapter title comes from Green Eyes, by Coldplay  
> Thanks for reading!


	16. sunlight comes creeping in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The final chapter!

 

 

Three weeks later

 

"Hurry the fuck up, Liam!" Louis yelled, hopping on one foot whilst he tried to pull a shoe on the other. He staggered to the left, losing his balance, and cursed loudly as he narrowly avoided crashing to the floor. "Fuck!"

He snatched at his bag, upending it on the sofa and spreading the contents of it around in a frantic quest to find his keys.

"Liam!" he yelled again. A faint bang came from behind Liam's closed bedroom door and Louis groaned to himself, shaking his head. "You two have got time to fuck later," he muttered, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice. "Today of all days- where the _fuck_ are my keys?!"

Zayn emerged from Liam's room, smirking and pulling his tee over his head. "I saw them in the kitchen earlier. We've got plenty of time, Lou. Slow down."

"Right. Right, course," Louis jogged to the kitchen and spotted his keys on the counter. Grabbing them and stuffing them in his pocket, he reentered the living room to see Liam coming out of his bedroom, adjusting the zip on his trousers. Louis sighed heavily. "Have you two finished?"

"We'd barely started, actually," Liam told him cheerfully, reaching for his own shoes half hidden under the coffee table. "Right, I'm ready. Let's go."

"Well, I'm glad you two are taking this so seriously," Louis huffed. "It's not like this is the biggest day of Harry's college career so far or anything."

"We're going, we're going," Liam said over the top of his grumblings, herding him out of the door. "We're just messing with you, we know how important this is."

"It's not like you can do anything when we get there," Zayn said, matter-of-fact, when they climbed into the car with Liam behind the driver's seat. "All we can do is stand around and chat to the kids while they get ready."

"I know." Louis pulled his seatbelt across his body and clicked it in place. "But I told Haz I'd be there early so I could see him before the show. I just want to be there for him, that's all," he shrugged.

The other two murmured their understanding, and settled down for the journey into the college. Louis sat back in his seat, letting their bickering about which music they should have go over his head.

The nerves fluttering about in Louis' stomach weren't for himself, no; he'd finished his responsibilities for the semester. He'd put on extra revision classes, filmed final performances and overseen exams, and sent away tapes and papers to be marked. He'd officially finished his teaching year; there was nothing more he had to do, aside from a few new lesson plans, until term started again in September.

The nerves were on Harry's behalf. Louis had been bereft of his company for the past few days as Harry had finished up his other exams and attended final rehearsals for the show. All his free time had been spent at last minute sessions with his tutor and group rehearsals at the college in the evenings. The two of them had been forced to go back to their old routine of texting all day and calling each other when they could, but Louis would take what he could get. It wasn't for much longer, after all.

After the show today, Harry would no longer be a student at the college. After today, they had whole summer stretched out ahead of them, wide and open and free for the two of them to do whatever they wanted. Stress-free, pressure-free, responsibility free, Louis couldn't wait. He didn't care what he did, as long as it was with Harry. He had plans to take him away on a holiday somewhere where no one knew them, eager to spend some time alone. He felt they deserved it after the semester they'd had.

He patted the box in his jacket pocket reassuringly, nodding to himself. At some point today he'd have to get Harry alone to give it to him. It felt like he was carrying around a brick in his pocket rather than a small box, but he was determined to find the right time, somewhere where they wouldn't be disturbed.

Someone New by Hozier was playing on the radio. Zayn's voice sang along softly in the back seat. Out of the corner of Louis' eye he saw Liam's fingers tapping along on the wheel. He turned his head away, smiling softly as his mind cast back to that first day he'd had Harry in his car. How long ago that seemed, he thought, marvelling at how much they'd been through since then. Louis still had Harry's album in his car, but he thought Harry probably wouldn't mind if it found its permanent home there now.

The college was alive with people when they' eventually found a space in the staff car park. People rushed backwards and forwards, some with headsets and clipboards, looking harried and directing guests inside the building. As teachers, Zayn and Louis could get in the side entrance, and they did so with Liam in tow. Niall was already backstage with the band, no doubt calming nerves and being his usual relaxed self.

The hall was already crowded, even though they were early, parents and friends already taking their seats in the rows and rows of chairs lined out in front of the vast stage. Red velvet curtains were pulled across the stage, hiding both performers and crew from view. As they made their way through the crowd towards backstage, they checked their seats, Louis very pleased to see he was seated close to the stage at the left hand side.

A quick glance round notified him of Anne's presence, sat a few rows back from the stage in the middle. She caught Louis' eye and smiled warmly, nodding her greeting. Louis raised a hand and waved quickly. Behind her he could see Williams hanging around at the main entrance of the hall, shaking the hands of parents and inviting them to take seats wherever they liked with grand gestures of his arms. Louis still had a mind to stay well out of his way, so when his back was turned, he left Liam and Zayn in their seats and slipped backstage.

The dressing rooms were a hive of activity, people rushing around armed with costumes and make up, calling names and orders. There was an air of anticipation in the air, underlined with a well concealed hint of fear. A line of ballerinas passed Louis on their way to make up. Louis side-stepped them, keeping to the edges of the hallways. A few students waved hello, and he wished them luck as he wandered through the halls, peering around each corner.

Eventually, he found Harry onstage. He was stood just behind the closed curtains, fiddling with the waistband of his white leggings. Louis looked over his shoulder to check no one was close enough to eavesdrop, and then went to stand next to Harry, their shoulders just inches apart.

"Hi, love," he said under his breath, shooting Harry a quick smile.

There was no denying Harry looked scared. He'd already been in makeup, hair tied back in a neat bun, just the smallest hint of kohl eyeliner ringing his eyes. If anything, the black of his make up and all-white of his costume just made him look paler. His cheeks were devoid of all colour.

He tried to smile, looking pleased to see Louis but terrified at the same time. "Hi," he returned. "I'm glad you're here."

"Feeling all right?" Louis asked in a low voice, badly wanting to rest a hand on his shoulder or rub his back comfortingly. Instead he swayed to the left, just brushing his bicep against Harry's before swaying away again. He hoped it offered some reassurance. "The boys are all here. I've just seen your mum, too."

Harry nodded. "Somehow that makes me even more nervous."

"Don't be," Louis told him. Harry cocked an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. "I know, I know. There's not much point in telling you not to be nervous because I know you will be anyway. But you don't need to be. You're gonna smash this. If it helps, just pretend it's just you and me in one of the studios. And if that doesn't help, just do that time old trick where you imagine-"

"Imagine the audience naked?" Harry finished, smiling genuinely. "Not sure imagining you naked is going to help my concentration much."

Louis snorted, looking over his shoulder again. He elbowed Harry gently. "Not me, idiot. Just them as a whole. That's what I did when I was in Grease, anyway. It works, promise."

"Don't tell me where you're sitting," Harry told him. He lifted his left hand to nibble at the skin around his thumbnail. "I'd just rather not know."

"Fair enough."

There was a call from backstage, and suddenly everything seemed to speed up. People started lining up, adjusting costumes, patting each other on the back and telling each other to break a leg.

"It's starting, you'd better go," Harry said. He exhaled a shaky breath. "Wish me luck."

"I'll be watching," Louis promised. He turned away from Harry, pausing just long enough to breathe, "Break a leg, babe. I'll see you when the lights go up."

Harry nodded. "Love you," he whispered.

"Love you."

Louis made his way out from backstage and rejoined Liam and Zayn in their seats. The hall was fuller now, more and more people being ushered into their seats. The rustle of jackets being removed and the chatter of parents greeting each other drowned out the light music that was being played through the speakers.

"How is he?" Liam asked, throwing an arm around Louis' shoulders.

"Terrified," Louis pursed his lips. "Hate seeing him like that."

"Being scared helps," Zayn said nonchalantly. "You above everyone else should know that when it comes to performing. That fear will turn to adrenaline." He lifted one shoulder in casual confidence. "He's gonna be brilliant."

The hall lights faded then, gradually being switched off until the only light came from a spotlight that lit up Williams where he was stood on the stage in front of the stage curtain. He launched into his welcome speech, and Louis tuned him out, choosing instead to survey the audience around him. He knee bounced up and down, and after a moment Liam stilled it with his hand. Louis mouthed an apology and folded his arms across his chest, trying to keep himself still.

There was a light smattering of applause when Williams exited the stage, and then the curtains were swept aside and the band started their set for the introduction. Niall stood at the head of them, dressed smartly in a black tux, effortlessly guiding his students through the pieces.

Though Louis focused on each act, appreciating the individual performers' work and applauding loudly with the rest of the faculty, he could only just bear the ever growing knot of anticipation in his stomach. All through the interval where he chatted to a few parents, through the lights going back down and the female troupe of ballet dancers opening the second half of the show, Louis was jittery with excitement.

It was clear to the audience when the headline act was coming on. The lighting changed into something that resembled moonlight, all shades of deep blue, and there was a small interlude of melodic music and smoke swirling across the floor of the stage. Louis' stomach clenched. He shuffled to sit on the edge of his seat, ready for the moment Harry would appear.

The music faded and the remaining low light went down. There was a moment of silence and darkness, only broken by the rustling of people moving in the audience, and then [piano music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtBcwEphCZs) started. The blue lights came up again to reveal Harry stood in the center of the stage in position, head lowered.

As a female voice began to sing, Harry lifted his head on cue. Louis, being so close to stage, could see Harry was totally gone to the music. He could see the concentration in his eyes, totally focused on the movements of his limbs. His first movements were gentle and easy, only his upper body moving in time.

The first verse finished, music swelling into the first chorus, and Harry spun on the balls of one foot, spotting himself at a point over the heads of the audience. He came out of the spin, sweeping an arm in a wide arch over his head, and then moved across stage away from Louis into the opposite corner. With a couple of steps as a run up, he launched himself into a jump, perfectly controlled and graceful, and before Louis could blink he'd landed and slipped seamlessly into the next position.

Louis was vaguely aware that his mouth had fallen a little way open as he looked up at Harry. He could only stare, stunned, the overwhelming feeling of awe consuming him completely. Had he been aware of anybody else around him, he would have seen the hush that had fallen over the audience, the stillness that had taken over them as they focused in on Harry, all completely captivated.

Harry's white outfit made him look all the more ethereal as he moved starkly against the dim lighting, his eyeliner adding just a touch of something else to him. Mystery, perhaps. Magic. As the final chorus came to a close Harry ended up back where he'd started in the centre of the stage. He stood tall, arms stretched out wide at shoulder height.

On the screen behind him, in sync with the final lyrics, a pair of wide, pure white wings faded into clarity. Harry was positioned perfectly onstage for it to look like the wings were spreading from his own shoulderblades. Louis felt rather than heard his own sharp intake of breath. Goosebumps pimpled on his skin. The last chords of the piano faded, and the stage went black, the whole hall plunged into darkness.

There was a moment of quiet. Then the applause started, rippling through the room, accompanied by the sound of thundering feet as people stood from their chairs. Louis was up like a shot, quickly followed by Liam and Zayn, clapping as loud as he could.

A final spotlight came on, illuminating Harry at the front of the stage. The cheers increased, mainly coming from Louis' section of the audience. Harry took his bows, grinning widely, eyes sparkling in the light. Louis smiled along with him, though Harry couldn't see him, and fought back the lump in his throat. A quick glance at Anne told him she had tears in her eyes, too.

Harry bowed one last time, and then exited offstage. The audience took their seats again as the band took their places onstage to perform the finale.

"What did I tell you?!" Zayn said in a hushed whisper, admiration glittering in his dark eyes. "Fucking nailed it!"

"I had no idea that was what he could do," Liam added, wide eyed.

Pride surged in Louis' chest, so strong it nearly took his breath away. His mind reeled; he was barely able to get his head around the fact that the boy who had just performed was _his_ Harry. Louis got to call him his. He was glad that the audience was mostly in darkness; he needed the time to collect himself before he gave away how staggeringly proud he was of Harry, and how completely gone for him he was.

The band finished, marking the end of the show, and the red curtains swept across the stage in closure. Williams took up his place again, thanking people for coming and notifying them of the light refreshments that were laid out outside the hall. A hum of chatter started in the audience as people got to their feet, gradually beginning to make their way out of the hall.

There was no time to see Harry now, so Louis sent him a congratulatory text that asked if he could have his mum drop him at Louis' flat when they were both done here. He got two smiley faces and three kisses back, which he took to be an agreement. Accompanied by the other two, Louis began weaving in and out of the groups of friends and family, stopping to talk to parents and students alike.

Louis spent the next hour signing school shirts and yearbooks and taking photo after photo with his students. If Harry was even in the college anymore, Louis couldn't tell; he was lost in the throngs of people. Tia and Amy even got a bit tearful when they came to see him, so Louis had to do his best to comfort them, keeping their sniffles to a minimum whilst he reassured them they could come back and visit him in the college anytime they liked. When they were finally placated, armed with yearbooks and numerous photos of them both with their classmates and Louis, they finally left under the comfort of their families. Louis found he was actually a little sad to see them go.

One by one his twelfth year students stopped him to say goodbye, and Louis watched each of them leave the college doors with a mixture of pride and sadness in him. He'd only had them for one semester, but he really did feel as though he'd connected with them. Zayn's advice on his first day in college, to treat his students like friends, was actually the best advice he'd received in his teaching career so far.

He slipped away when the crowds started thinning out, inexplicably drawn back to the dance studios. They were all locked up for the summer so Louis couldn't get into any of them, but he was content to just hover outside the sixth studio at the end of the corridor and peer into the dark room beyong the glass door. He doubted he'd ever forget seeing Harry dance in there for the first time. Coming back here in September, where there was going to be a whole set of new people to teach and work with, Harry not being one of them, was going to take some getting used to.

Louis nodded to himself after a few minutes, satisfied, and then turned away back towards the main entrance of the college. He patted his pocket again idly, feeling the weight of the box knocking against his palm. A small bundle of nerves twinged in his stomach.

Liam and Zayn were found waiting for him at the top of the concrete steps outside the front of the college. The time told them it should be about time to meet Harry back at the flat, so they piled back into the car and began the drive home. Zayn rode in the front next to Liam, while Louis took his seat in the back, content to just sit by himself for a while. He used the drive home to collect himself, centre himself again and get his emotions in check before he saw Harry. He made a few comments to the other two, following their conversation, and answered questions when he was asked them, but he was otherwise quiet, just thinking.

Anne was parked outside their building when they arrived. When they climbed out of the car Harry did the same, leaning back through the window to say goodbye. He came to stand by Louis, lacing their fingers together. Anne smiled knowingly and raised her hand in a wave before she checked her mirrors and then pulled away.

Louis took a couple of steps towards the door to the building, leading Harry along with him. When he was digging around in his jeans pocket for his keys, he noticed the other two weren't with them. He turned, finding them edging slowly backwards towards the car.

He narrowed his eyes. "Why do you look like you're up to something?" he asked Liam's shifty expression.

Liam pulled a face, features twisting as he fumbled over his words. "We, erm... have something to do. Somewhere...not here."

"Yeah," Zayn said, opening the passenger side door again. "You two look like you might want some time..."

"Time alone," Liam finished, rubbing the back of his neck. "We thought we might give you some space to- er..."

"Talk."

"Yes. Talk."

Harry snorted quietly in Louis' ear. Louis felt blood rush to his cheeks. "'Thanks, I guess?"

"Welcome!" Liam chirped from inside the car. He turned the ignition and the car rumbled to life. "Text us when it's safe to come home!"

Harry chuckled to himself all the way up to the flat, fingers still loosely entwined with Louis'. He'd changed out of his costume and into old, worn jeans and a faded Rolling Stones tee, hair down and loose and his blue bandana tied around his neck. He toed off his boots by the door and made his way to the kitchen ahead of Louis, talking over his shoulder as he went. "Are we that obvious that they can predict when we're going to have sex?"

"Er, not exactly," Louis rose his voice so it would carry into the kitchen from where he still stood by the door. "Though Liam has told me before that we're not very subtle."

He heard Harry's little laugh. "Tea?" he called out to Louis.

"Yeah, thanks."

The familiar sound of the tap and water filling the kettle reached Louis' ears. There was the click of Harry switching the kettle on and then the clink of mugs knocking together in the cupboard. Louis reached into the pocket of his denim jacket, thumbing over the leather of the box. Breathing in deeply and then letting it out slowly, he stepped forward.

Harry had his back to him, one hand in the cupboard above the boiling kettle to retrieve two teabags and drop them into the mugs on the counter in front of him.

"So did you imagine the audience naked, then?" Louis asked from the doorway.

"Actually, I couldn't even see anyone in the end...cos of the lights," Harry said without turning around, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. 'Just as well, really. Did you like it? What I did?"

" _Loved_ it," Louis emphasised, walking forwards to wrap his arms around Harry's waist from behind and hugging close to him. "It was amazing. You were so good. Everyone thought so, didn't you hear them clapping?"

"It was all a bit of a blur to be honest. I'm glad they filmed it, though. I'd like to watch it back."

"Mm. I'll get on that- find out when they're going to be selling the copies."

"Thanks."

Louis let go of Harry's waist, taking a couple of steps back. He cleared his throat. "Haz."

Harry turned to face him. Louis' expression made his smile slip a little, concern flashing across his features. "You all right?"

Louis bobbed his head, nodding. "Yes, fine. Yeah. Look, Haz. Liam and Zayn, they weren't just getting out of the way cos of that."

Harry stilled. His eyebrows furrowed in the centre slightly. His shoulders had become a little stiffer, his entire body held still apart from his eyes darting over Louis' face.

"I mean, they were getting out of the way cos of that, but also, like. Because," Louis swallowed heavily. "I've been talking to Liam. About you and me."

"What about us?"

"Just that...I really kind of love you a lot," Louis wanted to smack himself for how clumsy that sounded. "And now college is done, we can spend more time together. You know, no more hiding. And I'd kind of...like to be around you more."

Harry nodded slowly. "I want that, too. Course I do. Where's this going?"

Louis' hand reached for his pocket. Harry's eyes followed his movements, widening when Louis pulled the black box from his pocket. His mouth popped open a little comically.

"Louis," he said in a strangled voice. "I'm not ready for that. I mean," he hurried to say. "I'd love to marry you someday, but right now I've got to think about my career-"

A shocked bark of laughter left Louis' mouth. He held up a hand to stop Harry in his tracks, leaning on the counter next to him for support. His knees felt a little wobbly. "Oh my god! Harry, no. I'm not asking you to marry me."

Harry just looked adorably confused now, though there was something akin to relief in his voice when he asked, "You're not?"

"No, idiot," Louis said fondly. His heart beat harder in his chest at Harry's words, though. _Love to marry you someday_. "I want to marry you at some point, too. Not now, though, hey? Look," he put the box on the counter and slid it over to Harry. "Open it."

Harry eyed him for a second. Then he picked up the box and prised it open, peering inside curiosly.

Louis held his breath. The kettle boiled and clicked off.

Harry plucked out the contents of the box, holding it up. "It's a key," he stated.

They both looked at it for a second. Harry turned it left and right in his fingers so the lights overhead caught on the brilliantly shining silver.

"Right," Louis said softly. "Like I said, I want to be around you more. So it's a key, to here," he gestured around the kitchen. "It's so you can come and go as you please. You don't have to wait for me to be home before you come over. You can just let yourself in. I'm not asking you to move in, either," he held his palms up in acquiescence. "But I'd like it if you and I spent some more time here together. That's why I spoke to Liam, just running by him first. He thinks it's a good idea, so. That's why they left, they knew I wanted to give it to you now..." Louis trailed off. Harry was still staring at the key in his hand. "You're not saying anything."

Louis saw Harry's throat bob as he swallowed. "You're serious?" he croaked. "You want me to have my own key to your apartment?"

"That's the idea," Louis said, becoming a little worried that he'd been too forward. "If you don't want it-"

"No!" Harry snatched his hand back as if he was afraid Louis would try and take it from him. He clenched his fist around it, and then flung his arms around Louis' shoulders. "This is brilliant," he breathed into Louis' neck, voice sounding strangely thick. "I don't even know what to say. Thank you. _Thank you_."

"You're welcome, love," Louis ran a hand down his spine, "I mean it. I want you here."

"I want to be here." he drew back, eyes shining in excitement. "This is so good, cos I can come here and study when Mum's got people round at home, and it's on the way to the theatre so I can come in and see you, and-"

"Wait," Louis interrupted his rapid fire chatter. "What theatre?"

"Oh!" Harry's eyes grew round as saucers. "I was going to tell you before you gave me this!" he waved his fist at Louis. "After the show I was talking to my ballet tutor, and she introduced me to her friend who works at the Hollybrook theatre, you know the one?"

Louis nodded. "The one just past the college? I know it."

"Right," Harry beamed. "And he asked me what I was doing now college was over, and then he asked me if I wanted to come join the theatre! To train and stuff, and then he said I was good enough to perform in some shows there!"

"Harry!" Louis cupped Harry's cheeks in his palms. "That's amazing, love!"

Harry scuffed his socked foot on the tile beneath him. "I know it's not the English National Ballet or anything, but it's a start."

"It's more than that," Louis told him firmly. "It's incredible. I'm so proud of you. Real life Billy Elliot, aren't you?"

Harry's cheeks pinked. "I think this might be the best day of my life," he stated.

At the same time as Harry leaned down Louis pushed up to meet him, searing their mouths together, utterly euphoric. He felt Harry's hands snake around his waist, one still tightly closed in a fist with the key hidden inside. Louis wound his fingers through Harry's hair, feeling the freshly washed strands slip over his skin. Harry's tongue touched his lips and he parted them, letting a slow breath out of his nose.

Their urgency slowed after a moment, harsh kisses moving into softer, more languid ones. The clatter of the key hitting the counter reached Louis' ears, and then Harry's hands were feeling down the back of his thighs, taking his weight and sitting him up on the counter. Louis widened his knees, letting Harry slot between them. He linked his arms around Harry's neck, and Harry's hands settled at the tops of his thighs.

They stayed like that for minutes on end, until they had no choice but to break apart. They rested their foreheads together, one of Louis' hands playing idly with the bandana around Harry's neck.

"You won't get rid of me now, Mr Tomlinson," Harry murmured.

Louis startled at his name, opening his eyes to find Harry grinning at him. "You've never called me that in your life!"

"Do you like it?"

"Er," Louis thought for a second. "No. Makes me sound old." Harry huffed a noisy laugh out of his nose. "Good, though. That's good. You won't get rid of me, either."

"Good," Harry mimicked. "Looks like we're both stuck with each other then."

Louis tilted his head up for another kiss.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

 

The End. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Thank you for following this from the beginning and for your lovely comments, it means a lot that you take time to leave them and tell me what you thought.  
> The chapter title comes from the song Harry dances to in this chapter- Wings (Acoustic) by Birdy- it's such a larry song.  
> J xx
> 
> Just beginning my long multi-chaptered fic for the Big Bang- stay tuned!


End file.
